90 day online dating trial run

[alexlakeman]

Ok, I'm going to do it.. after telling myself I was taking a break from online dating (hmm, I say that every 90 days, lol), as much as i'm broke, I miss the whole game. I've been off of it for about a month and last date (with the "butt dialing" chic) was 2 weeks ago..

 

This will be my adventure / status thread (ok, so I copied a female user on here , tigress or ? something like that )..

 

Oh, plus V-day is coming up, and after dumping the "thinks she deserves me to pay for her Vegas trip" lady, I'm flying solo for now ..

 

So here goes...THIS time, i am going to fine tune it even more so I don't end up with more dates than I can afford.

 

One thing I learned form playing around with this online dating thing is you can't milk it too long just talking to them on the phone; email, get #, talk, meet with a couple days..

 

Be back ... this is it, the last 10 months flew by after my break up with the ex gf in March 2010, so no woman should worry about being a rebound.. The rebounds were the ones I dated the last 10 months...

 

I'm starting with a super clean slate, even getting an updated STD test next week ..I'll be just like a used Mercedes, CPO (CERTIFIED pre owned), lol..

 

By the way, I set up a Paypal account in case anyone wants to donate to my "online dating" account, JK

[xpaperxcutx]

Is there a fund for the girls you're going to meticulously play? I think they might need therapy afterwards.

[alexlakeman]

WTF, I'll recap the last batch of numbers / women I got a few weeks ago:

 

 

• The pilot - we talked, she went on vacation, got back last weekend, we texted twice, texted her the third time, no response; deleted her #.
  
• The brown haired realtor from South part of town - we had a great first - second convo; I was going out of town, texted her when I got back; called; no answer; deleted her #.
  
• The one from (hmm, trying to make up names so I can ID them, lol) , well the Puerto Rican - we had a decent convo, she was a tad few yrs older than me, I was skeptical on the pics; when she said she was Puerto Rican, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Deleted her #.. Nothing against Puerto Ricans, just not my thing.. see ahead.
  
• The "butt dialer" - I actually did like this girl, she was 3 yrs older than me, but very very very low mileage, she was impecable, small tight body, natural boobs so not too big for the body, perfect spanish / english.. I found out she was Puerto Rican, but grew up in Spain and US, so not a trace from her country... went well, until she "butt dialed" me while on another date ; end of that one..
  
• The one from the town I work in - super cute face and body, her English not too good, I do speak her native tongue, but English is my preference, so didn't call her back.
  

 

And here we are today; I stayed out of the dating game for 2 weeks.. FK, I sincerely wanted out for a few months...

 

Is there a fund for the girls you're going to meticulously play? I think they might need therapy afterwards.

 

Ha, ha.. Funny, lol.. I'm a changed man.. ..

[xpaperxcutx]

 

Ha, ha.. Funny, lol.. I'm a changed man.. ..

 

Your avatar says otherwise.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Your avatar says otherwise.

 

No kidding ... and every one of his avatars says the same thing.

[alexlakeman]

Ok, five emails sent....not random, but specific women that I had noticed recently with similarities.

 

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick... :bunny:

 

I'm stopping at 5 for now...hopefully I get a bite...

[alexlakeman]

Ok, Jan 29th.... ten emails sent.. I got two responses.. 20% return, for a guy, I am happy ... That's ten including the prior 5..

 

 

• subject 1 - we've been emailing for a couple days, just asked her for her #, we'll see..
  
• subject 2 - we emailed once each way, waiting for a response...
  

 

One thing I did this time, I paid match for the "read confirm" option.. it tells you if your target read her email or not.. I am deleting the profile 48 hours after they read it, so I can keep things cleaner on my profile..

 

I've found that on weekends, Sunday evenings are usually when you get the most hits.. Sat night? people are out, and Friday night as well...

 

An interesting observation, that always happens to me, when I get a response, I start dissecting the woman's profile / pictures; "should I continue talking with her", "should I delete her", "is she really that good looking"... I'm going through with it this time, lol..

 

We'll see...

[SunsetRed]

Why do you delete people's #s just because they don't respond to you right away? Honestly, that's not fair to you or the woman. You and all of the women you are meeting are on a dating site. It's safe to assume that all of you may be meeting lots of people and going out on lots of dates, thus all of you may be trying to work in all the calls/texts/dates you're having. Just because someone doesn't respond to your call/text rt away doesn't mean they are blowing you off, they might just be busy. Also a busy person is much better than a desperate, needy person.

 

Suppose you were getting to know several women at once (which you are) and all of them were texting/calling all day and you couldn't get anything done because of all the messages you had to return? You might take a day or 2 to get back to people just to space things out.

 

I just think you should be patient and don't toss out a potential prospect just because they aren't available at the exact time you want them.

[alexlakeman]

subject 1 - we've been emailing for a couple days, just asked her for her #, we'll see..

• subject 2 - we emailed once each way, waiting for a response...
  

 

One thing I did this time, I paid match for the "read confirm" option.. it tells you if your target read her email or not.. I am deleting the profile 48 hours after they read it, so I can keep things cleaner on my profile..

 

We'll see...

subject 1 - we went out on a date this past monday...

 

• First impression when she walked in? I was not thrilled.
  
• Convo? Hmm, whatever..
  
• Drinking? Doesn't like to drink...
  
• Just not the laughing / chemistry I like on a first date..
  

 

She called me back 2 days later, but I didn't answer.. scratch her off.

 

subject 2? She ended up being a teacher at school my friend's kids go to, we emailed back and fourth, NOT kidding, like 10 times, I couldn't get a phone #.. Finally said "phone or ?" .. and she felt presured, said she was just divorced less than a year ago, blah, blah, blah.. ." oh well ... we'll see if I hear back from her..

 

New one that responded to me - I emailed this other woman, and I ended up figuring she was my high school ex g/f! LOL... She doesn't look 1/2 bad, but back in high school she had a lot of miles, so now, I can imagine she is over the 100K miles, but definitely want to go out with her..

 

We had a date set up for tonight, but things didn't pan out.. She screwed up when she said "you know me, I wait for the guy to call me".. well, let her wait, as I am not calling her.. she'll call or text me, I am sure she is as curious as I am if we are going to sleep together after this long time or not..

 

Hmm, I interchanged emails with 1-2 others, but no #...I'm being very much pickier this time vs what I thought I was going to do, since subject 1, I didn't like.. I would've liked her if the sparks where flying, chemistry, etc.. I'll stick to my usual method , "physical attraction" first, plus chemistry..

 

Now, i have about another 10 emails out, so will report back at a later date..

 

Well, since the date with the high school ex gf didn't work out tonight, I am going out with a more recent ex gf, but nothing there, just having drinks

 

 

Why do you delete people's #s just because they don't respond to you right away?

I just think you should be patient and don't toss out a potential prospect just because they aren't available at the exact time you want them.

 

Well, online I send an email, wait 2-3 days after they read my email and delete. If I get the #, I call or text, no answer - they can respond, I'm not calling back, delete.

[redhead1]

OK... let me ask this. In all seriousness. I have been doing the online dating thing. In fact just posted a thread about this! lol.

 

Started talking with a few guys. One guy imparticular, switched to IM on yahoo, and for 2 days, fun! Got kinda hot and heavy... yes, I admit, pics were sent.. and then some more.... intimate fun.

 

What are the odds he will want to really go out? He is out of town for a couple weeks, but I'm curious if this will keep his interest, or see me as a slut and not really want to date...

 

I need a guys real opinion here.

thanks!

[alexlakeman]

Last 30 days recap:

 

In my area POF seems to have lots of activity. I got two #'s from there. and went out with both.

 

• The one in sales - We had great convo, we went out, real pretty face, but was wearing some type of sweater outfit, so throughout the night I really couldn't get a good look at her figure.. We had a nice date at happy hour, no gn kiss, she texted me when she got home, said it was great... We texted the next day. I was a little concerned about the figure, but she solved that for me, as she didn't respond to my text on the 2nd-3rd day after our date.
  
• The tall one - I think this one put she was shorter, plus had high as h)ll heels, lol.. plus she looked 5+ years older in person than in the pics.. Convo? S)cked.. I was dieing to get out of there.. Fortunately, she thought the same, as she didn't text nor call me either...
  

 

From match?

 

• School teacher with three kids - She was very pretty, great convo...but she said she was fat, real fat at one point, then I think I saw what was a big butt, but not too sure... then she mentioned she limited time to go out, as her ex rarely had the kids... We tried to go out last Friday, but , as she said, the ex didn't pick up the kids..I invited her out again tonight, but couldn't b/c of the kids.. we seemed to have some good convo going; but I deleted her # today....
  
• The banker - we had a bunch of emails going back and fourth, then the phone call... omg, did she talk.. too much.. I thought I'd give it another shot, but forget it after the 2nd or 3rd call, I deleted her # as well, she just talks too much and it's all about her son , which is great, (I have kids too), but she didn't have anything else to talk about it seemed, lol.
  
• Misc - I talked to three others this past week:
  

1. I decided not to call her back (just wasn't feeling it on the phone call).

2. She decided not to respond to my call after our first call, lol..

so

no further contact.

3. The paralegal - Hmm, we've only talked once,

so

who knows..we'll see.

Overall , 60 days summary?

• Yes, there's definitely a pool of single people out there.
  
• Make sure their pics are current and not from the shoulders' up
  
• Umm, I've been able to keep the first dates, at about $17-$20; not bad, except the ones I enjoyed which we stayed longer and spent more of course.
  

The last thirty days, I've gone out with 3 first dates.. so I guess I'll keep repeating that cycle until I find one that there's chemistry both ways.

 

Happy Friday

[alexlakeman]

Ok, 2 weeks since last update...

 

• Single mom of two living right by my kids' school (very convenient, in route to work) - Great convo for about a week, we met, great convo, not fantastic, but very nice; a hug at the end of the night; she called me after all was fine, we texted the next a.m. like we did the prior week until mid day........... then she disappeared... never heard from her; I texted her two more times, and left it at that, so she had second thoughts... Her choice.. she did seem very wholesome, decent, long term potential.. oh well..
  
• The executive assitant w/daughter(BK) - this is the one I wrote another thread on, we had a heck of a clicking the first few days when we were talking and texting, the first date? One of the best I've have, got a little sexual...we talked the next day,saw each other for lunch the following week, but I just wasn't feeling it.. She was a little heavier than she portrayed on her profile, and what she was wearing on the first date hid it well.. Thought of just sleeping with her, but my like the Eminem song, "concience" my concience took over and told her I wasn't feeling it and didn't sleep with her.. didn't see ltr potential.
  
• The one living out of town (1 1/2 hour away) - I thought I had written about her on this thread , but I didn't . I had another thread on her (She butt dialed me while on another date, lol in Feb)... Anyway, I heard from her again, we went out on a date last Friday, went great... well, until my battery in the car died and we had to get a ride home, lol... She was cool with it, we've talked 2-3 times since, hopefully going out next week. She travels to my town every other weekend to visit family and moving down in 5-6 months.. Problem? She's 4 years older than me, but I tell you, she doesn't look it at all, very well taken care off, small, tight, no stretch marks, belly button ring, likes to party like me.. there's life ..
  
• Umm, who else?
  
• Oh, a school teacher I've been playing tag via phone and text for a few weeks, but she doesn't seem to "make time" to talk.. I'm as busy as her, but I do make time, so we'll play by ear.. her pics look very nice.. only talked once.. still might have some life.. we'll see.
  
• The hospital worker - we talked 2-3 times, texted, all was great, but I just wasn't feeling it when I saw her FB picture. I have a feeling her profile pic on match was not as recent.. never called her back.
  
• Who else?... well there are 2 new ones that we just started emailing a day or two ago, (a CFO/my line of work, and a country western girl that sounds like a real sweeheart, age is good on her.. the CFO is a year older than me, so we'll see.., but emails seem to click, I can see us talking about Crystal reports, P&L's, financials, lol).. we'll see..
  

So summary?

The one living 1 1/2 hrs away butt dialer has some life right now and I'd love to have an opportunity with the teacher that doesn't seem to make time to talk on the phone..

 

I am almost at my 90 day time frame..I'll have to total the # of women I've talked to , met, etc.. just for stats.. I feel comfortable in saying I have not played one woman, and the sex that has happened has been consensual with no promises...but definitely looking for a LTR...

 

Till next time .. I think I am missing one I went on a date with, uhh, forget it, loosing track..

[alexlakeman]

The executive assitant w/daughter(BK) - this is the one I wrote another thread on, we had a heck of a clicking the first few days when we were talking and texting, the first date? One of the best I've have, got a little sexual...we talked the next day,saw each other for lunch the following week, but I just wasn't feeling it.. She was a little heavier than she portrayed on her profile, and what she was wearing on the first date hid it well.. Thought of just sleeping with her, but my like the Eminem song, "concience" my concience took over and told her I wasn't feeling it and didn't sleep with her.. didn't see ltr potential.

 

She texted me about a week ago, we texted back and fourth.. but I'm just not feeling it..

 

The one living out of town (1 1/2 hour away) - I thought I had written about her on this thread , but I didn't . I had another thread on her (She butt dialed me while on another date, lol in Feb)... Anyway, I heard from her again, we went out on a date last Friday, went great... well, until my battery in the car died and we had to get a ride home, lol... She was cool with it, we've talked 2-3 times since, hopefully going out next week. She travels to my town every other weekend to visit family and moving down in 5-6 months.. Problem? She's 4 years older than me, but I tell you, she doesn't look it at all, very well taken care off, small, tight, no stretch marks, belly button ring, likes to party like me.. there's life ..

 

Well, we had scheduled a date for the Friday b4 last, I had to switch it to Sat mid week, she said it was fine, then she canceled on Sat... I told her to give me a call when she was back in town and deleted her #... no call yet, this coming weekend would be her weekend back in town... oh well..

 

Who else?

The match xoxo / banker woman - Went on a first date last Friday, it was ok, not spectacular, but she was physically very nice, but only had one drink the whole night, which is a fine alternative, based on her convo she was only looking for a ltr, I was the first date from match.. convo kinda dwindled down through the night, I can only hold up a convo if I am getting convo back, lol.. next day we texted, it had life, I called her Sunday, no return call, so proceeded to delete her # as well..

The Venezuelan woman - I go her #.. I texted back and fourth a couple times, called her once, no answer.. I guess I have to follow up on the phone call.. Women don't seem to get off their butts to call a man, oh well..

The mom - She's got a 2 yrs old son, sounded like a potential first date, but she said the last relationship ended b/c her bf wanted her to leave her son with her mom for a weekend getaway and she won't leave the kid.. HOW THE FK does she expect to date??? Not sure, but probably won't call her back..

 

Overall, I am reaching my 90 mark of online dating at the end of this month.. I've talked to a number of women, gone of about 1/2 of those for first dates; about 3-4 ended sexual, but didn't sleep with any of them...and got blown off by 3 that I was interested in, and I blew off a few more than that..

 

Either I've become very picky knowing I am looking for a LONG TERM or the pool of women is weak this first quarter of 2011...

 

On the pipeline now? Hmm, just the mom I mentioned b4 with the 2 yrs old, but probably not happening...

 

I've had more dates off of match, but POF does have life and I've gone on 4 dates from POF... Ok Cupid s)cks in my area... haven't bothered with it in months...

 

Wow, 90 days and not one ltr potential ... no wonder a lot of guys just go for FWBs .......

[alexlakeman]

Ok, close enough to the 90 Day mark. I already cancelled my Match subscription for now, and will be traveling the next couple of weeks, so for all intended purposes it's done, lol...

 

 

• The Mom (mentioned on the prior post), / The insurance girl (I'm beginning to forget who's who... - We went on a first date. As soon as I saw her, I didn't think it was going to fly... She was tall, slightly taller than me.. I think she cut 1" inch in her description, AND I added 1" to MY description, lol.. As we talked in the bar, I visualized it in bed, just wasn't going to work out.. did have a nice body, nicer looking than the pics... Convo / Chemistry? Hmmm, I had to jump to talking about the kids, b/c there just wasn't any convo coming back form her.. i was actually hoping she would wrap up at some point, I found it hard to wrap up; we had three rounds of drinks, said our good byes, and a week later no call to her and no call from her..
  
• The Cougar - well, I went out with someone older than me, 4 yrs older... GREAT chemistry / convo.. but overall? Hmm, not going to be LT.. by the second and third date, thing did get a little sexual at her place, no intercourse..but, probably won't work out, thinking of starting to ignore her calls in the next day or so; as she doesn't like the beach, not into the same music I am into, and has this slight separation on her front teeth... Man, I can't find the freaking "perfect" woman for me .. She's been married twice, no kids (not really good), and all relationships have been under ten years...
  
• The one who dated a stripper - I had brushed her off, but she texted me today; might as well go out on a date, we'll see... she seems kinda stuck up...
  
• Who's left? I have one more phone # from online, which I might contact this week...
  

 

Overall? I have to put some totals on the last 90 days on here.. BUT overall, satisfied on the activity. I didn't find the "right long term potential" match, but definitely went out with a lot of women, sex with a few, and 5 or so that didn't call me back... so good ROI on the $ spent..

 

Taking a financial break for a couple of months, but will jump back in at some point.

 

I tried to oversee looking for the ones that visually attracted me, but that didn't work. I was exploring if I would find someone with super chemistry , but wasn't quite my eye appeal; but that didn't work... ..

 

I also expanded my age range a bit, and I found out I could actually go under my age quite a bit, not bad.. but there are still a few hotties that are older than me, but no many...

[OliveOyl]

but, probably won't work out, thinking of starting to ignore her calls in the next day or so; as she doesn't like the beach, not into the same music I am into, and has this slight separation on her front teeth...

 

I can understand the beach and music thing, but slight separation on front teeth? That sounds really picky.

[alexlakeman]

Ok, my match 90 day subscription expired in April. I've been toying with POF since then..

 

 

• iram / brunette / paralegal - Last person I got the # from Match, we talked on and off for 2 weeks, I was traveling, texted a few times... when I got back I left her a voice mail.. no call back.. text her, no response.. I deleted her #. I got a text from her last week to join her for a drink(2 wks after we last spoke). No caller id showed up but based on the history of the prior texts I knew it was her.. I just said "who's this?" , she sent an "LOL", and never hear back from her.. oh well.. and this one did have a full body shot pic
  
• The singer - This one was fishy, as she didn't have a full body pic, just to below the chest. I had asked for a full body pic, but nothing.. There was some convo on the phone.. we met this past Friday.. she was too wide at the hips.. I mean wide.. she was real pretty though, but no real chemistry anyway... super nice though, oh well..
  

 

I have to tally up my numbers for this period..

 

I learned :

1. Full body pic or nothing

2. Ask how old the pics are

3. Probe further via email on common likes / dislikes..

4. ALWAYS go for the worst picture, not the one she looks the nicest.

 

I can understand the beach and music thing, but slight separation on front teeth? That sounds really picky.

 

Well, it was a little more than slight, but I guess they didn't put braces on her when a kid.. NOT making fun of her...

[MsSunflower]

Wow, you are picky. I wouldn't be surprised if you never find the right woman for you.

 

Sheesh!

[alexlakeman]

Wow, you are picky. I wouldn't be surprised if you never find the right woman for you.

 

Sheesh!

 

OMG, you must have felt really strong about that opinion.. You're first post on here on my thread!! :bunny:

 

LOL

 

Yeah, I'm picky.. I rather not date someone until the next best one comes along...

[BlueRaven84]

That's an insanely high reply percentage you have. You're doing something magical. You've done in 90 days what I can't in years.

 

I guess women do respond to men on dating web sites, but you need to have the right looks and approach.

[Raderick]

I'm really glad someone is having much more success than I am with online dating.

[fishtaco]

That's an insanely high reply percentage you have. You're doing something magical. You've done in 90 days what I can't in years.

 

I guess women do respond to men on dating web sites, but you need to have the right looks and approach.

 

Yeah, online is a dud for me. I stopped doing online long time ago. But good job alexlakeman. I like these type of threads of "what I did and what my results are".

[alexlakeman]

That's an insanely high reply percentage you have. You're doing something magical. You've done in 90 days what I can't in years.

 

I guess women do respond to men on dating web sites, but you need to have the right looks and approach.

 

Well, not as high as women get , but hey, it is what it is. That was on Match.

 

Since my match subscription has been over since April I have been using POF. Being a free site it lacks many of the features in Match up to and including good profiles / candidates. I definitely like Match better. Here some women just write 3-5 sentences so it is very difficult to really see if you are a match or not. Plus, I find it hard to find something to write to them on my first email, so I have definitely sent out much more emails to women who probably weren't an ideal candidate in the first place, so my rate of responses has been much less here. I've been tracking this one on my spreadsheet since you can't track who you've emailed before and it is embarrassing sending an email to someone you have already emailed, lol.

 

So let's see 60 days since April, more or less when I started POF:

 

• 95 emails sent
  
• 8 women responded
  
• 6 women I've talked to
  
• 5 dates (probably + one that I am going out with this week, which we're talking now).
  
• Out of the 5, I only liked 2 of them to go on second dates but the first looked different the second date, lol, which I didn't like, and the other, she went "poof", so I guess I wasn't her type.
  

So some people might say the return is not worth it, some might say it's too much time, some might say women are just playing, etc.. but I would have never met 95 women at bars in such a short time period.

[alexlakeman]

OK, June 5th was the prior update.. today is June 12th..

 

This week, still being a cheap azz and on the free pos site pof... I sent out , umm, 15 emails, got back a response from

 

• The beach attorney - We talked, she listed her ethnic background as "european".. I asked her once we talked and she said her parents were from Cuba, but her ancestors were from Europe and she was born in the US, so she considered herself "European" .. what a crock of shilt, lol.. Anyway, I talked to her 1-2 other times.. ummm, oh , then on the second phone call after I asked her what her age was (I saw it online duhhh) she said her age was xx; 3 yrs OLDER than what she listed online.. Deleted her #, two strikes against her: 1. Stuck up about her background and 2. BS about the age..
  
• The consultant East of the hwy - We talked a couple times, but she didn't seem to be into it, although she did answer my calls. We were to meet up last week, but she said she had to postpone it, then called and thought I would be available within 30 minutes.. WTF?? I told her we should talk a little more b4 meeting.. never heard from her and I deleted her #.
  
• The South American - She didn't really speak the language here in the US, although I am fluent in her language.. deleted her #
  
• The seperated american one - We'll see.. Just got her # tonight, haven't talked..just texted tonight...
  

 

I'm dieing to get back on match

[Mimi99]

Alexman, I too am on an online dating site. I'm very picky as well, but Man!!! you're really really picky. I'm just curious, what are you looking for in a woman? It seems like you don't give these women a chance at all, and if ethnicity is very important to you, why don't you just screen them before meeting up?

[alexlakeman]

Yes, I know what I want, but not picky. I know I can attain it b/c I've had it all before many times. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for perfection, but the issues are always:

1. Pics don't match or pics weren't clear and now I am standing in front of some one that is over weight.

2. No convo on the phone, so I don't bother pursueing the date; maybe I should (ie talked to one last night that there was really no convo, and I know it's not me).

3. When we talk on the phone I find out they either don't like the beach / water / out doors, don't like the same music I like, or the same social activities I like.

 

Believe me, I typically try to ask those questions while emailing b4 getting their phone #, but it's really hard to just sit there and send them "questions" when you are trying to make small talk.. and sometimes THEY are the ones that push to talk on the phone quicker.. I rather much find all the above via email..

 

We'll keep trying.. I am emailing 3 now, so we'll see how that goes. One I went back and looked at her pics again, so I might delete her..so I'll have 2 candidates.

 

I'm in no rush, I just don't want to date someone until the "right" one comes along.. I am sure the women would appreciate that.