Jump to content

He hasn't responded to my text in 4 hours


SadandConfusedWA

Recommended Posts

SadandConfusedWA

4 hours and counting.

 

I am so sick of this. I texted him today if he would prefer to catch upo on Friday or Saturday night. My friends are organizing a girls night and I needed to know when I am free.

 

My worst fears are coming true and I am being abandoned without so much as "there is no chemistry" or similar lame line.

 

I do know that he doesn't owe me anything after 3 dates and leading me to beleive that there is a fourth. But I did think that this guy is better than that. I guess not:(

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh...em...gee...

 

Here I rely on the standard 24 hour "grace period" for responses when it comes to modern correspondence...seriously, four hours is nothing...if it's been four days, then maybe you have an issue...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Probably late to this dynamic, but, after three dates, just *call* him. A voice can be a more powerful motivator than text, IMO. You can debate the value of motivation, but I'm reading here that you would enjoy a fourth date and my advice is offered with that in mind. Good luck :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
florence of suburbia
Oh...em...gee...

 

Here I rely on the standard 24 hour "grace period" for responses when it comes to modern correspondence...seriously, four hours is nothing...if it's been four days, then maybe you have an issue...

I agree...not everyone is a slave to their electronic devices. Some people actually.....:eek: turn their phones off! :eek:

 

Sorry, but, get a life. (and I'd be telling myself the same thing if I was obsessing the way you are right now.)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I must agree with carhill on this one...you should call for more important matters such as this where urgency might be required...

Link to post
Share on other sites

*If* the OP isn't/hasn't been calling her intended on the phone, such an effort would, IMO, be greatly appreciated and valued by a man who has genuine interest. Like I said, I don't know all the details but I do know the value I place upon hearing the voice of a woman I like over the phone, even across the world. It has impact no text can achieve.

 

However, as she has sent a text, I'd give it a *day* and then call, predicated on the reality that they have had three productive and enjoyable dates. I'm in the OP's part of the world right now (Singapore) and the weekend is a little closer over here so I understand her wanting to firm up plans. Hope it works out! :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours and counting.

 

I am so sick of this. I texted him today if he would prefer to catch upo on Friday or Saturday night. My friends are organizing a girls night and I needed to know when I am free.

 

My worst fears are coming true and I am being abandoned without so much as "there is no chemistry" or similar lame line.

 

I do know that he doesn't owe me anything after 3 dates and leading me to beleive that there is a fourth. But I did think that this guy is better than that. I guess not:(

 

Please tell me this post is a joke?

 

You've just had your third date.. who exactly do you think you are to command his full attention? You sound incredibly needy and possessive.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Oh...em...gee...

 

Here I rely on the standard 24 hour "grace period" for responses when it comes to modern correspondence...seriously, four hours is nothing...if it's been four days, then maybe you have an issue...

 

I think I took 2 hours once to respond to one of your recent texts. I'm so glad you don't react this way. :love:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Why didn't you just plan your girls night out and then let him get in where you can fir him in??

 

Why are you planning your life around a man??

 

Why are you initiating??

 

Let him do more of the work since it makes the man feel more in control.

 

He probably feels like you're sweating him.

 

Relax. Follow his lead.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Why didn't you just plan your girls night out and then let him get in where you can fit him in??

 

Why are you planning your life around a man??

 

Great questions.

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours and counting.

 

I am so sick of this. I texted him today if he would prefer to catch upo on Friday or Saturday night. My friends are organizing a girls night and I needed to know when I am free.

 

My worst fears are coming true and I am being abandoned without so much as "there is no chemistry" or similar lame line.

 

I do know that he doesn't owe me anything after 3 dates and leading me to beleive that there is a fourth. But I did think that this guy is better than that. I guess not:(

 

11pm me: "hey how are you?"

 

11:30pm (no reply) so me again: "Do you want to catch up sometime?"

 

11:33pm him: Yeah, I can't do this week though so how about next?

 

11:34pm me: Cool, I am free towards the end of next week, let's grab a drink

 

11:36pm him: Sounds like a plan!

 

11.37pm me: Awesome!

 

-------------------------

 

Here it gets even worse. Note: still drunk

 

12:01am me (somebody shoot me): Actually you can think about it by next week, the last thing I want to do is pressure you into it.

 

NOTHING for 30 minutes

 

12:30am him: I am going to bed, goodnight

 

12:31am me: good night

 

12:41am me: sleep well

 

12:45am him: you too

 

12 47am him: how is your project going? (he is talking about work)

 

12:48am me: blah blah blah blah

 

12:50am him: blah blah bah blah (just some work stuff, boring)

 

12:51am me: I have another 5am start tomorrow

 

12:52am him: Jesus go to sleep then!!!!!!!

 

12:53am me: good night (again)

 

it's Tuesday... so go ahead and plan your girls night.

 

since he never actually stated when or IF he'd see you - don't expect it. IF he wanted to see you he would have nailed it down when you were texting, but he didn't. now you're pushing him... chasing even.

 

he's just not that interested but you keep pushing. IF he asks you eventually for the night you're busy - just tell him you're busy and suggest a night for the next week.

 

stop chasing him = he's running faster than you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
it's Tuesday... so go ahead and plan your girls night.

 

since he never actually stated when or IF he'd see you - don't expect it. IF he wanted to see you he would have nailed it down when you were texting, but he didn't. now you're pushing him... chasing even.

 

he's just not that interested but you keep pushing. IF he asks you eventually for the night you're busy - just tell him you're busy and suggest a night for the next week.

 

stop chasing him = he's running faster than you.

 

The guy in THIS thread isn't the same guy as the texts you're quoting. Those are from her old Politician guy. Two different people.

Link to post
Share on other sites
DontWorryBHappy

Guuuuuuuuuuuuurrrllllllll listen to yourself!!!!!

 

"I am planning a girl's night and needed to know when I am free."

 

Ermm.... No. A strong, independent woman LETS THE MAN KNOW when she is free!!!!!!!!!!!! And that strong woman would plan her girl's night without thinking of how it fits with the man's schedule, and if the man should decide to initiate a date with the woman, the girl would tell the man, "I'm hanging with my girls on such and such day, so it will need to be on a night other than that!" And if that man decides that the woman is worth it, he will find another day to take her out! Think about it!!!!!

Edited by DontWorryBHappy
Link to post
Share on other sites
The guy in THIS thread isn't the same guy as the texts you're quoting. Those are from her old Politician guy. Two different people.

 

2sunny it's a different guy....

 

ooops! dang... i had no idea things were moving forward so fast... i must keep up with all your men! my bad!

 

go have fun with the girls - he'll make time when you have time.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Why don't you impose a personal moratorium on texting? It seems to be the root of all evil in your life.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Reading more, I'm leaning towards a girl's weekend. I think that's a proper prioritization. Those are your friends. The gentleman will have to go without your company for now. If he's interested and values the time he has spent with you on the three dates, he'll act, and can make plans with you for another time.

 

If you do make a decision favoring your friends, stick to it, even if you hear from him. He has to earn priority over your friends and is nowhere near that level yet, IMO.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Not sure why you're fretting over the fact that he hasn't replied. As someone who does not reply promptly to text, I can give you my point of view.

 

I can take up to a day to reply text messages if they are unimportant. It's not that I do that on my purpose, but other more important things might keep me occupied during that period of time. Also, my phone doesn't have those annoying loud ringtones when a message comes in. Thus, only when I check my phone, then I realize that there are messages. I don't check my phone that frequently so it might be hours before I reply the text. Come to think of it, I don't like using my cell phone that much.

 

If it is a text message, I don't feel the urgency to reply to the other person immediately. After all, if it is something important, the person will call instead of text.

Link to post
Share on other sites
DontWorryBHappy

Agreeing with carhill. It sounds as if you need to make it known to him that your life continues REGARDLESS of him.

 

Example: When I was first dating a guy we were planning to go to a BBQ together. He ended up not being able to get over there, but I went anyway without him and had a great time :). Later he told me that it actually impressed him... he could see that I was a girl who didn't need him and who would go on with things regardless of him.

 

So yes, plan your girl's night, have a blast, and leave it to the guy to come find you. If he doesn't then forget him.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
SadandConfusedWA

He did respond and this makes me feel even more uneasy. Keep in mind that he is currently away on a trip with the guys and is supposed to come back early Friday.

 

He said: "Hey SAC, hope you having a good day. The surf is great out here so we have decided to stay down the coast for a couple of extra days. Could we maybe make it next week?

 

Me: "No worries, have fun! Tuesday?"

 

Him: "Yep, sounds good"

 

 

I feel like he is blowing me off and is making up the story of staying couple of extra days. This is the problem with "nice" guys. They can't be straight up with you.

 

Ironically, I felt that our last date was the best date so far. I also felt that his interest level has somehow dropped afterwards. Perhaps he met someone else, who knows.

 

I feel that this is pretty much dead in the water. Wow. Why can't he just say that he isn't interested anymore :(

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours and counting.

 

I am so sick of this. I texted him today if he would prefer to catch upo on Friday or Saturday night. My friends are organizing a girls night and I needed to know when I am free.

 

My worst fears are coming true and I am being abandoned without so much as "there is no chemistry" or similar lame line.

 

I do know that he doesn't owe me anything after 3 dates and leading me to beleive that there is a fourth. But I did think that this guy is better than that. I guess not:(

 

 

So what if he hasn't responded in 4 hours ? Stop reading into what if's and read into the action speak louder than words.. From seeing your comments on other people's posts I thought you would be more well versed but I guess not... If you texted him and it has been 4 hours and he hasn't replied (granted you didn't leave a stupid text statement that could go unanswered) I would take it as a sign. Now if you asked him something you are kinda asking for a quick reply back and if he doesn't reply you freak.. Maybe he is changing the oil on his car, watching grass grow, plowing another chick, selling himself for money or whatever. Just chill out and leave it at that for about a day.. then txt him asking a question which normally requires a reply, that way he is presented a question to which reply to and not just a statement which can either be negotiated or ignored because there isn't a reply inquiry.. Good luck !!

Link to post
Share on other sites

WTF? You have NO EVIDENCE that he's making this up! Why are you assuming he's no longer interested?? Just because he didn't jump for joy and drop his friends for you??

 

His priority isn't with you, SAC...but guess what? It shouldn't be! He's with his friends on a getaway, and you've only had 3 dates!! CHILL!

 

You should have the same attitude. He should not be a priority over your friends and girls' night.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...