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how to ask a guy if he's interested

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Old 29th March 2011, 1:35 AM   #1
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how to ask a guy if he's interested

Hello, I've been doing the online dating thing for quite some time and lately have been stuck in a cycle where it seems that every guy I meet on there is interested in being friends only. However, they are not explicit about it and usually just leave me to kind of have to figure it out for myself. Despite listing myself as interested in a long term relationship, I'll continue to meet guys who tell me they enjoy hanging out with me, ask me to do something again, but then not want to see me very consistently and will not act flirtatious and complimentary in the slightest. I've just met a guy that I was very attracted to and had a great time with. We talked for over three hours and he requested that we meet up again next week. He even wrote me telling me how much fun he had how it was like a breath of fresh air to feel like he was able to be himself. He also asked what my impression of him was. I haven't been interested or attracted to a guy like this in some time. However, it's kind of the same deal...he didn't act flirtatious at all. Didn't compliment me at all. He expresses that he is shy and wants to break out of his shell and meet new people. This sounds to me again like he is just wanting someone to be friends with. While the most logical advice is just take it slowly and see where things end up, I'm tired of waiting for the guy to make a move or show some indication that he is interested in me as more than a friend. They never want to tell me, so I'm always left to figure it out for myself. I wouldn't mind being friends with this guy, but I'm on a freaking dating site for dating, not for friends. Is there a good way to bring this up without seeming creepy/forceful/insecure?
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Old 29th March 2011, 3:42 AM   #2
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Old 29th March 2011, 4:21 AM   #3
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Maybe your personalities aren't compatible?

And though I fear for being rude, but maybe you're shooting for guys who aren't attracted to you?

Trying to give you a male perspective.. as far as dating websites go, physical attraction weighs in 90%. So if you don't have good pictures, then you probably won't get very far. I had trouble with this when I first started myself.
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Old 29th March 2011, 9:12 PM   #4
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Usually they are guys that have messaged me first, so I'm not exactly seeking out these guys who end up not being attracted to me. This is also after we meet so I doubt it has to do with my pictures. My question may have gotten a little muddled within the text, but mainly I'm trying to figure out how to tell if a guy I met on a dating site is interested or ask him if he is (if it's even appropriate to).
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