Am I being unreasonable?

[Aulie]

So I fooled around with this guy, and it didn't go so great. He couldn't keep an erection and I might have revealed something personal about myself that I probably shouldn't. We did however have some nice cuddling time. Anyway he goes to leave and he says he'll find me on Facebook through a mutual friend, which to me sounds like an obvious brush off, but I say ok and tell him to have a nice day.

 

Later in the night I was telling the mutual friend that he seemed very nice and stuff, and she mentioned that he's not looking for a girlfriend and he sleeps around. Which is fine, I'm not looking for a BF either, but wouldn't mind a FWB/FB situation.

 

Well, unexpectedly he does actually add me on Facebook and even sends a short message with the request saying he hopes I have a good night out for my birthday. I have a look at his profile and there's no photo, no info about himself and there's barely anything on his wall. He obviously doesn't use the thing, but I send him a short, friendly message asking how he is.

 

This was Sunday and come Tuesday, unsurprisingly, I didn't hear back from him. However, he did take the time to hide his wall and what little information he had about himself on his profile, so I unfriended him.

 

I figure what's the point of adding me to Facebook if you don't even use the thing and you've blocked me from seeing everything but your sex and birth date? I just felt a bit stupid having him on there as a friend after that.

 

The day after I deleted him though he did reply to my message apologizing for being slow at replying and told me how he was and how he would be away filming for a few days and then said he hoped I was well.

 

Now my question is, was I being unreasonable and too quick to assume when I deleted him? Or does it sound like he's not interested in giving me the time of day and am I justified for just cutting him loose?

 

Let me know what you think! Thanks guys

[Andy_K]

I rather suspect he uses facebook purely as a convenient way to keep in touch with people, not as a means to splash his personal information and private life over the internet.

 

Why do you particularly need to see anything on his facebook besides his sex and birth date? It's not like you have any need to know who his friends are, what he's been getting up to, or anything else.

 

Yes, you're being unreasonable. Especially if you're only looking for FWB anyway.

[Titania22]

It's hard to know anything when it comes to facebook, but there's a possibility that your unfriending him is what sparked his reply.

[SecretSquirrel]

I think that people who say that FB is no big deal and doesn't mean anything are in denial and/or don't understand what FB is all about...just because you don't like it doesn't mean that it hasn't had a major impact.

 

I would've said whatevs about him also. Like you said, what's the point?

[Aulie]

I rather suspect he uses facebook purely as a convenient way to keep in touch with people, not as a means to splash his personal information and private life over the internet.

 

Why do you particularly need to see anything on his facebook besides his sex and birth date? It's not like you have any need to know who his friends are, what he's been getting up to, or anything else.

 

Yes, you're being unreasonable. Especially if you're only looking for FWB anyway.

 

 

Well if he wanted to keep in touch with me then why wouldn't he have just asked for my number? If I don't need to know who his friends are or what he's up to then what's the point of adding me on FB, he could have just asked for my email? Not to mention he also hid his wall after adding me.

[Aulie]

I guess I should explain more what exactly bothers me...

 

It just seems weird to me that he chose FB as a way to get in touch with me when he clearly doesn't use it. I do understand that some people just don't use it that much and might only use it as a way to keep in touch with people.

 

What really go to me was that after he added me he hid everything that was on his profile. I don't even know the guy and already he's hiding things from me.

 

It just seems like a situation that I should probably avoid because even if we were going to enter into some kind of FWB situation I wouldn't want to be lied to or dicked around, and it just seemed like things could go that way judging by his secretiveness.

[FL Lady]

I think you are overanalyzing this whole situation. Drop it. Drop him. Sounds like neither one of you like each other very much anyways.

[Aulie]

I think you're probably right. It's not unknown for me to overanalyze situations.

[Truly Lost]

I don't think you are overanalyzing. You met this guy that you are physically attracted to. It's only natural to see where it will go. He chose to add you to FB, so why is he being secretive? If you don't want people to know your business then don't post it on FB!

 

He is just keeping his options open and probably only to get laid at his convenience. The FWB thing almost always ends up with someone getting hurt...and since you are analyzing the situation probably means you have already been disappointed at his shady behavior on FB. This probably means that you were indirectly hoping for just a little bit more.

 

If this was going to work out positively for you....you wouldn't already be wondering what's going on with him. Good thing you deleted him. Who needs the headache or heartache for that matter.

[Star Gazer]

What is the bit of personal information you revealed that you didn't think you should have?

 

And was this hookup the first time you'd met him??

[mitchell]

Forget this guy and move on. He couldn't even keep his erection to please you. Did he get soft after he penetrated you, or was he unable to even get hard enough to get started? Did he at least go down on you?

 

Sounds like he is not worth your effort. Next...

[djhall]

she mentioned that he's not looking for a girlfriend and he sleeps around.

...

I have a look at his profile and there's no photo, no info about himself and there's barely anything on his wall.

....

However, he did take the time to hide his wall and what little information he had about himself on his profile

I am almost certain these are related. Facebook provides a commonly used but easily controlled medium for communication... if things go badly he can easily block contact on FB and you don't have his phone number or address or other permanent contact info. His other "friends" are probably other people he wants to contact but keep at a distance from his "real" life, so why would he want you knowing about each other? If you really just want someone for sex and don't care who he is or what he does the rest of the time then I don't see the problem. But this is definitely not a guy who is going to be open and forthcoming about who he is or what he does when he isn't around you.