ICE911 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Hi, Long story short.... Just met this new gf 1 month ago. She was texting me all the time and was always quick to reply with really sweet stuff. We hung out quite alot during the first 2.5 weeks. However, lately she barely texts me and takes forever to reply (same day though) I don't know if she is losing interest or what. The other day I didnt text her all day and was not going to until she texted me. I finally got a text at 5:00 pm that sad "Hi". Am I reading way to much into this? Should I start distancing myself and just let her initiate? I don't want her to think that I'm not interested but I don't want to come off as needy. Seems like shes gone from hot to cold. Need some advice please. Link to post Share on other sites
mecoolhaha Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 same **** happened to me, I think mine lost interest, sorry bro if thats what happened with you. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeIsGreat Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Every think about simply asking her? If you ask in a nice, non-threatening, adult way it may impress her. At the very least, you'll know where you stand. Link to post Share on other sites
youngskywalker Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Had the EXACT same thing happen a couple months ago. My advice is to NOT distance yourself unless she knows where you're at in the relationship. If you're still in the cat and mouse game then keep it going as best you can. If you've told her how much you like her and want a relationship then you can start to give her space and let the chip fall where they may. Nothing you can do with a girl who is losing interest. Sorry man, it sucks. If you think this girl is worth it then go for it with everything you got. If she rejects you then wipe the dust off your feet and move on immediately. Just don't play stupid games. When you do that misunderstandings happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ICE911 Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 I just don't want to be the only one initiating. It's starting to piss me off. And if I do ask her why she will just get even more distant. I just don't know if I keep a bit of space if that will help her come to me more often or if I should just initiate all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
walktheline Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Wow, you could be describing me exactly where I'm at in a relationship. Same thing, less and less contact it feels like and I'm kind of at a loss to where it started to go that way. I'm waiting to see if she calls or texts me like she said she was, but I'm not holding my breath. I guess I'll go the 3 strike rule, if it keeps happening where I have to initiate the contact and she doesn't seem to want to follow through then I'm guessing it's over. I am the same way though, not wanting to appear needy, but not wanting to let it slip away if she's waiting for me to initiate all the time now. Really sucks cause I was starting to like her too. Link to post Share on other sites
oliviahopkins Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Hi, Long story short.... Just met this new gf 1 month ago. She was texting me all the time and was always quick to reply with really sweet stuff. We hung out quite alot during the first 2.5 weeks. However, lately she barely texts me and takes forever to reply (same day though) I don't know if she is losing interest or what. The other day I didnt text her all day and was not going to until she texted me. I finally got a text at 5:00 pm that sad "Hi". Am I reading way to much into this? Should I start distancing myself and just let her initiate? I don't want her to think that I'm not interested but I don't want to come off as needy. Seems like shes gone from hot to cold. Need some advice please. Hi, i'm new here. I've been the GF who's lost interest, but i can help. You have two choices...1. let her go and learn from your mistakes (constant contact is a death blow), 2. you can raise her interest level (get busy, contact seldom, but just enough to keep her curious). The second choice will only work if her interest level isn't below 50%. Trust me...this works. Good look Link to post Share on other sites
rhonian Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Its probably "the chase" guys, they love to be chased. It validates the relationship. Chivalry is NOT dead! If you have feelings for her, chase her and once you feel shes somewhat hooked do things that no other guys will. Unique things.....just tryn to help. Link to post Share on other sites
walktheline Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Hi, i'm new here. I've been the GF who's lost interest, but i can help. You have two choices...1. let her go and learn from your mistakes (constant contact is a death blow), 2. you can raise her interest level (get busy, contact seldom, but just enough to keep her curious). The second choice will only work if her interest level isn't below 50%. Trust me...this works. Good look Ok, I like this advice, but from a GF standpoint what is seldom contact? A text a day just to say "hi" or what. I too felt like we were having way too much contact early on the relationship talking every night and now it suddenly dropped off. Does she want me to "chase her" or just be more laid back and let things go? Link to post Share on other sites
oliviahopkins Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Hi, I'm new here. I am one of those GF's who lost interest before. The way i see it, you have two choices. #1 is to walk away and learn from your mistakes. #2 stay in the situation, but raise here interest level. As for #1, your mistake is having constant contact with the text messages and everything...instant turn off. As for the second thing, you can put some distance b/n the two of you. Not physical distance, but be busy and only call every once in awhile. She'll wonder what you are doing. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author ICE911 Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 I like your advice. Raising her interest level is a must. My gf never calls and will only text for communication. What's up with that? Also, is a good guideline...to text her only every other day? What's up with the gf not replying to my text until hours later? Feels like a game. She is 35 and I am 28 Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Gals love to be "chased", but they also love "Mr. Mysterious". Time to turn the tails and become "Mr. Mysterious". Make her chase you for awhile. If she likes you, she will wonder what you're doing and why haven't you called/texted. She'll contact you. If she doesn't, well then time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
walktheline Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I like your advice. Raising her interest level is a must. My gf never calls and will only text for communication. What's up with that? Also, is a good guideline...to text her only every other day? What's up with the gf not replying to my text until hours later? Feels like a game. She is 35 and I am 28 Wow, you're like a mirror of me with regards to your situation. I'm 36 she's 24 (she thought I was younger and I thought she was older) I went from regular texts and phone calls to a sudden drop off of communication. I work crazy hours as a paramedic and she works at a sheriff's office and is a full time student, so that doesn't exactly help things. She was regularly calling and texting, but not any more, so I'm taking the play it cool and lay low advice for a couple more days after that I think I'm going to start looking else where for someone to date. I guess thanks for all the advice even though this wasn't my thread Link to post Share on other sites
youngskywalker Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Hi, i'm new here. I've been the GF who's lost interest, but i can help. You have two choices...1. let her go and learn from your mistakes (constant contact is a death blow), 2. you can raise her interest level (get busy, contact seldom, but just enough to keep her curious). The second choice will only work if her interest level isn't below 50%. Trust me...this works. Good look That's the best advice you're going to get. If you've expressed interest in her then go with #1. If not, then go with #2. Don't make this too hard man. I know it sucks but when a girl is into you it's as easy as apple pie. In fact, I just set up a third date tonight. This is how the conversation went. me- what is your schedule like this week? her- why, do you want to do something tomorrow night? me- sure! her- ok! That's how it's supposed to happen if the girl likes you. But, I can tell you I've been in your shoes many times. Play your cards right and maybe something will happen but just don't linger too long or you'll become a parasite to her and blow any chance you might have had. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ICE911 Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 Any luck with your gf making contact? Link to post Share on other sites
youngskywalker Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Any luck with your gf making contact? Contact is a non-issue when two people like each other. You're like magnets. Sure maybe a few days will go by but eventually contact is made and it doesn't matter who does it. When I have a relationship thats working I don't keep score of who initiated last, how long it took them to respond, ect ect. It just happens and there is nothing in the world thats going to stop it. Eventually interest might wane but you deal with that when the time comes. In your case, you have a low interest girl on your hands. Best thing you can do is start to move on. That doesn't mean you can't take another shot at it but chasing her will yield negative results. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ICE911 Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 Contact is a non-issue when two people like each other. You're like magnets. Sure maybe a few days will go by but eventually contact is made and it doesn't matter who does it. When I have a relationship thats working I don't keep score of who initiated last, how long it took them to respond, ect ect. It just happens and there is nothing in the world thats going to stop it. Eventually interest might wane but you deal with that when the time comes. In your case, you have a low interest girl on your hands. Best thing you can do is start to move on. That doesn't mean you can't take another shot at it but chasing her will yield negative results. _______________________________________________________ I shouldn't be 2nd doubting myself and just take charge with no fear and quit trying to play a game. I mean if this girl had no interest she would not respond to any text I send. Also, I just asked her out to dinner tomorrow night and she said "sure". I should almost just call her only when I know I have time to see her and if she yes great and if she says no ....then i'll just leave it at that. That way i'm not coming off as needy by sending pointless texts throughout the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ICE911 Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 hmmm she is 35... she probably hates txting. I would date a girl who is 25 if you want to txt a lot. You also sound needy just by the fact that you are on here asking for advice. Good luck it all might be in your head hard to know, trust your gut ------------------------------------------------------------- I actually do not like to text alot and would rather just get to the point and arrange a date. However, I do like to receive a couple of texts a day for no reason. I will admit to being a little on the needy side. Part of me posting this is to get some advice on controlling the neediness. My gut says quit waiting for her to text or ask me out and just ask her out or text her when I feel like it. That way if I get the answer "yes" there is no issue and if I keep getting shut down then I can take that as my hint to "hit the road and quit initiating anything". Any other advice on controlling the needyness" Link to post Share on other sites
youngskywalker Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 (edited) I just asked her out to dinner tomorrow night and she said "sure". I should almost just call her only when I know I have time to see her and if she yes great and if she says no ....then i'll just leave it at that. That way i'm not coming off as needy by sending pointless texts throughout the day. Do that and you'll be well on your way to success. Yes, stop with the pointless texing. It's the most useless way to attempt to start a relationship. You have another shot with this girl tomorrow night so you're lucky. Go out and have a great time. Set up another date at the end of the night or ask her what her schedule is and tell her you'll call her to make plans for whatever day she said she has free. In the mean time don't text her at all. It's not even remotely necessary. You're starting with a clean slate after tomorrows date so take advantage of it. Edited January 3, 2011 by youngskywalker Link to post Share on other sites
walktheline Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I guess I'll throw my update in here too. I still haven't heard from my girl yet, said she'd text me yesterday morning and didn't hear anything the rest of the day and nothing today either. Honestly, I think we had way too much contact talking every day on the phone since she lives an hour away and maybe she just needed a little space which is cool. She's also back home where all her friends are at now and she is a busy person with a new job and homework and school starting back up again. I'm going to text her tomorrow night and say "hi" and ask her out for dinner this weekend and see what happens. I like her and I think she still likes me, so we'll see. I too am a little needy I guess, just like the OP, it's something that I am trying to work on as a person and let things come as they are. Thanks for the advice particularly skywalker. I'm making my way back into the whole dating scene after a long absence and can use any advice I can get... Link to post Share on other sites
no_clue Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 yes im having this same thing happen to me thats why i even signed up here. We were talking everyday now its only occasionaly she texts me. I had to confront her about it then she proceeded to txt the next day. But I think we like each other enough we dont have to contact all the time hopefully Link to post Share on other sites
walktheline Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Well I texted her before she went to work and asked her out for dinner this weekend, we had kind of been planning that anyways before she stopped texting and calling. So we'll see, she works till 4 pm and she's never texted me from her job before, so I'm hoping I'll here from her tonight. Still my gut says I won't. It would just be nice if she did call or text just to say that she's not interested anymore. As much as we talked and went out I cosidered us at minimum friends though I was definitely liking her more than that, so be an adult and just tell me. I guess I hate being blown off and ignored. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ICE911 Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 Well I texted her before she went to work and asked her out for dinner this weekend, we had kind of been planning that anyways before she stopped texting and calling. So we'll see, she works till 4 pm and she's never texted me from her job before, so I'm hoping I'll here from her tonight. Still my gut says I won't. It would just be nice if she did call or text just to say that she's not interested anymore. As much as we talked and went out I cosidered us at minimum friends though I was definitely liking her more than that, so be an adult and just tell me. I guess I hate being blown off and ignored. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I know exactly how you feel. I swear some women have no respect and even though they say they are not playing games, it is exactly what they are doing. Is it to much for a women to say that they are not interested? I will be approaching the point in the next few weeks myself and asking the gf if we are on the same page and if not I will give her her space and then some. Apparently, for us nice guys we allow oursleves to get walked on. My date tonight just got blown off because of a prior family engagement that she had and completely forgot about. I told her I understood, but now am feeling like taking a step back big time. I guess w should stop texting them for a bit and almost start preparing to move on ....and I'm almost positive they will text us or call. Tonight I'm just gonna rent a movie "It Takes Two" which apparently is a good dose of comedy for the dating world. Basically, it sounds like the ball is in your gf court as well as mine. Time for them to step up. Link to post Share on other sites
walktheline Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I know exactly how you feel. I swear some women have no respect and even though they say they are not playing games, it is exactly what they are doing. Is it to much for a women to say that they are not interested? I will be approaching the point in the next few weeks myself and asking the gf if we are on the same page and if not I will give her her space and then some. Apparently, for us nice guys we allow oursleves to get walked on. My date tonight just got blown off because of a prior family engagement that she had and completely forgot about. I told her I understood, but now am feeling like taking a step back big time. I guess w should stop texting them for a bit and almost start preparing to move on ....and I'm almost positive they will text us or call. Tonight I'm just gonna rent a movie "It Takes Two" which apparently is a good dose of comedy for the dating world. Basically, it sounds like the ball is in your gf court as well as mine. Time for them to step up. Yeah I sometimes feel like I'm the definition of a "nice guy" even though I don't always act like it. Not sure I'd consider your date 'blown off' or anything, depending on what kind of family thing it was that can be really important to some people. And at least she sounds like she is trying, did you try and reschedule? And no feel good dating movies for me, Eff that crap. I only like watching those when things are going well. Go watch "Up in the Air". Enough movie recommendations I'll post another update if things change. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ICE911 Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 Do that and you'll be well on your way to success. Yes, stop with the pointless texing. It's the most useless way to attempt to start a relationship. You have another shot with this girl tomorrow night so you're lucky. Go out and have a great time. Set up another date at the end of the night or ask her what her schedule is and tell her you'll call her to make plans for whatever day she said she has free. In the mean time don't text her at all. It's not even remotely necessary. You're starting with a clean slate after tomorrows date so take advantage of it. ______________________________________________________ Apparently I don't have another shot tonight. I tried to call her to arrange a pick up time and she texted me 2 hours later saying she is so sorry but she forgot she had a dinner and movie date with her mom. WTF...this **** pisses me off. Her best friend told me she has no concept of time. Then the gf said she had to clean before her mom came and cook the dinner....and she would try and text me later when she is free. I can guarantee there will be no text. What do you think my next step should be? Just back off completely and let her chase me if she has any interest left? Link to post Share on other sites
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