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Can you truly stay friends with someone after sleeping with them?


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Old 14th December 2010, 4:15 AM   #1
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Can you truly stay friends with someone after sleeping with them?

Is there a chance of keeping the friendship after something's happened between the two of you?
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Old 14th December 2010, 7:05 AM   #2
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NO.

Why would you choose to have an ONS with a friend and risk years of friendship for 25 minutes of bliss? Might as well just masturbate by yourself.
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Old 14th December 2010, 8:06 AM   #3
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I think you can.

But usually what happens is one of the friends is fine with going on as usual, while the other either wants it again, or begins to like you. That's when things get a bit awkward.
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Old 14th December 2010, 8:12 AM   #4
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Is there a chance of keeping the friendship after something's happened between the two of you?
Unlikely. But if there's enough attraction, you probably were never 'friends' in that sense in the first place.

But you can stay FWB, so nothing's lost.

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NO.

Why would you choose to have an ONS with a friend and risk years of friendship for 25 minutes of bliss? Might as well just masturbate by yourself.
This is just funny. I feel sorry for you.
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Old 14th December 2010, 8:14 AM   #5
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Not generally. At least not right away. I know some people who've become friends with FWBs or light exes (by which I mean it was never a LTR really) eventually. But none that have been friends, hooked up, and just kept steaming along.
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Old 14th December 2010, 12:24 PM   #6
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Unlikely. But if there's enough attraction, you probably were never 'friends' in that sense in the first place.

But you can stay FWB, so nothing's lost.



This is just funny. I feel sorry for you.
Again, I reiterate... I would never get into a sexual relationship with a friend because guess what, I respect them enough to not brand them my booty call.
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Old 14th December 2010, 12:25 PM   #7
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Sometimes.. I'm good friends with one ex though I do have to control some feelings here and there. It's a challenge but possible. I'm friendly with other exes but don't go out of my way to hang out with them. But we're in the same circle so end up hanging out occasionally. no bad blood. There's one that I've hooked up with on the rare occasion but she's a different bird. Then again I'm kind of a different guy too.
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Old 14th December 2010, 2:00 PM   #8
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i have a LT friend (10+ years), and we were FWB's. we are both happily married and we still keep in touch.

so yes, i can happen.
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Old 14th December 2010, 2:10 PM   #9
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If there are no real feelings involved for either party, yes, I think it's possible.
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Old 14th December 2010, 2:10 PM   #10
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yes you can still be friends if they were really a friend to begin with.
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Old 14th December 2010, 2:35 PM   #11
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Is there a chance of keeping the friendship after something's happened between the two of you?
Why not?

I'd assume that the two of you would just start dating.

The friendship would evolve.
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Old 14th December 2010, 2:46 PM   #12
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I've done that before in more than one occasion. But I've also had it blow up in my face. It takes two mature individuals that want to be friends and also put in the effort to do so.
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Old 14th December 2010, 5:26 PM   #13
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Well there was something there on his part a long time ago but im not sure how he really feels about me these days.

Before this all happened he said that it was hard for him to be around me because of the attraction and the history we have and he said that he didnt want to rekindle old feelings. But it didnt make sense because he said he didnt think he could feel that way for me again... if thats the case then it shouldnt be hard to stay friends right?

Anyway, after we slept together we've been keeping in touch... well he's the reason why we still talk. i dont ever initiate the contact, he does... i love it when i get random messages from him and i dont want it to stop. Im never the first to msg him, would that seem like i dont care? As 'friends' its ok for me to initiate sometimes right?

A few days after we had sex, i was out having coffee with a friend and we ran into each other and just said 'hey'... my friend said things seemed a little awkward between us and she thinks that we've crossed the line and we cant just stay friends...

I was thinking that the awkwardness could be from what happened... he came way too fast and when i say fast it was literally in and out. I didnt make a big deal out of it and i thought we got past that but i guess he didnt because he admitted that he has been pretty embarrassed since.

He went away for a wk and when he got back he messaged and asked if i was free on sat night and i messaged back and asked what time. He said he'd let me know. We made small talk as friends do and i ended my msg with just let me know... the weekend passed and i didnt hear from him so i let it go because we didnt really make concrete plans to hang out. But why ask someone if they're free if you dont really plan on hanging out?

its almost been 2 weeks and i havnt heard from him. Im too proud to msg first. Should i wait for him to make contact? i went out for lunch with a friend yesterday and we saw him walk past with his mom. I know he's one busy man but it takes a min to msg right? but then again..we're just friends so i shouldnt be expecting constant messages/calls?
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Old 14th December 2010, 5:32 PM   #14
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*shrugs* I've never had a problem with it.
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Old 14th December 2010, 6:40 PM   #15
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No. Just leads to too many issues.
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