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Girlfriend kissed another guy.


shakez07

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We've been together for about a year. We both see each other in our futures, we're in love. I'm not a jealous person, so basically I let her have her guy friends. So about 5 months ago, a "new" guy friend pops up out of no where. She doesn't regularly hang out with her guy friends, but she does have them and she hangs out with them once in a blue moon.

 

But this particular "new" guy, for 4 months straight they see each other every week. I believe it was innocent at first, but I'm a male and texting my girlfriend everyday, that doesn't seem right. I'm a male that knows what goes on in a male's head. Obviously he knows about me, but off course he doesn't care one bit about me, he doens't know me. So a month ago I brought it to her attention, that I was bothered, because I thought it was very inappropriate. To go out with him every week to a bar, and going home like at 2 to 3 am. I asked her if the guy had a girlfriend, would you think his girlfriend would her him do that with you? I think there's a limit, and she passed that limit.

 

So we argued and I made very great valid points, and etc. She said she understands, blah blah blah. She said she'll keep it to a minimum. But it still felt the same, so i brought it up again. we argued, i think every weekend we argued for the past month about it. I told her this ****er had another agenda, and it wasn't just to be friends. I called her out on it. She said no, they're just friends. That she's pretty sure that their just friends.

 

So instead of arguing, I wanted to make it right, because I took her word. I was rec-courting her again, I was doing everything right. We went out on saturday night(the one that just passed) and after the movies, this ****er is texting her at 1am. Can the damn fool get the **** out of here! SO I felt very very unsteady for me. So she was at my house, and I saw her phone with the guy texting her. It tore my heart apart.. It had text of her saying she missed him and how she wants to see him. and it had texts about how he feels the same, and that every time they kissed it felt like blah blah so poetic **** he was trying to pull.

 

It felt so bad, but I've been through a lot during my life. So I kept my composure, and asked her, why she lied to me? she said what? then I said, you like the guy and you kissed the guy. She started denying it and I told her stop, it's just stupid to denyanything anymore. I wasn't even arguing or mad at her, I was pretty calm and just hurt. She finally admitted, she said she wanted to stop, and that this guy meant nothing to her. That this was stupid and she made some bad choices. She said she wanted to stay with me that i'm the only one she wants...and blah blah blah with the water works. I told her I didn't want to be with her, that it's bad enough that you did all this, and on top of that, that you LIED, and what's worse is that I dont know how you really feel about me, or that guy for that fact. She then says the same thing while crying that she wants to stay and she's not leaving until I forgive her, because she believes are bond is too strong for this to be done. I talked to her about it, and how I felt about it. I asked her why she did it.

 

She believed that I was doing the same thing, because I had a lot of lady friends. I told her, I don't deny that I have a lot, but I kept everything at an appropriate level because I knew going into this relationship that it needs to be kept at an appropriate level. She said she felt like she couldn't talk to me about it because she didn't want to stir up anything, and that she didn't want to lose me. I told her so by not talking ot me about it, you go do this instead?

 

It's been a couple of days, now, she's been working really hard to try to get this in the right track. I told her that if that guy is not out of the picture we can't work anything out, because I don't need to put up with it, she agreed. But it feels unsteady still.

 

How can I trust her again? It's hard because I think about it all the time!

 

She painted some big picture of me doing the same thing to her, if she thought that about me, why couldn't she just talk to me?

 

I'm sure she did have a crush on the guy or something, but I'm not sure if it's still there or that this guy really means a lot to her.

 

There's a billion questions in my head and I can't seem to stop thinking.

 

How do I trust her again?! Because I want to sooo bad, because I know she made a mistake, but maybe it's naive that I want to trust her again and that I should walk away from it all. Im not sure no more.

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Ella whispers

You should go w/ her next time. See how they interact together and talk to him w/ a cool head.

She knows what it's like to be with you and likes it, she doesn't know about him. Hopefully she won't wonder and regret not taking it farther.

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You should go w/ her next time. See how they interact together and talk to him w/ a cool head.

She knows what it's like to be with you and likes it, she doesn't know about him. Hopefully she won't wonder and regret not taking it farther.

 

Even after a year...? If she's still looking for the greener grass, then I'll let her go look for it on her own...

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Even after a year...? If she's still looking for the greener grass, then I'll let her go look for it on her own...

 

I know right? after one year.

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GorillaTheater
It had text of her saying she missed him and how she wants to see him. and it had texts about how he feels the same, and that every time they kissed it felt like blah blah so poetic ****

 

That's all I'd need to know. Next her ass.

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Get rid of her as quick as you can shes toxic,the kiss sealed it but the signs were so there already hanging out at a bar till 2 am

 

Interesting topic though,My friends wife has allot of male friends which puzzles me but i stay out of it

 

Allot of em are from childhood which is ok but she also has made new ones which is a warning sign to me,why youd want your wife exchanig numbers to be friends with single guys befuddles me but my friend is a laid back guy who doesnt care

 

Im, not saying shes cheating or that you shoiuld have a leash on your women but theres basical levels of respect you should show each other, a married women should not becoming good friends wiht single guys

 

And we obviously know the single guys attentions lets be honest h

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Dump her. She just let another guy kiss her, feel her up, etc. How's it going to feel next time you kiss her and look at her eyes so close?

 

Besides, how do you know she didn't blow him or fk him?

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I'm sure she did have a crush on the guy or something, but I'm not sure if it's still there or that this guy really means a lot to her.

 

This is irrelevant. The important thing is that you don't really mean much to her anymore.

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welikeincrowds
This one is easy...LAUNCH...

 

Listen to this mother****ing bro, OP. Listen to this mother****ing bro.

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Untouchable_Fire
To go out with him every week to a bar, and going home like at 2 to 3 am. I asked her if the guy had a girlfriend, would you think his girlfriend would her him do that with you? I think there's a limit, and she passed that limit.

 

Not only is that wildly inappropriate... I would require her to provide me proof that she actually was at the bar and not a hotel.

 

Access to her financial statements and cell phone records should be sufficient.

 

You know if she wont give you access that there is something more.

 

I saw her phone with the guy texting her. It tore my heart apart.. It had text of her saying she missed him and how she wants to see him. and it had texts about how he feels the same, and that every time they kissed it felt like blah blah so poetic **** he was trying to pull.

 

Every time the kiss? Doesn't that suggest to you that this is a very physical and romantic relationship?

 

How long do people stick to just kissing? How long did she stick to just kissing with you?

 

She started denying it and I told her stop, it's just stupid to denyanything anymore. I wasn't even arguing or mad at her, I was pretty calm and just hurt. She finally admitted, she said she wanted to stop, and that this guy meant nothing to her. That this was stupid and she made some bad choices.

 

If he meant nothing why is she even cheating on you with him? That's another lie to minimize the cheating.

 

She believed that I was doing the same thing, because I had a lot of lady friends. I told her, I don't deny that I have a lot, but I kept everything at an appropriate level because I knew going into this relationship that it needs to be kept at an appropriate level. She said she felt like she couldn't talk to me about it because she didn't want to stir up anything, and that she didn't want to lose me. I told her so by not talking ot me about it, you go do this instead?

 

Bullcrap! She is trying to make you feel guilty. It's a very common tactic cheating girls use.

 

Don't you dare think that this is your fault.

 

It's been a couple of days, now, she's been working really hard to try to get this in the right track. I told her that if that guy is not out of the picture we can't work anything out, because I don't need to put up with it, she agreed. But it feels unsteady still.

 

She needs to give you access to everything, and be very understanding of your trust issues for a while.

 

How can I trust her again? It's hard because I think about it all the time!

 

Trust is the easy part. She clearly has ZERO respect for you. How do you plan to fix that?

 

I'm sure she did have a crush on the guy or something, but I'm not sure if it's still there or that this guy really means a lot to her.

 

Chances are she is still in contact with him.

 

How do I trust her again?! Because I want to sooo bad, because I know she made a mistake, but maybe it's naive that I want to trust her again and that I should walk away from it all. Im not sure no more.

 

Shakez... I've dealt with this issue twice in the last 5 years, both 2+ year relationships.

 

I ditched them both. They had no respect for themselves and no respect for me. The last one is dating the guy she was cheating with... and still sending me texts asking to get back together. :confused: Some women are just trash.

 

I have a new GF and I can't tell you how happy I am that I ditched the others. I realize that it wasn't the relationship what was broken... they were.

 

It's nice to have a GF who's idea of girls night ends at 11pm, doesn't require loads of alcohol and other men.

 

If this is the best woman you can hope to get... I'm really sad for you.

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Ummm are you f___ing nuts??? Cut her loose NOW! RIGHT NOW!!

 

Listen to those of us who's bloody spouses cheated. Man oh man, you dodged a bullet my friend.

 

Get her the heck out of your life NOW!~!~!~!~

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BackUpOrGetStung

Keep her around until you find someone new, but I wouldn't go any further than using her for sex. Or you know, follow everyone else's advice, but personally I'd take advantage of the situation and just cut her loose when I find someone else.

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Forget it. when your girl kisses another guy, there is a problem. a huge, huge problem. it might not be over today, or tomorrow, or even next month, but its just going to slowly degrade from here. she will probably do it again if you dont make a pre-emptive strike NOW and let her know you refuse to put up with this kind of disrespectful crap. she will whine and cry and stomp her feet, but its all a show. you don’t need to get all logical about it and try to rationalize anything. you just kick her a@@ to the curb for a couple weeks and let her think about it. it will make her think twice if she really wants to be with you.

 

lets face it, if any of these guys had the opportunity, you know they would screw her. so don’t be a puss and try to be a nice guy about it. I would also be super pissed at that scumbag guy friend who is not respecting you. I really loathe people like that. and where did she meet this guy anyway? and why is she still talking to him?

 

its totally disrespectful to you. you let her get away with it she will think its ok to do it again. not now, not tomorrow, but what about 6 months from now?? you need to make a very strong statement about it now. show her you are not a pushover.

 

unfortunately people don’t always respect you, until you show them that you demand respect.

 

that’s my two cents.

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Keep her around until you find someone new, but I wouldn't go any further than using her for sex. Or you know, follow everyone else's advice, but personally I'd take advantage of the situation and just cut her loose when I find someone else.

 

 

OP is better than that. Using her for sex would bring him down to her level. Plus, there's no way of knowing if she picked up anything from her cheating.

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I don't think any of us can tell you what to do OP....

 

I ended a relationship with someone I was engaged to, because he kissed another woman. Had we already been married and he kissed someone else, I might have worked through it or I might not have, who knows.

 

But, I wasn't about to enter into a marriage, only to regret it down the road.

 

FWIW...

 

I hope it works out for you, either way.

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BackUpOrGetStung

OP is better than that. Using her for sex would bring him down to her level. Plus, there's no way of knowing if she picked up anything from her cheating.

 

He's already been banging her, so he's got whatever she may have anyway.

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He's already been banging her, so he's got whatever she may have anyway.

 

 

Not the point. She already cheated. He needs to dump her, not use her for sex.

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BackUpOrGetStung

Like I said, it's what I'd do to take advantage of a bad situation, just throwing my two cents in like everyone else.

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I cant believe how much some men and women let people walk all over them.

 

Does she have to have sex with him right in front of you to get the point across?

 

 

well said.

 

im thinking sometimes we have to get stepped on by others a few times before we realize our own self worth as people. then and only then will you say to someone.. enough with the crap!!!!!!!

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