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Living with parents but dating, do you think that hurts a person in a way?


Labster12

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I am a first year college student. Of course you would expect a college student to be living in a dorm and all of that stuff but lets just say the economy has made it tougher for people to get scholarships and other aid to pay for college.

 

While I did graduate high school with a decent GPA (3.4 with all honors courses) and a good SAT score (1980 overall). I was still not able to qualify for most scholarships because my GPA was not the highest and I hadn't done too much volunteer work. As a result I was given the option by my parents to either stay in the same town for two more years and then transfer to a bigger university or go to the university I was accepted into, take out a loan and get myself in debt.

 

So I took the commute route, I will be spending two years at a local university and doing my final two years elsewhere, hopefully in a much bigger state than Arkansas (nothing much to do here).

 

Anyways my friends have experienced the same thing. It is like not the same feeling you would get when you are living on your own and dating a girl. When you are living with family (my friends commute to college as well) and dating, it feels that you are independent since you are in college but that you are not fully independent because hey, you are still living with mommy and daddy.

 

I want your views.

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I refused to date until I was technically leaving on my own. I rented an apartment in one of my mother's building and then only then did I start dating.I was 18 when I did that , and still didn't allow dates over. I now live on my own and able to date more freely.

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In America, absolutely. If you are a male and over a certain age and not financially independent, forget about dating. I believe there are other cultures and countries which actively encourage you to not live on your own until you are married, but you are going to have a hell of a time trying this in the U.S. It's the the way decaying American society functions.

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I am a first year college student. Of course you would expect a college student to be living in a dorm and all of that stuff but lets just say the economy has made it tougher for people to get scholarships and other aid to pay for college.

 

While I did graduate high school with a decent GPA (3.4 with all honors courses) and a good SAT score (1980 overall). I was still not able to qualify for most scholarships because my GPA was not the highest and I hadn't done too much volunteer work. As a result I was given the option by my parents to either stay in the same town for two more years and then transfer to a bigger university or go to the university I was accepted into, take out a loan and get myself in debt.

 

So I took the commute route, I will be spending two years at a local university and doing my final two years elsewhere, hopefully in a much bigger state than Arkansas (nothing much to do here).

 

Anyways my friends have experienced the same thing. It is like not the same feeling you would get when you are living on your own and dating a girl. When you are living with family (my friends commute to college as well) and dating, it feels that you are independent since you are in college but that you are not fully independent because hey, you are still living with mommy and daddy.

 

I want your views.

I live with my parents at this time and it hasn't stopped me. I just go out, have a good time, and go to his place since he can't come to mine. My parents would throw a fit. I am starting to look into getting financial aid to get a place of my own to live at independently for this year while I wait to go to a larger four-year university.

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yea see the girl I am dating is 21 and I am 18, she moved here from another state so that is why she kind of lives on her own

 

if anything I am with her more than I am with my parents...

 

Right now I am at her apartment

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yea see the girl I am dating is 21 and I am 18, she moved here from another state so that is why she kind of lives on her own

 

if anything I am with her more than I am with my parents...

 

Right now I am at her apartment

 

Then it doesn't seem to be hurting you too much. Just try to have fun, the two more years at home are really just a speck in the grand scheme, and as you said it's pretty common in this economy. Be grateful you can afford college at all, it will definitely help your future dating life.

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The culture of leaving on your own after 18 is more of a Caucasian culture.

 

The more family-oriented Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians generally stay around with their parents longer.

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The culture of leaving on your own after 18 is more of a Caucasian culture.

 

The more family-oriented Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians generally stay around with their parents longer.

 

My girlfriend (I am sure you know what her ethnicity is by now lol) lived on her own after the age of 18 or as soon as she turned 18.

 

Yea, I have known Indian guys and Asian guys in their 20s and are about 25 or so and still living with momma and daddy.

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In America, absolutely. If you are a male and over a certain age and not financially independent, forget about dating. I believe there are other cultures and countries which actively encourage you to not live on your own until you are married, but you are going to have a hell of a time trying this in the U.S. It's the the way decaying American society functions.

 

Most Mexican-Americans live on the philosophy that the man still lives with his family until marriage, and Mexican-American women accept that as fact.

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Mutant Debutante

It would hurt you if you were ten years older, for sure. But 18 and in school? Not that big of a deal, IMO.

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thanks for the info guys

 

yea but I still feel a bit like a mamas boy but that is because I grew up mainly around Blacks and Whites, and most Black and White people I know go off far away to college

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thanks for the info guys

 

yea but I still feel a bit like a mamas boy but that is because I grew up mainly around Blacks and Whites, and most Black and White people I know go off far away to college

 

How is race even remotely relevant...? :confused:

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Mutant Debutante

My 19 yo sister is living with me while she goes to college. She gets free room and board and a lot of free meals in exchange for helping with chores and babysitting and driving around our youngest sister. Her dating life is different than it would be if she lived in a dorm, maybe, because she can't just bring random people back here, but I don't think she'd want to bring random people around too much anyway. She still dates and does okay, she's in a relationship now. She is a girl and a lesbian though so her dynamics are probably kind of different from yours.

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Down here in Australia, which I always thought was similar to America it doesn't matter so much. I'm around your age and living at home, and my gf doesn't mind. She's practically part of the family. People only really move out if they have to travel far to university, or they really hate their parents. Luckily I am blessed on both accounts. I'd say of my high school class maybe 10% has moved out of home thus far.

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How is race even remotely relevant...? :confused:

 

obviously other people pointed it out before me, kinda sad you had to single me out on bringing race into this when others brought it in first

 

and it is relevant because in many cases race correlates to culture, no need to be a politically correct wuss

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My 19 yo sister is living with me while she goes to college. She gets free room and board and a lot of free meals in exchange for helping with chores and babysitting and driving around our youngest sister. Her dating life is different than it would be if she lived in a dorm, maybe, because she can't just bring random people back here, but I don't think she'd want to bring random people around too much anyway. She still dates and does okay, she's in a relationship now. She is a girl and a lesbian though so her dynamics are probably kind of different from yours.

 

well I am in a smaller town, most of my friends have their girlfriends from high school or they are single, me being the only one making a new girlfriend

 

other than that, most people know each other in college so it is not that new start or new slate feel

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It would hurt you if you were ten years older, for sure. But 18 and in school? Not that big of a deal, IMO.

I agree.

The only hurt for an undergrad in America is sneaking around the parents to use your own bed as a love nest. In other nations/cultures you are expected to stay at home until you marry or do something out of your class/social peers like being the only soldier.

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My girlfriend (I am sure you know what her ethnicity is by now lol) lived on her own after the age of 18 or as soon as she turned 18.

Firstly, I said 'generally'. And secondly, she grew up among whites, so she probably (just like you) felt the pressure to live on her own.

 

I live in a predominantly Hispanic and Asian community and most people (including the whites minority) live with their parents until early 20s.

 

So its all about social pressure.

 

I personally find moving out so early can be a dumb decision. Its like you blow off all your money on the wedding just for esteem reasons instead of saving the money for the marriage. I would rather give my money to my own parents for letting me live in their house than giving it to some stranger. But then again, my parents are cool. I guess its different if your parents are annoying.

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Actually, it's very common for college students to be living with their parents, actually it's probably the ONLY good excuse to have to be living with your parents......plus if the college is local, why go live in a dorm anyhow?

 

 

I am a first year college student. Of course you would expect a college student to be living in a dorm and all of that stuff but lets just say the economy has made it tougher for people to get scholarships and other aid to pay for college.

 

While I did graduate high school with a decent GPA (3.4 with all honors courses) and a good SAT score (1980 overall). I was still not able to qualify for most scholarships because my GPA was not the highest and I hadn't done too much volunteer work. As a result I was given the option by my parents to either stay in the same town for two more years and then transfer to a bigger university or go to the university I was accepted into, take out a loan and get myself in debt.

 

So I took the commute route, I will be spending two years at a local university and doing my final two years elsewhere, hopefully in a much bigger state than Arkansas (nothing much to do here).

 

Anyways my friends have experienced the same thing. It is like not the same feeling you would get when you are living on your own and dating a girl. When you are living with family (my friends commute to college as well) and dating, it feels that you are independent since you are in college but that you are not fully independent because hey, you are still living with mommy and daddy.

 

I want your views.

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Well, frankly, if you're living in a dorm with a roommate, I don't see how it can be any better than living with your parents. Seriously, I don't get how people with roommates date. What do you do when you want to bring your date home and be intimate? Chase the roomie out?

 

And by roommate I mean people sharing the same room, not house.

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Well, frankly, if you're living in a dorm with a roommate, I don't see how it can be any better than living with your parents. Seriously, I don't get how people with roommates date. What do you do when you want to bring your date home and be intimate? Chase the roomie out?

 

And by roommate I mean people sharing the same room, not house.

While often a parent being present would make bringing a love interest around impossible, and you can't really ask them to leave unless you come up with an excuse to get them out of the house and they actually leave, a roommate can understand and agree to leave and give you and a date some privacy for a period of time. Roommates don't have the same protective tendencies as parents.

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Actually, I know lots of people whose parents are okay with them bringing dates home. And they typically have their own room, so while the parents are elsewhere in the house, they and the date at least have the room to themselves.

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Actually, I know lots of people whose parents are okay with them bringing dates home. And they typically have their own room, so while the parents are elsewhere in the house, they and the date at least have the room to themselves.

My parents would never be okay with that, ahaha! :p Never in a million years would they let me bring a boy into my room and close the door. They would freak. I'm forced to go to his place, and it works because his mom doesn't care, and in fact supports us in our... pursuit of closeness. :D

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