When did you decide to give up with online dating?

[EyeAlone]

I'm really getting fed up with online dating. I created my profiles on Match and OKC back in July and since then I have met 7 guys; 3 of them with whom I had at least a second date. Those were the good old days. Now I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. No one appeals to me. OKC is at the point where it's recommending men from different cities and even different states. If I lived in Podunk Town, USA, then I would understand. But I live in one of the largest cities in the country. One would think that odds are in my favor and I'd find someone on one of these dating sites in my city. Nope. Mind you, my only deal breakers when I'm skimming profiles are 1) smoking, 2) unemployed, and 3) no college degree. All of the guys I went on dates with were average-looking. As a matter of fact, I was never attracted to them based on their profile pictures alone, but based on their personality I decided to give them a chance.

 

I want to take down my profiles because it's so discouraging, but I keep having some stupid flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe someone worthy of my time and affection will find me there. But it sure doesn't seem like it.

 

So I just want to know how many days, weeks, months, or years people tried online dating until they eventually gave up.

[bobdole]

I canceled my account when I realized I could do and get better if I just "manned up" and approached women in person. In regards to gender ratio - OLD for men is ridiculous

[jerbear]

I've used online dating on and off for awhile. Most of the time I'm online and just looking. When I do see one that is interesting I would sign up and use a coupon. Once in awhile it would pan out and sometimes no. Oh well.

 

Sometimes I stop for a few months and just work on myself. One site it is just really annoying people, daily smokers, drinkers, no degree, all caps, bad grammer, etc...

 

When I'm taking classes I would just use the discounts when I get a chance.

[irc333]

Some never give up, or they ALWAYS come back....I know that some, on their repeat visitt to the site state, "Yeah I'm back again, just couldn't find any guys in my area" (She lives in PoDunk country)

 

and then she said she was on the site before and had been disappointed, so is now trying it again.

 

I remember emailing her a year ago, and figured I'd send her a message recently...even threw in a response to her recent complaint stating, "Well, mabye part of theproblem is you're too picky....ever consider the you can't really afford to be picky where you live?"

 

I was offering suggestions, ONLY because she was complaining. LOL

 

 

I'm really getting fed up with online dating. I created my profiles on Match and OKC back in July and since then I have met 7 guys; 3 of them with whom I had at least a second date. Those were the good old days. Now I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. No one appeals to me. OKC is at the point where it's recommending men from different cities and even different states. If I lived in Podunk Town, USA, then I would understand. But I live in one of the largest cities in the country. One would think that odds are in my favor and I'd find someone on one of these dating sites in my city. Nope. Mind you, my only deal breakers when I'm skimming profiles are 1) smoking, 2) unemployed, and 3) no college degree. All of the guys I went on dates with were average-looking. As a matter of fact, I was never attracted to them based on their profile pictures alone, but based on their personality I decided to give them a chance.

 

I want to take down my profiles because it's so discouraging, but I keep having some stupid flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe someone worthy of my time and affection will find me there. But it sure doesn't seem like it.

 

So I just want to know how many days, weeks, months, or years people tried online dating until they eventually gave up.

[Cee]

1st online attempt (Oct 2008 - May 2009): Did PoF (2 months), Match (6 months, ugh), and OKC (5 months).

 

At first, I thought online dating was cool. I was new to it and at first I was trying it out. Initially, it was fun meeting new people. By March, I started to burn out and felt like a failure. I was tired of meeting random people that I'd never encounter in my everyday life. A bad dating situation was the final straw and I deleted my profile.

 

2nd online attempt (June 2010 - Sept 2010)

 

After not dating for a year, I thought I'd give OLD another try. It was hard to find single men my age in my social arena so I was lonely. Went back to OKC and felt the hurt right away. A guy who was a little older (48) played me terribly. I should've known better. I fell into a depression & identified that OLD was bad for me. Deleted my account.

 

I'm on a break from all dating atm. When I feel ready, I'll try to meet people via things like meetup.com. I have a friend who is 41 and he's done well with that.

[EyeAlone]

I thought about trying a meetup.com group and I searched earnestly for a group that's interested in something that I am. I found a couple of groups but all of the members that actually go to events are 35+ years old, which is out of my age range. I felt really out of place despite having a similar interest. I don't know if that's the general trend at meetup.com or if that's just how it is in my city.

[just_some_guy]

I just shutdown my profile on a popular free dating site. It was only up for a couple of weeks, but I just couldn't handle all the traffic from the site. I'm in my 40's and looking around my age range which may have something to do with it. I went out with a few women from the site and I can tell you, women in their late 40's can be aggressive. I think I can understand what teenage girls feel like.

 

Guys in their 40's looking for much younger women don't seem to have as much response.

 

When I was a young man, I could walk around with hundred dollar bills stuck to my forehead and not get a second look. Guess I aged well.

[Cee]

I thought about trying a meetup.com group and I searched earnestly for a group that's interested in something that I am. I found a couple of groups but all of the members that actually go to events are 35+ years old, which is out of my age range. I felt really out of place despite having a similar interest. I don't know if that's the general trend at meetup.com or if that's just how it is in my city.

 

Younger people (in their 20s) are in a lot of meetup groups, but you won't see a mention of age. For example, in NYC, there is a meetup group for people who love dancing to electronic music. I don't feel out of place there, but people are younger than me (22-32). I'd never dream of dating anyone in that group, but they are so fun and friendly, I like going anyway.

[Confusedalways]

I've used online dating on and off for awhile. Most of the time I'm online and just looking. When I do see one that is interesting I would sign up and use a coupon. \

 

hahaha this is EXACTLY what I do!! I only sign up when someone catches my eye.. then I go out, I don't like them, and I delete it. Vicious circle.

 

I've decided to stop trying for awhile, anyway. All the men I've been out with [thankfully] have been really sweet guys- who I genuinely hope they find someone for them, but not exactly what I'm looking for.

 

I really can't get over with how forced and contrived it is, even though I've done it a couple times now. It all seems so interviewy

[Mattock5656]

I've actually tried online dating twice in a year time period, and both times I just say the hell with it and delete/disable. Frankly, trying to get females to actually meet with you at a coffee shop to try to get to know them is like fighting a giant grizzly bear naked in a random forest with a spoon as a weapon.

 

I felt pretty good overcoming the number one problem most men have and that is to actually get a female to respond. I would nearly mostly get all of them to respond but the second I ask if they would like to meet (in a non-creepy way) because you know no matter how much I type in this white chat box you NEVER know WHO I AM, they would disappear into the night. So, I try to ask to meet after 3 or 4 messages so we I can see if your legit human, and to see if your a waste of time or not. I put in what I put out. Many females want you to write novels to them, but whats the honest point? To the OP, not saying you are like this in any way, because you mention you actually give some men a chance to see their a personality which is good but I think online dating is a failure in general for both sexes. (At least for me)

 

Well, you probably heard the few that can actually make it work which is a very small number compared to the number of people who become disappointed with online dating. I think if people before us, could find someone without internet then we can do it too.

[irc333]

LOL very accurate description, Mattlock....lol

 

Yeah, they give you this, "I don't know if I'm ready yet" and at first I used to play along, and continue to chat with them more online, give it a little more time, then the weekend woudl approach, then I would feel it would be okay to ask again.

 

They still say,'Sorry, not ready", and then I'd just say, "Listen are we going to meet, or sit here forever talking online//email?"

 

Then they get mad and say, "Sorry, I don't like PUSHY men" they throw that card at ya.

And I say "Good riddance"

 

 

 

I've actually tried online dating twice in a year time period, and both times I just say the hell with it and delete/disable. Frankly, trying to get females to actually meet with you at a coffee shop to try to get to know them is like fighting a giant grizzly bear naked in a random forest with a spoon as a weapon.

 

I felt pretty good overcoming the number one problem most men have and that is to actually get a female to respond. I would nearly mostly get all of them to respond but the second I ask if they would like to meet (in a non-creepy way) because you know no matter how much I type in this white chat box you NEVER know WHO I AM, they would disappear into the night. So, I try to ask to meet after 3 or 4 messages so we I can see if your legit human, and to see if your a waste of time or not. I put in what I put out. Many females want you to write novels to them, but whats the honest point? To the OP, not saying you are like this in any way, because you mention you actually give some men a chance to see their a personality which is good but I think online dating is a failure in general for both sexes. (At least for me)

 

Well, you probably heard the few that can actually make it work which is a very small number compared to the number of people who become disappointed with online dating. I think if people before us, could find someone without internet then we can do it too.

[melodymatters]

Ugh ! Tried it for two weeks after being widowed for a year and a half. NOT ONE guy 30's to 40's wrote me. I was inundated with early 20's, and badly aged 58 + 's.

 

I met one guy at a coffee shop and it was SO awkward. What do you do after talking for an hour, and knowing the whole time there's no hope ? You say "thanks, this was fun, we'll talk again" and they call, and call, and call.....and you feel horrible.....

 

Nope, tried it, hated it, done.

[zerovandez]

I've actually met a good amount of women through online dating. A few on POF and OKC. I didn't have ANY luck with Match.com. This was a span of about 4 months on both sites at the same time. I still communicate with a few of them and they're actually really cool friends of mine now. My approach was simply to use online dating as a stepping stone to get out of my shy shell after being in an LTR for 10 years. It's worked wonders for me. I've recently stopped because, honestly, I haven't tried the in person approach as much as I wanted or could have. I'll revisit online dating if this real world or in person approach doesn't work.

[Insanitylater]

I doubt I'll give up anytime soon.

 

The reason being is that I expect nothing from it. I see it simply as entertainment.

 

Its become quite fun holding people accountable with their game playing, and watching them either squirm, get mad, or turn the blame back on me.

[jerbear]

hahaha this is EXACTLY what I do!! I only sign up when someone catches my eye.. then I go out, I don't like them, and I delete it. Vicious circle.

 

I've decided to stop trying for awhile, anyway. All the men I've been out with [thankfully] have been really sweet guys- who I genuinely hope they find someone for them, but not exactly what I'm looking for.

 

I really can't get over with how forced and contrived it is, even though I've done it a couple times now. It all seems so interviewy

 

I was in your neck of the woods this past weekend. Anyway... I just block the ones I don't like. I know what you mean about call, call, call, etc... I've been there. Now I just reply back not interested or just let it go. If she does not reply back then let it go.

 

So far I have not gotten any crazies.

[ascendotum]

When I got to the point of reviewing women's profiles and if they sounded fun or intelligent and had sex appeal (even a little), then I decided that the odds were I was not going to get a response from her so I would then continue looking for someone who I thought I had a better chance of response from. I had a WTH reality check. (focus was on women in their 30s)

 

Around this time as well I was having drinks with some mates who were using or had used OLD and all 5 of us admitted that it was 'unlikely' to 'absolutely no way' we would have got together with a woman as good as our last girlfriends (IRL) if we had relied on OLD.

[DollWelch]

Now I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. No one appeals to me. [. . .] As a matter of fact, I was never attracted to them based on their profile pictures alone, but based on their personality I decided to give them a chance.

What did you expect, EyeAlone ? Online dating is demographically designed in that fashion.

 

A certain kind of men always grace online dating sites -usually the average, unappealing, and outwardly weird ones. They resort to online dating as a last option (in most cases). (And) Yes, there will always be a few gems in the ruffle but, don't count on it.

 

Hence why I say the old fashion way of dating is the best.

[Quest]

I've got three friends who are married to men they met on-line and one guy I know has just met a woman so perfect for him you couldn't have made it up. I think it's like winning the lotto - it's unlikely you'll be lucky but you've got to be in it to win it.

Having said that, I've tried it a couple of times and it wasn't a great success. My advice to anyone who does it would be to meet anyone who looks vaguely interesting early on and don't get into a long email correspondence with them. A lot of guys seem just want to write and not actually meet up and then, if and when you do, the fact that you might have chemistry by email means absolutely nothing in person.

One of the women I mentioned above was just about to give up on it when the right guy came along ...

[ascendotum]

A lot of guys seem just want to write and not actually meet up and then,

 

No, No...its the other way around!

[EyeAlone]

I never understood those people that turn down dates by saying "I don't know if I'm ready yet." There was a guy that I was really into on OKC and after a few days of messaging back and forth, I was a little frustrated that he hadn't suggested meeting up. I decided to make the first move, but then he gave that spiel. I don't like wasting my time messaging someone for days. I'd prefer we send a few messages and then meet up a few days later. I don't give a **** if we have chemistry online via messages. I'm not going to live in an online relationship. It's better to just cut to the chase and see how interact together in person.

 

A few of my male classmates have profiles on the sites, and they have plenty of stories gold-digger encounters, since they're going to be doctors soon, to entertain me. So yes, I do see an entertainment factor, but I guess I'm old fashioned and hope that I find love.

 

I have lots of acquaintances that have had good luck on OLD so that's why I keep chugging along. I figure odds are in my favor since I'm a girl.

[Quest]

No, No...its the other way around!

 

No, it's not ... IME

My guess there are probably a lot of people (men and women) who just like the 'fantasy' of a relationship and for them on-line dating sites are perfect - as long as they can keep an actual meeting at bay. Also, I think a lot of people get a buzz from emailing lots of people and not actually doing anything about it ... again, it keeps it all a perfect fantasy.

[Cee]

Gak, I hate those penpal, email types. One guy would write me once a week and they were seriously lengthy emails. I would type, "What kind of music do you like?" and he'd write a novel. I got bored after three emails and moved on.

[Surrealist]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I guess it may depend on where you live, but where I live – useless. Dont take it personally, the sites are a fraud for the most part, at least the paying ones, lots of fake accounts and women from third world countries. [/sIZE][/FONT]

[EyeAlone]

Gak, I hate those penpal, email types. One guy would write me once a week and they were seriously lengthy emails. I would type, "What kind of music do you like?" and he'd write a novel. I got bored after three emails and moved on.

I actually went out on a date with one of those types. It was one of my most awkward dates ever. He was really loud, kept bothering the waitstaff, cut me off in conversation, and was horrible at picking up cues from body language. I felt bad because he seemed like a genuinely nice, intelligent guy deep down, but I just couldn't tolerate his poor social skills.

 

I guess it may depend on where you live, but where I live – useless. Dont take it personally, the sites are a fraud for the most part, at least the paying ones, lots of fake accounts and women from third world countries.

Just curious as to how you figured that out. I haven't had that experience with men.

[Surrealist]

Just curious as to how you figured that out. I haven't had that experience with men.

 

I was contacted by lots of women with fake accounts asking me to view their profile pages (or nude piccies) on another site and sign up with my credit card details - of course I never did, could see it clearly for what it was.

 

With regard to women from third world countries or similar, they advertise they live in Canberra but then once you follow up in conversation, they are not currenlty living in Canberra but live in Ghana because they are on business there and so on. Further conversation reveals they never lived in Australia and if you persist with it (like I did only once) they will ask for money to move to the country. There were heaps of these accounts.

 

This is no stretch either these were my experiences. I dont take this personally, its just where I live there are very few women using online dating as a resource.