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Dating a widower


longlaffer

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Its not easy. I have been very patient and understanding. My goal has been to bring some fun to his life and help him heal. I have patiently heard daily references to his wife and his 30 year marriage for 7 months.

 

Here are some problems as I see it:

 

He still lies to his 27 yo daughter about dating me

I am the only serious relationship since wifes death (1.5 yrs ago)

 

I would never go upstairs in his house since he has never parted with her belongings

 

I believe that his wife was committed to the marriage and family but they had no communication, passion or fun and THIS IS HIS HABIT. He thinks that worked for her. I think she just stayed in the marriage and got emotional gratification from kids and friends.

 

He has described himself as a heartless tin man. I wonder if that is just an excuse to relieve himself of accountability. He does tell me he loves me but he expresses little emotion.

 

How much time does he need? How much time do I give to this relationship? I would love for him to get therapy. Imagine going though life never feeling what others feel. (He said it).

 

He knows what I want and need. I don't want to waste time with a relationship going no where. Too old for that.

 

Any insight will be appreciated.

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