jean-luc sisko Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I find that I often get attracted to married women. Of course, healthy humanity says that pursuing anything with them is wrong. But I often find myself thinking of some women (who are married) a lot. There is this one woman at work who is a kind of acquaintance, but I find her attractive and don't want to pursue due to the point in the first sentence of the paragraph. Is this a normal feeling? Link to post Share on other sites
2010_Sorry Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Are afraid of commitment? Married women pose no threat. Link to post Share on other sites
Yer_Blues Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I find that I often get attracted to married women. Of course, healthy humanity says that pursuing anything with them is wrong. But I often find myself thinking of some women (who are married) a lot. There is this one woman at work who is a kind of acquaintance, but I find her attractive and don't want to pursue due to the point in the first sentence of the paragraph. Is this a normal feeling? You are not entitled to normal feelings. It's not your right. Link to post Share on other sites
Seamless74 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I find that I often get attracted to married women. Of course, healthy humanity says that pursuing anything with them is wrong. But I often find myself thinking of some women (who are married) a lot. There is this one woman at work who is a kind of acquaintance, but I find her attractive and don't want to pursue due to the point in the first sentence of the paragraph. Is this a normal feeling? Why are you saying its not my right? I want a relationship with women I am attracted to. Your post is not explaining why it is that i should be denied such things.. If you really believe that why dont you explain why i cannot not have the relationship i desire.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 (edited) Well jokes aside, I feel guilty for feeling attracted to married women. I even feel like I want to have sex with them, and it makes me feel bad. Are afraid of commitment? Married women pose no threat. My sense of ethics and humanity tells me otherwise. Edited January 3, 2011 by jean-luc sisko Link to post Share on other sites
mo mo Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Don't feel bad. I used to only go after women in relationships. I just felt like talking to them was much more natural. I grew tired of having to impress single women all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Well jokes aside, I feel guilty for feeling attracted to married women. I even feel like I want to have sex with them, and it makes me feel bad. My sense of ethics and humanity tells me otherwise. Find out what it is about married women that makes you feel like you want to pursue them. Are they safer or more risky in your perception? As soon as you find out what the payoff is for wanting this (aside from getting laid) you can work on the issue. either you have to give up your viewpoint or your ethics. I vote for giving up your viewpoint. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 LOL, my most current 'example' is a legally divorced woman who is still sleeping (having sex) with her exH, dating other men and still entertaining desires of 'getting back' with said exH. A wonderful example of my theory that women are truly single for about ten seconds. Topically, my experiences with married women as an OM cause me to opine it is their 'aura' which attracts men far and wide. Within the 'safe' haven of their M, they taunt and titillate men, wantonly wielding their sexual power, something single women are more selective with. Men with strong boundaries resist; in the past I had weak/ill defined boundaries and often succumbed to their charms. Lately, with stronger boundaries, resistence is easier. OP, *accept* that feelings of attraction to *anyone* can be normal; healthy is processing those feelings in accordance with your boundaries of behavior and morality. *Act* on those feelings in a way which is positive for you. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 LOL, my most current 'example' is a legally divorced woman who is still sleeping (having sex) with her exH, dating other men and still entertaining desires of 'getting back' with said exH. A wonderful example of my theory that women are truly single for about ten seconds. Topically, my experiences with married women as an OM cause me to opine it is their 'aura' which attracts men far and wide. Within the 'safe' haven of their M, they taunt and titillate men, wantonly wielding their sexual power, something single women are more selective with. Men with strong boundaries resist; in the past I had weak/ill defined boundaries and often succumbed to their charms. Lately, with stronger boundaries, resistence is easier. OP, *accept* that feelings of attraction to *anyone* can be normal; healthy is processing those feelings in accordance with your boundaries of behavior and morality. *Act* on those feelings in a way which is positive for you. Good luck but I don't want to interfere in a relationship, or potentially break up a marriage. Life is weird since every choice has a consequence. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 That's a really great thing to communicate to a married woman who 'hits' on you and whom you find attractive. I've done exactly that in a few cases over the last year or so. 'I find you attractive, your attention flattering and, considering you're married, acting on that to be unhealthy. I suggest directing your attraction vibes in your husband's direction' One consequence could be the woman merely directs her 'tools' in the direction of another man; another could be that communication serves as a wake-up call to her making healthier choices for herself and her M. I've experienced both. Regardless, my boundaries remained healthy. I have no control over what women do Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts