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A tip for those frustrated with online dating


vanek26

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Let me start by saying I'm by no means an expert. I'm just another mid-20's guy who was looking for female companionship to no avail. I signed up for this site over a year ago and was told about online dating. I gave it a try, and the results were very disappointing. Eventually I learned, like everyone else, that it was just a numbers game. The key was to message as many people as you could with hopes of getting one to bite.

 

Yes, I did get laid off of the sites but that was only 3 different women in a year of checking the site regularly. I hooked up with about 10 girls and actually met probably around 20. I have over 50 phone numbers in my phone from girls off of okcupid and plenty of fish. But these numbers also come with the countless rejections and annoying flakes. Almost every woman i've met from an online dating site has left an incredibly sour taste in my mouth.

 

I eventually asked myself, what gives? It then occurred to me that when looking to meet women on the internet, an online dating site isn't necessarily the best way to go.

 

Think about it. These women are getting hit on by countless other guys who are just as interesting as me. They'll respond, they'll flirt, they may even agree to meet up with me. But I shouldn't flatter myself into thinking their online experience ends with me. Good looking girls who turn to online dating aren't doing it to find a committed relationship. If they're good looking, they obviously would have no trouble getting one in real life! Duh! They do it for the rush of getting complimented by a mountain of horny guys.

 

So where do we go from here? I found a solution that works wonders for me, and it involves something most everyone in my age range uses: Facebook.

 

My method is simple. Find one of your friends on facebook and look through their list of friends. If you see a cute girl, utilize the 'poke' feature. Even if their profile is private, you can almost always poke them. Once they 'poke' you back, send them a message and strike up a conversation. They will usually be wondering if they know you from somewhere. I used to try and think of a clever excuse, but now I just say "I stumbled upon your profile and thought you were cute, so I decided to poke away :p"

 

It may seem strange, but I've been doing it for a couple of weeks now, and have had incredible success. Here's the numbers: sex with 6 girls, hooking up with 10, and a slew of phone numbers. I actually had to slow it down a but because I don't have enough time to go on so many dates!

 

So, why does this work so well? Here are my thoughts on it

 

1. There is a bigger selection! Think about it. In terms of the single women in your area, very few of them sign up for an online dating site. But almost all of them probably have a facebook. You can literally find hundreds of new girls each day using this method.

 

2. No competition. This one is key. These girls aren't getting poked 50 times a day like they would be on plenty of fish. Most likely, it's only you who is giving them the attention.

 

3. You owe them nothing. You know the game with online dating: You message the girl and hope to say something witty enough to get them to respond. Right off the bat you're chasing them, and it's an inherent turn-off with women. Contacting someone through facebook is much more natural, and they probably won't feel like you're some desperate lonely guy if you play your cards right.

 

Obviously, the failure rate is still high. But I was surprised at the positive responses I got. Almost all of the girls poked me back, and of that group, a large majority responded to me when I messaged them. At that point I basically treat it like an online dating site, going back and forth with messaging, asking for their number, and eventually setting up a date.

 

Maybe I've just been extremely lucky, but the results are hard to ignore. Hopefully this can help out some other dudes who are in the boat i was in not too long ago!

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How do you know the girls you're poking aren't already in a relationship? I'm in a relationship, but would respond if someone poked me, even though I'm already taken. I'd probably message and ask if I knew them from somewhere.

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Well, depending on the privacy level of their profile, sometimes you can see if they're single or not. But in any event, who cares? Poke them anyways!

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