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I'm a regular chatty cathy, except when it comes to 'feelings'


aquaria127

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I'm so worried that I'll repeat my past mistakes of being flighty and not wanting to commit with a guy who likes me a lot. and I like him, too. I wasn't really sure where to post this.

 

We met in person almost a year after we talked for work over the phone numerous times. It was all business, but he recently told me he had a crush ever since he saw my picture somewhere. He tried to make a pass the first time we went out for a beer then i didnt call him for a couple months (I was trying to transition from being 'boyfriend-girlfriend' to 'friends' with a guy I was in a kinda similar LDR with). We met again way later and got along famously, for about 2 months. A month ago he moved to LA to get a job in the biz. If in 2 months he doesn't find a job he'll be back here. he's handsome and has a nice smile and laugh. but, kind of short, overweight and a hairy chest. not really what I would go for had I seen him just randomly somewhere. he doesn't bring up my acne scars or that I'm pathetically thin because I'm a workaholic and sometimes forget to eat 3 squares a day. I know it's not right to judge on the physical but it's kind of a thing.

 

He says that I am the first woman he had sex with and who he really cares about. It's a new experience for him. I don't want to screw things up because I don't trust myself to say some things out loud. for example, I haven't actually agreed to be his "girlfriend" I really like him a lot. I also know my tendency not to want to commit.

 

We talk at least twice a week. He said he didn't realize how much he liked me until he moved away, and wants to call me his girlfriend and for me to call him my boyfriend. Its good to talk about politics, movies, food, family, travel.... but when it gets to personal matters between us, I can't even say a word! I'm not sure what to do. every time we talk, I can tell he's becoming more serious. He's way more candid and sometimes I feel overwhelmed. grr! I don't know what to do! can anyone help?!

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Is how I get when it comes to circumstances of confession or just plain truth. I feel of relation to this scheme, because in some small way.. some part of me just doesn't want to say the wrong thing.. But then when a convo. has passed on.. you feel like.. "dam" I should have said, but I could have done, etc.

 

I guess it just takes time & 'experience' of getting used to expression of what wants to be said by you the person.

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