LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Living with parents but dating, do you think that hurts a person in a way?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 20th September 2010, 4:24 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 234
Living with parents but dating, do you think that hurts a person in a way?

I am a first year college student. Of course you would expect a college student to be living in a dorm and all of that stuff but lets just say the economy has made it tougher for people to get scholarships and other aid to pay for college.

While I did graduate high school with a decent GPA (3.4 with all honors courses) and a good SAT score (1980 overall). I was still not able to qualify for most scholarships because my GPA was not the highest and I hadn't done too much volunteer work. As a result I was given the option by my parents to either stay in the same town for two more years and then transfer to a bigger university or go to the university I was accepted into, take out a loan and get myself in debt.

So I took the commute route, I will be spending two years at a local university and doing my final two years elsewhere, hopefully in a much bigger state than Arkansas (nothing much to do here).

Anyways my friends have experienced the same thing. It is like not the same feeling you would get when you are living on your own and dating a girl. When you are living with family (my friends commute to college as well) and dating, it feels that you are independent since you are in college but that you are not fully independent because hey, you are still living with mommy and daddy.

I want your views.
Labster12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 4:42 PM   #2
Established Member
 
SilentVoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: On my way
Posts: 507
I refused to date until I was technically leaving on my own. I rented an apartment in one of my mother's building and then only then did I start dating.I was 18 when I did that , and still didn't allow dates over. I now live on my own and able to date more freely.
__________________
"But his bird thinks it's amazing, though, so all that's left is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf."
SilentVoice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 4:45 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 712
In America, absolutely. If you are a male and over a certain age and not financially independent, forget about dating. I believe there are other cultures and countries which actively encourage you to not live on your own until you are married, but you are going to have a hell of a time trying this in the U.S. It's the the way decaying American society functions.
espec10001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 4:48 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: western USA
Posts: 904
Quote:
Originally Posted by Labster12 View Post
I am a first year college student. Of course you would expect a college student to be living in a dorm and all of that stuff but lets just say the economy has made it tougher for people to get scholarships and other aid to pay for college.

While I did graduate high school with a decent GPA (3.4 with all honors courses) and a good SAT score (1980 overall). I was still not able to qualify for most scholarships because my GPA was not the highest and I hadn't done too much volunteer work. As a result I was given the option by my parents to either stay in the same town for two more years and then transfer to a bigger university or go to the university I was accepted into, take out a loan and get myself in debt.

So I took the commute route, I will be spending two years at a local university and doing my final two years elsewhere, hopefully in a much bigger state than Arkansas (nothing much to do here).

Anyways my friends have experienced the same thing. It is like not the same feeling you would get when you are living on your own and dating a girl. When you are living with family (my friends commute to college as well) and dating, it feels that you are independent since you are in college but that you are not fully independent because hey, you are still living with mommy and daddy.

I want your views.
I live with my parents at this time and it hasn't stopped me. I just go out, have a good time, and go to his place since he can't come to mine. My parents would throw a fit. I am starting to look into getting financial aid to get a place of my own to live at independently for this year while I wait to go to a larger four-year university.
GooseChaser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 5:28 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 234
yea see the girl I am dating is 21 and I am 18, she moved here from another state so that is why she kind of lives on her own

if anything I am with her more than I am with my parents...

Right now I am at her apartment
Labster12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 6:16 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Stung's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
Posts: 2,800
Quote:
Originally Posted by Labster12 View Post
yea see the girl I am dating is 21 and I am 18, she moved here from another state so that is why she kind of lives on her own

if anything I am with her more than I am with my parents...

Right now I am at her apartment
Then it doesn't seem to be hurting you too much. Just try to have fun, the two more years at home are really just a speck in the grand scheme, and as you said it's pretty common in this economy. Be grateful you can afford college at all, it will definitely help your future dating life.
Stung is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 7:33 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 234
yea, I need to really get outta this town for real for real

like rly, there is next to nothing here
Labster12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 8:36 PM   #8
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 755
The culture of leaving on your own after 18 is more of a Caucasian culture.

The more family-oriented Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians generally stay around with their parents longer.
jamesum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 10:30 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 234
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamesum View Post
The culture of leaving on your own after 18 is more of a Caucasian culture.

The more family-oriented Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians generally stay around with their parents longer.
My girlfriend (I am sure you know what her ethnicity is by now lol) lived on her own after the age of 18 or as soon as she turned 18.

Yea, I have known Indian guys and Asian guys in their 20s and are about 25 or so and still living with momma and daddy.
Labster12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 10:34 PM   #10
Established Member
 
Raderick's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 335
Quote:
Originally Posted by espec10001 View Post
In America, absolutely. If you are a male and over a certain age and not financially independent, forget about dating. I believe there are other cultures and countries which actively encourage you to not live on your own until you are married, but you are going to have a hell of a time trying this in the U.S. It's the the way decaying American society functions.
Most Mexican-Americans live on the philosophy that the man still lives with his family until marriage, and Mexican-American women accept that as fact.
__________________
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."
Raderick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 10:39 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Mutant Debutante's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In the gutter, looking up at the stars
Posts: 429
It would hurt you if you were ten years older, for sure. But 18 and in school? Not that big of a deal, IMO.
__________________
Finally, someone let me out of my cage.
Mutant Debutante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 10:53 PM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 234
thanks for the info guys

yea but I still feel a bit like a mamas boy but that is because I grew up mainly around Blacks and Whites, and most Black and White people I know go off far away to college
Labster12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 11:03 PM   #13
Established Member
 
USMCHokie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 15,280
Quote:
Originally Posted by Labster12 View Post
thanks for the info guys

yea but I still feel a bit like a mamas boy but that is because I grew up mainly around Blacks and Whites, and most Black and White people I know go off far away to college
How is race even remotely relevant...?
__________________
Ad hominem - attacks on a person rather than on the validity of evidence or an argument
Reductio Ad Absurdum - argument that an extreme of a position must be true as well
False Dilemma - giving two extremes as the only alternatives to a position
Confirmation Bias - considering only evidence favorable to one's own position
USMCHokie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 11:18 PM   #14
Established Member
 
Mutant Debutante's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In the gutter, looking up at the stars
Posts: 429
My 19 yo sister is living with me while she goes to college. She gets free room and board and a lot of free meals in exchange for helping with chores and babysitting and driving around our youngest sister. Her dating life is different than it would be if she lived in a dorm, maybe, because she can't just bring random people back here, but I don't think she'd want to bring random people around too much anyway. She still dates and does okay, she's in a relationship now. She is a girl and a lesbian though so her dynamics are probably kind of different from yours.
Mutant Debutante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th September 2010, 11:19 PM   #15
Established Member
 
Eclypse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Kokomo
Posts: 1,534
Down here in Australia, which I always thought was similar to America it doesn't matter so much. I'm around your age and living at home, and my gf doesn't mind. She's practically part of the family. People only really move out if they have to travel far to university, or they really hate their parents. Luckily I am blessed on both accounts. I'd say of my high school class maybe 10% has moved out of home thus far.
Eclypse is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Living with Parents, Supporting Them, Issues with Dating Pizzaman81 Dating 10 15th October 2009 4:20 PM
I'm currently living with an insane person Scrivdog Infidelity 87 25th March 2008 3:20 PM
Is living with parents a big deal to guys? chill chic Dating 19 20th October 2007 6:51 AM
Adults Living at Home with Parents Janinez Parenting 9 20th May 2007 7:09 PM
living with a large person Zankon Friends and Lovers 247 7th October 2006 12:47 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:44 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.