My gf criticizes herself and talks about leaving

[CodenameD]

Ok so me and my present gf recently started going out. We realized we were attracted to each other for a lot of reasons and she cares about me like crazy. I was sick recently and she constantly texts me about whether or not I'm taking medicines or not or if I'm careful about myself etc etc. We don't live in the same town but we do meet in the same college.

 

She often asks me what would I do If she leaves. I ask her not to say stuffs like that and she says she was only kidding. She also often ask if I'm happy with her and I reply yes.

 

Last night she texts me and tells me she things I'm a really nice guy but she is not so nice like me. She claims to have a horrible past and considers herself the embodiment of bad luck. She is saying this on the basis of what other people told her and how she was hurt in the past from a lot of people she trusted. I still don't know entirely about it yet. So she tells me that when she talks of leaving its because she things she will tangle me up with her 'bad-luck' aura. I told her that all person got good and bad sides. No person is truly bad or truly good. She asks me to forget about it and go to sleep. She still loves me a lot and I know although she is not serious about leaving, she will end up hurting both of us if she did.

 

Today we are supposed to meet up at college again. I am planning to inspect her past today and find out what caused this complexity in her. I want to get through her mental barriers and fix the dark sides of her mind.

 

Any advices? Like how to get into her mind? And pass the message across her mind that I like her the way she is and she is not what she calls herself?

[dispatch3d]

don't delve into all the negatives of her past. You'll just resurface negative emotions. Leave it be.

 

If someone is (currently) being really negative towards her I might talk about that. Otherwise I'd just have fun. If she wants to talk about negative things that happened in her past I'm sure she'll bring it up. I also wouldn't talk about stuff like that in a public setting.

 

your use of the word fix kinda worries me. I wouldn't try to fix anything. There is nothing wrong. She has to just accept the bad things that happened to her and move on.

[Mrlonelyone]

Do you remember the movie Forrest Gump? Remember when Forrest proposed to Jenny?

 

 

Jenny didn't think she was good enough for Forrest. Your girl is like Jenny. She needs to work through whatever's on her conscious and she may or may not get herself together. If not it's her loss not yours.

[mtber75]

She have self esteem issues! She will just brag you into her dark, pitful world if you guys get serious! She will be a constant emotional baggage for you! She needs a shrink...Seriously. Just LEAVE!

[CodenameD]

don't delve into all the negatives of her past. You'll just resurface negative emotions. Leave it be.

 

If someone is (currently) being really negative towards her I might talk about that. Otherwise I'd just have fun. If she wants to talk about negative things that happened in her past I'm sure she'll bring it up. I also wouldn't talk about stuff like that in a public setting.

 

your use of the word fix kinda worries me. I wouldn't try to fix anything. There is nothing wrong. She has to just accept the bad things that happened to her and move on.

 

You were right. I let her speak and instead of going to class, we just spend some time hanging out. She seemed to enjoy my company always. That cheered her up.

 

From what she said, every friend she trusted betrayed her. And so she doesn't like to keep much friends. When her friends left, she had the tendency to blame herself for it. I told her to leave the past in the past and start thinking about a fresh future.

 

I hope she is slowly able to finally move on and get some positive outlook in life.