PickMeARose Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I'm new to this, and would really like some kind of advice.. Ok. So long story short..well kind of. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. We recently took a 3 month break because I felt he wasn't moving forward. We have been living in his grandmas basement for the past 2 years, and I'm really ready to get a place of my own since I'm now 22. Eventually, I ended up moving back in with him..and his grandmother. Now. Since we've been back together, I guess my attitude towards him as gone down hill. I know I'm a brat sometimes, but its really hard to keep my cool around him. Anyways, on the break (I hate admitting this part) I ended up going out to the bar with a couple of our mutual friends, and a little thing happened between me and his ex-drummer. Mind you.. before me and my boyfriend got together, i dated this drummer about 2 years before. I told my boyfriend about this..and he accepted it although he does consider this cheating. IDK what to consider it since we weren't together "technically"..or maybe i'm just saying that 'cos i feel bad..idk. So now we are back together, right, and he says everythings fine, but when he jokes, his jokes are calling me "whore, cunt, slut, bitch, loner, loser..and ect." I, however, get highly upset. I've mentioned to him a couple times and he says I have no sense of humor. My mother yells at me for taking it because I am a blunt person, and speak my opinion with any other person but him. I've recently been just "dealing" with things. Another friend of his tells me I shouldn't put up with it 'cos I deserve more...but his friend has this thing for me, so I figure he's just saying what I wanna hear. So ok, am I overreacting when I ask him not to call me those names? Is this normal for every relationship? and I guess what the heck should I do if things continue? Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Great. Another silly girl in love with a loser. Link to post Share on other sites
Pfiend101 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 dump this loser. What is attractive about this guy? Do you like being abused mentally? **** like this makes me wonder why an honest hardworking guy with his own place and great career isnt getting laid constantly. Maybe I should move back home. Link to post Share on other sites
Ay Diesel T Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 No you're not wrong for being upset. I think your boyfriend needs to grow up, and learn how to speak to a lady. Well, nobody deserves to be spoken to like that really. I do believe, that your boyfriend is upset deep down inside that you messed around with his ex-drummer. This is probably the source of all the name calling. This sounds like a very toxic relationship, and the both of you don't deserve the treatment you give each other. You cause you're basically dealing with verbal abuse. Him, cause he's basically dealing with emotional abuse. You don't deserve a guy who's gonna talk to you that way, and he doesn't deserve a girl who's gonna milk all the attention from his friends, and mess around with them as well. All of you need a revamp on life. His friends included. Link to post Share on other sites
Intricategirl Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 He called you the C word and you want to know what to do? I don't know. I mean, the moment has already passed for throwing something heavy at his head. Well, first you start with getting some self-esteem. Then you dump him (bothering to tell him is completely optional). Then you never, ever speak to him again. And finally, you wait to get in a relationship until you can do it without living together with someone in a family member's basement, and not sleep with their _____ while on a break. And this is the very sarcastic way of saying that you already know he crossed the line, but you want someone else to actually make the call. And if you can't automatically pull the plug when someone treats you so disrespectfully, you need to take some time off dating and get some perspective as to why you could make a single excuse for that. You cheated. You shouldn't have. But if he can't get over it, that doesn't mean he gets a free pass to treat you like garbage. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I don't see anyone would stick up with this. Anyway how about dishing him back his own crap? See, how that works out. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 First of all, you were in no way "cheating" on him with the drummer. Secondly, you are being manipulated, and you are accepting it. That last part is the problem. In brief, you do not want to date (or even bang) a guy who would manipulate you so. Just because you may not be aware of this yet doesn't make it any less true. Do whatever it takes to break free of this guy and then you'll be available to pursue someone truly worthy of your time and attention. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 He called you the C word and you want to know what to do? I don't know. I mean, the moment has already passed for throwing something heavy at his head. This can get you arrested and rightfully so. She left quite a bit to the imagination with "a little thing happened". I have a pretty good idea, though. If anything her boyfriend needs to get some self confidence and kick her ass through the uprights. Link to post Share on other sites
Ay Diesel T Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 aaaa never mind lol Link to post Share on other sites
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