Do I have unrealistic expectations in dating?

[apparent_dingbat]

Met a guy a week ago, seemed to click as much as 2 people can at that early stage. He was the one to initiate contact with me from the start. After several conversations, he very boldly indicated that we should meet in person this weekend, to which I said that sounded like a good idea. We live about 35 minutes apart from each other, I live a little ways out of the city that he lives in. He already made it be known that when we do meet up tonight, it will be me either driving to pick him up, or meeting at a place (restaurant/lounge) near where he lives, basically because he "doesn't want to drive all the way out where you live." And I should somehow have no problem driving that same distance to him? What is the deal here?

 

Am I out to lunch in believing that if a guy asks me out, that he should be the one to come out to my neck of the woods to meet me? (someplace public of course) I could be wrong but I have this feeling that this is a guy who expects people to confirm to him, doesn't want to go out of his way for others and isn't exactly the poster child for chivalry. Ladies, what do you think? And guys, if you asked a woman out would you have a problem driving to see her?

 

For the record, I believe in "fair is fair" so had I been the one to ask him out, then I would believe it no big deal to drive to where he is to meet him.

 

THanks

[yes]

it depends on the details.

 

i, for e.g., live in suburbs of a city, so if i have a date with someone who lives in the city, i have no problem with driving down, because all the fun happens in the city anyway, and it'd take him over an hour to pick me up and drive back down (multiply that by two b/c i have to get home, that's around 2.5 hrs of driving for him - nah, i'd rather drive for an hr myself).

 

so my point is - if the subject of the date is closer to where he lives, asking you to drive down sounds fine. if it's just a hang-out date, i.e. it could be done anywhere at all - he certainly should offer driving to where you live.

 

good luck,

-yes

[clia]

He already made it be known that when we do meet up tonight, it will be me either driving to pick him up, or meeting at a place (restaurant/lounge) near where he lives, basically because he "doesn't want to drive all the way out where you live."

 

He's got a lot of nerve. If he's not even willing to drive 35 minutes (which is nothing) on your first date, I can't see him changing his mind later on. Prepare for a lot of driving to see him should this relationship work out.

 

Am I out to lunch in believing that if a guy asks me out, that he should be the one to come out to my neck of the woods to meet me?

 

You aren't crazy at all. Of course he should come and pick you up or meet somewhere near you. You are the woman. He is supposed to be courting you. If it were me, I'd say very nicely that "No, that does not work for me" and then go find a guy who is willing to put in a little effort.

 

I could be wrong but I have this feeling that this is a guy who expects people to confirm to him, doesn't want to go out of his way for others and isn't exactly the poster child for chivalry.

 

I think you are right on. He also wants to see how little he can get away with. He wants to establish precedent of you coming to him, so he does not have to go to you. Don't let him do this...

 

P.S. I know a woman whose now husband (who she met online) used to drive TWO hours EACH WAY to see her when they were dating. He never, ever expected her to drive to him or meet him halfway. He even went and picked her up when he was cooking dinner for her AT HIS PLACE. Lots of driving. But see, men (generalizing) who are really interested and really like you are willing to do these kinds of things. I personally like that, but that's just me.