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How do you find time to find someone to date?


lookingforyou

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lookingforyou

I have a time-consuming job. Now I wish I had made more effort looking for someone before because I don't know how I can do that with the amount of time I spend at work.

 

I'm not into online dating. Should I just throw in the towel?

 

For the busy LSers out there, how do you manage and still find love?

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I went to a weekly meetup group and met someone. That was a one evening per week commitment and paid off well. And it was fun even on nights when there were no available men.

 

But BeginAgain has a point. If you are too busy to look for a date, what will happen if you actually meet someone?

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lookingforyou
I went to a weekly meetup group and met someone. That was a one evening per week commitment and paid off well. And it was fun even on nights when there were no available men.

 

But BeginAgain has a point. If you are too busy to look for a date, what will happen if you actually meet someone?

 

When I have time after work, I usually already am quite tired to want to go out.

 

I figured after I find someone I believe is worth my time, I'd find the time for this person. :o

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If you can't find the time now then the time won't materialize out of no where later. Finding someone to be serious with is a lot like a second job. It needs equal consideration compared to your actual job.

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If you are too busy to look for a date, what will happen if you actually meet someone?

You might not feel like going out on a particular night, but if you had a partner you'd be happy to have dinner and watch tv with them. Maintaining a relationship is much easier than finding one.

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I'm not into online dating. Should I just throw in the towel?

Throw in the towel this early on? I don't think so.

 

Give people a chance, just like life has given you a chance.

 

It is about setting up priorities and making the effort, and sticking to them. Why are you not into online dating? What's your number one turn off about it?

 

Limiting yourself, considering the little time you have outside of work, is only futile. You should make the effort to go out with a few friends at least once a week; go to bars, concerts, or special events happening in your area.

 

It's a numbers game. You have to talk to and get to know as many people as you can. IF you can't manage to do that, then don't be surprised if you end up 45 and still single.

 

Man up, and go out!

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I'm amazed how my brother-in-law does it. He has a demanding job, wife, two children under 5, works out, involved in a social community, and goes to an Ivy League school part-time. He looks like a dead man walking, but he's really happy.

 

I think the answer is that we will do what gives us joy and purpose. And the happiest people are often the most tired. A full life consumes every moment of our time. But we do it because we love it.

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Intricategirl
For the busy LSers out there, how do you manage and still find love?

 

Badly?? :)

 

I'm a single mom, writer/artist/real estate investor. I am currently getting my Master's in Cybersecurity, studying for the LSAT in June, have two back to back art shows and a conference also all in June I have to prepare for. My mom is extremely sick, and my sister is slowly going insane from it. And law school will soon follow.

 

It's made me less tolerant of putting up with guys I'm incompatible with, more focused on what I am looking for, and more picky. Which all sound like negative qualities, but I don't see it that way. It's a combination of boundaries and not settling. And people always ask what happens if I keep being picky and find myself alone for the rest of the life, but I see that as a stupid response. Those people are on a goal of finding someone to be in their life, whereas that's not a goal for me. If the opportunity presents itself, awesome. I've been just this busy before and still maintained a relationship. But I'm kind of taking some time for myself. If I find myself alone, at least I know that I'll love the person I'm with.

 

I guess I'm saying if it ever becomes a priority, I'll chase it then. Until then, I will go on coffee or dinner dates, and determine whether they are worth rearranging my life over. And if the answer is no, then I've got to leave them alone so they can find someone that thinks they are just that awesome.

 

One of the best pieces of advice a friend gave me is that if it's love, it's worth changing your plans. At the time I thought it was stupid. I mean, if they love me, they would want me to achieve all my dreams. But I'm starting to see the wisdom in it. If I met a guy tomorrow that was worth it, I'd ditch the art shows without a second thought. I might go work as a paralegal now instead of going for my JD. I'd at least reconsider moving across the country to the best law school that will have me.

 

When it becomes a priority, it will be a priority. Until then, it's just an excuse.

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Why are you writing off online dating?

Because it is complete sht. I saw an ugly girl's profile recently who warned about the flood of messages she was getting in regards to response time.

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Because it is complete sht. I saw an ugly girl's profile recently who warned about the flood of messages she was getting in regards to response time.

She has a vagina

Vagina = messages

 

:lmao::lmao:

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She has a vagina

Vagina = messages

 

:lmao::lmao:

I think it is mostly because she has a thin, petite body and is 20 iirc.

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Free Online Dating
I have a time-consuming job. Now I wish I had made more effort looking for someone before because I don't know how I can do that with the amount of time I spend at work.

 

I'm not into online dating. Should I just throw in the towel?

 

For the busy LSers out there, how do you manage and still find love?

love is very elusive and not easy even if you get lucky enough to find it. go to an online dating service and meet someone. i found a free one... thesingleslife.com, give it a shot

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love is very elusive and not easy even if you get lucky enough to find it. go to an online dating service and meet someone. i found a free one... thesingleslife.com, give it a shot

I think he can find his own, Free Online Dating.

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lookingforyou
You might not feel like going out on a particular night, but if you had a partner you'd be happy to have dinner and watch tv with them. Maintaining a relationship is much easier than finding one.

 

That was what I thought. No?

 

I figured if I found the someone I want to spend my life (or time) with, I would make time.

 

I'm less keen to go out there, find nobody and feel like I've wasted my time.

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lookingforyou
Throw in the towel this early on? I don't think so.

 

Give people a chance, just like life has given you a chance.

 

It is about setting up priorities and making the effort, and sticking to them. Why are you not into online dating? What's your number one turn off about it?

 

Limiting yourself, considering the little time you have outside of work, is only futile. You should make the effort to go out with a few friends at least once a week; go to bars, concerts, or special events happening in your area.

 

It's a numbers game. You have to talk to and get to know as many people as you can. IF you can't manage to do that, then don't be surprised if you end up 45 and still single.

 

Man up, and go out!

 

I don't like that someone I know may see me on the dating sites. I know, it's lame. But that's how I feel. :laugh:

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Should I just throw in the towel?

 

With the attitude you demonstrate here:

 

 

I figured if I found the someone I want to spend my life (or time) with, I would make time.

 

I'm less keen to go out there, find nobody and feel like I've wasted my time.

 

I'd say yes, just throw in the towel, if that's how you're going to be about it.

 

You're limiting yourself by saying you're too tired to make time, too busy to make time, etc.

 

You're limiting yourself by saying you don't like online dating.

 

You're doing nothing BUT limit yourself.

 

What solution could possibly fit you? You don't wan to go out in the world without a guarantee you'll meet someone "worth your time" and you don't want to bother with online dating either. I can almost guarantee you that you WON'T have the perfect partner knock on your door one day and waltz into your living room, declaring "Here I am! Make time now."

 

Maybe you'll meet someone at work, but other than that, I cannot imagine where since it seems that you are pouring all your energy into that. If you want to meet someone elsewhere, you have to go elsewhere, put your energy into things -- with people -- you find worthwhile. Cee mentioned meetup groups. There may be a group in your area that would be fun for you, where you could also meet people, but which you could enjoy and see as time well spent regardless of whether or not you find anyone to date there. Try that. Get out in the world. But stop throwing up giant walls and roadblocks everywhere you go, or yes, you might as well throw in the towel.

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lookingforyou
With the attitude you demonstrate here:

 

 

 

I'd say yes, just throw in the towel, if that's how you're going to be about it.

 

You're limiting yourself by saying you're too tired to make time, too busy to make time, etc.

 

You're limiting yourself by saying you don't like online dating.

 

You're doing nothing BUT limit yourself.

 

What solution could possibly fit you? You don't wan to go out in the world without a guarantee you'll meet someone "worth your time" and you don't want to bother with online dating either. I can almost guarantee you that you WON'T have the perfect partner knock on your door one day and waltz into your living room, declaring "Here I am! Make time now."

 

Maybe you'll meet someone at work, but other than that, I cannot imagine where since it seems that you are pouring all your energy into that. If you want to meet someone elsewhere, you have to go elsewhere, put your energy into things -- with people -- you find worthwhile. Cee mentioned meetup groups. There may be a group in your area that would be fun for you, where you could also meet people, but which you could enjoy and see as time well spent regardless of whether or not you find anyone to date there. Try that. Get out in the world. But stop throwing up giant walls and roadblocks everywhere you go, or yes, you might as well throw in the towel.

 

I do go out, albeit less regularly now. I suspect subconsciously I don't really want a relationship while on the consciousness, I tell myself I need one because that's what people do.

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I don't like that someone I know may see me on the dating sites. I know, it's lame. But that's how I feel. :laugh:

 

But if they see you on there, then they are online dating as well...most of these sites you can't view profiles unless you've signed up as well. :)

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Is your job a well paying job? If yes then u should realize that u r actually a catch. All u need to do is try. I wish I were done with school and had a good job. The limited money I have is what stands between me and getting decent women.

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lookingforyou
Is your job a well paying job? If yes then u should realize that u r actually a catch. All u need to do is try. I wish I were done with school and had a good job. The limited money I have is what stands between me and getting decent women.

 

I don't mean to be sexist but you might have mistaken me for a guy since you're talking about getting "decent women." My point is I'm a female with a relatively well paying job. Does that still make me a catch?

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I don't mean to be sexist but you might have mistaken me for a guy since you're talking about getting "decent women." My point is I'm a female with a relatively well paying job. Does that still make me a catch?

Oh well, since you mentioned your job in your first post, I assumed you were a guy. Sorry. :p

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Badly?? :)

 

I'm a single mom, writer/artist/real estate investor. I am currently getting my Master's in Cybersecurity, studying for the LSAT in June, have two back to back art shows and a conference also all in June I have to prepare for. My mom is extremely sick, and my sister is slowly going insane from it. And law school will soon follow.

 

It's made me less tolerant of putting up with guys I'm incompatible with, more focused on what I am looking for, and more picky. Which all sound like negative qualities, but I don't see it that way. It's a combination of boundaries and not settling. And people always ask what happens if I keep being picky and find myself alone for the rest of the life, but I see that as a stupid response. Those people are on a goal of finding someone to be in their life, whereas that's not a goal for me. If the opportunity presents itself, awesome. I've been just this busy before and still maintained a relationship. But I'm kind of taking some time for myself. If I find myself alone, at least I know that I'll love the person I'm with.

 

I guess I'm saying if it ever becomes a priority, I'll chase it then. Until then, I will go on coffee or dinner dates, and determine whether they are worth rearranging my life over. And if the answer is no, then I've got to leave them alone so they can find someone that thinks they are just that awesome.

 

One of the best pieces of advice a friend gave me is that if it's love, it's worth changing your plans. At the time I thought it was stupid. I mean, if they love me, they would want me to achieve all my dreams. But I'm starting to see the wisdom in it. If I met a guy tomorrow that was worth it, I'd ditch the art shows without a second thought. I might go work as a paralegal now instead of going for my JD. I'd at least reconsider moving across the country to the best law school that will have me.

 

When it becomes a priority, it will be a priority. Until then, it's just an excuse.

 

excellent post :love:

 

as for the OP, you just make time if you think it's worth it. you will tell your boss, colleagues and that stack of papers on your desk to eff off when you feel you need to.

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