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Girls do you check the online profile of guys your talking too?


teamtrek15

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Hey I was wondering if you girls out there check the online profile regularly of someone you are talking with after about of month or so?

 

Only reason I ask is because I have been talking to this girl for alittle over a month. We have no "titles" between us as that talk has never come up. She told me the other day she was deleting her online profile on the dating site we met at. I dont know why she is deleting it b/c I didn't ask. She told me I was the only person she was "sleeping with" and I told her she was the only person I was sleeping with too which is totally true. I checked last night and she really did delete her profile.

 

I haven't logged in my profile for over a week. But I've been thinking of logging in and adding a couple of new pics to my profile and messaging some other people to see what else is out there.

 

Do you think she is checking my profile? Would she get mad if she saw I logged in and added some new pics? Does she even have the right to get mad about that? Or is she probably not even checking it out and I'm completely bugging? Thanks

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She's sending you a pretty clear message that she likes you, she wants to be exclusive, and she wants to be your girlfriend. You should be honest with her and tell her that you don't feel the same, before she gets even more emotionally attached.

 

And yes, she will probably see that your profile is still active and that you are looking for something 'better.' Her feelings will be hurt and she will be angry. Not too hard to understand.

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She's sending you a pretty clear message that she likes you, she wants to be exclusive, and she wants to be your girlfriend. You should be honest with her and tell her that you don't feel the same, before she gets even more emotionally attached.

 

And yes, she will probably see that your profile is still active and that you are looking for something 'better.' Her feelings will be hurt and she will be angry. Not too hard to understand.

 

My thoughts exactly. I personally would like to hear what eventually happens in the situation.

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I laughed out loud. Are you really that callous?

 

I had a very similar reaction. Of course she would be upset with you if you did that. Just end things with her before you go ahead and play the field again.

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I know a lot of u are looking at me like I'm wrong but I just spoke with her a litle while ago and she told me this guy who is a broker that was showing her apartments this afternoon invited her for a drink after the last apartment they looked at and she went. I didn't get mad nor care. It just confirmed that now I really don't care about updating my profile

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I've run into this a few times in recent months; women who are f*cking some other guy but want to 'date' like it's all casual. Something about that whole dynamic seems off at my age, though perhaps not at the OP's age. Anyway, her actions don't sound too 'exclusive' to me. If you can f*ck her and not care who else she 'has drinks with', then more power to you. Get the pix loaded and go fishing :)

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Seems pretty obvious to me that she's just trying to make you jealous. It's not exactly mature, but she probably isn't comfortable with being any more direct than she already has been in trying to get you to commit to her. She has given you pretty clear signals that she is into you--when you didn't react favorably, she moved on to trying to shake you up to get your attention.

 

If you really don't care, just cut her loose and move on.

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I've run into this a few times in recent months; women who are f*cking some other guy but want to 'date' like it's all casual. Something about that whole dynamic seems off at my age, though perhaps not at the OP's age. Anyway, her actions don't sound too 'exclusive' to me. If you can f*ck her and not care who else she 'has drinks with', then more power to you. Get the pix loaded and go fishing :)

 

We are in our late 20's. her actions don't have to be exclusive b/c we never agreed we were so she is free to do as she wants I've come to terms with last night as is myself. I can def still f*ck her and not care who she has drinks with. maybe i see her as a friend w/bennys, or peotential g/f but we need to get to know each other better..im not trying to rush into a relationship been there and done that before...thanks for the support! def going to load up the pix and go fishing b/c at this point we only know each other for 1 month and hell she can't really get mad!

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Ok wow. I think that you are definitely not very invested. I saw you are not over your ex and perhaps that is the reason?

 

So I hope you are having sex with her then? One thing it seems you agreed with her on is to not have sex with others. Is that at least your plan?

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I agree with everything Stung said. She wants to date you seriously, that's why she told you about deleting her profile. If it was for another reason she wouldn't have mentioned it to you and also said she wasn't sleeping with anyone else, etc. She probably got too hopeful from you also saying that YOU aren't sleeping with anyone else. In her mind it means that's because you like her, not because you just haven't met anyone else yet that you want to sleep with.

 

The talk of drinks with a guy who likes her...yeah, a not so mature tactic to get you jealous. Basically, she will be pissed when she sees you've updated your profile. She may or may not confront you about it, but she will definitely be pissed and hurt. If she does confront you about it: perfect time to just tell her what you've said here, that you don't feel like you know her enough to want to be in a relationship with her and you don't know if you will ever feel that way. If she still wants to see you then that's on her once you've been completely honest about your lack of intentions.

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Ok wow. I think that you are definitely not very invested. I saw you are not over your ex and perhaps that is the reason?

 

So I hope you are having sex with her then? One thing it seems you agreed with her on is to not have sex with others. Is that at least your plan?

no the ex is totally out of the picture now

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I agree with everything Stung said. She wants to date you seriously, that's why she told you about deleting her profile. If it was for another reason she wouldn't have mentioned it to you and also said she wasn't sleeping with anyone else, etc. She probably got too hopeful from you also saying that YOU aren't sleeping with anyone else. In her mind it means that's because you like her, not because you just haven't met anyone else yet that you want to sleep with.

 

The talk of drinks with a guy who likes her...yeah, a not so mature tactic to get you jealous. Basically, she will be pissed when she sees you've updated your profile. She may or may not confront you about it, but she will definitely be pissed and hurt. If she does confront you about it: perfect time to just tell her what you've said here, that you don't feel like you know her enough to want to be in a relationship with her and you don't know if you will ever feel that way. If she still wants to see you then that's on her once you've been completely honest about your lack of intentions.

 

yeah from the jump i was straight up with her that im not rushing into things and im more of a go with the flow type of guy. yeah if it comes up ill say exactly what i told you guys on here.

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Wow, so these days, "talking to" and "sleeping with" are interchangeable?

 

That's news to me.

it all depends on your game. and of course the situation between two people..dont fall for your emotions b/c talking too and sleeping with is no different....thats why so many relationships fail b/c people move too fast in the first couple of months and realize that isnt what they werent looking for...slow motion works better oh yeah and dont hate the player hate the game as the quote goes sounds like you need to open up..trust me a lot more girls think with this mentality than you would imagine!

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No, relationships fail, when two people aren't compatible and/or truthful with each other.

 

If she took down her profile, it's pretty evident what her intentions are, so you really should stop playing stupid. You obviously want to keep your options open, so, just tell her that. The worse that could happen, is she breaks up with you, and you continue looking for other options.

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DazednConfused
We are in our late 20's. her actions don't have to be exclusive b/c we never agreed we were so she is free to do as she wants I've come to terms with last night as is myself. I can def still f*ck her and not care who she has drinks with. maybe i see her as a friend w/bennys, or peotential g/f but we need to get to know each other better..im not trying to rush into a relationship been there and done that before...thanks for the support! def going to load up the pix and go fishing b/c at this point we only know each other for 1 month and hell she can't really get mad!

 

In the world of online dating... when you begin seeing someone regularly and you or they actually take down their profile; communicating to you that they are doing so as well as informing "You are the only person I am sleeping with"... this is the equivalent of saying "I've chosen you".

 

I'm speaking in equivalents because on-line dating is a whole different dynamic and everyone needs a basic understanding of what's going on. Leave your profile up and continue talking with and dating others says... "You are a maybe, but I'm gonna continue shopping".

 

You say she's a potential relationship, and you are enjoying banging her obviously. She sent you very clear messages in "match-speak"; you at least half-agreed to the arrangement by saying "I'm not sleeping around either". She now believes that the two of you are exclusive. Mentioning having a drink w/ guy #2 was an attempt to get more attention and gauge your reaction as she is testing you.

 

If this girl truly has the "potential" that you speak of.... how can you think you are giving her a real chance if you are so focused on your continued shopping the site?

 

Hell yes, she is checking and hell yes, she will be pissed off. So much so in fact that you will likely lose your "potential" girlfriend, hurting her in the process.

 

I would suggest that you at the very least allow your dating profile to go dormant while you explore this girl and see what you have. Thousands of women on-line yes, hundreds that you may be attracted to by their pics, dozens who may be attracted to your pics as well, a few who you might actually meet if you work at it. But the ones that have mutual attraction, chemistry, and potential; very few indeed.

 

Don't toss a potentially beautiful thing over a selfish desire to keep seeing what's out there. No guts, no glory my friend... if it doesn't work, go back to the drawing board; it'll still be there.

 

-Dazed

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I've run into this a few times in recent months; women who are f*cking some other guy but want to 'date' like it's all casual. Something about that whole dynamic seems off at my age, though perhaps not at the OP's age. Anyway, her actions don't sound too 'exclusive' to me. If you can f*ck her and not care who else she 'has drinks with', then more power to you. Get the pix loaded and go fishing :)

 

I know WAY too many women in their late 30's doing this. Their banging one dude no strings attached but want me to take them out & treat them like we are on a date, but drop the "I don't want a relationship based on sex" routine.:rolleyes:

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Mutant Debutante
I know WAY too many women in their late 30's doing this. Their banging one dude no strings attached but want me to take them out & treat them like we are on a date, but drop the "I don't want a relationship based on sex" routine.:rolleyes:

 

Okay, and that sucks, but...I really don't think that's what's happening here. I gotta agree, this girl is trying to tell the OP that she wants to be his real girlfriend. She's not even sending hazy signals, her signals are really really face-slappingly clear.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if there never even a guy she had drinks with, or if she did have drinks with him it was because she figured he was totally harmless.

 

I agree with Dazed that when OP told her he wasn't sleeping with anyone else she assumed he meant he was exclusive with her, not that he just hadn't met anybody else who was giving it up yet. She took down her profile thinking he would take his down too and then they would have the relationship talk, instead he left his up and she felt upset and insecure. So now she's trying to make him jealous, make him realize that she still has options so he will "come to his senses" and "realize what he could lose". It's not direct, it's not mature, but 99.9% that's what is going on.

 

She definitely thinks you like her more than you actually do, OP, poor thing. She thought you would give a shyt when you heard another guy was circling around her.

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In the world of online dating... when you begin seeing someone regularly and you or they actually take down their profile; communicating to you that they are doing so as well as informing "You are the only person I am sleeping with"... this is the equivalent of saying "I've chosen you".

 

I'm speaking in equivalents because on-line dating is a whole different dynamic and everyone needs a basic understanding of what's going on. Leave your profile up and continue talking with and dating others says... "You are a maybe, but I'm gonna continue shopping".

 

You say she's a potential relationship, and you are enjoying banging her obviously. She sent you very clear messages in "match-speak"; you at least half-agreed to the arrangement by saying "I'm not sleeping around either". She now believes that the two of you are exclusive. Mentioning having a drink w/ guy #2 was an attempt to get more attention and gauge your reaction as she is testing you.

 

If this girl truly has the "potential" that you speak of.... how can you think you are giving her a real chance if you are so focused on your continued shopping the site?

 

Hell yes, she is checking and hell yes, she will be pissed off. So much so in fact that you will likely lose your "potential" girlfriend, hurting her in the process.

 

I would suggest that you at the very least allow your dating profile to go dormant while you explore this girl and see what you have. Thousands of women on-line yes, hundreds that you may be attracted to by their pics, dozens who may be attracted to your pics as well, a few who you might actually meet if you work at it. But the ones that have mutual attraction, chemistry, and potential; very few indeed.

 

Don't toss a potentially beautiful thing over a selfish desire to keep seeing what's out there. No guts, no glory my friend... if it doesn't work, go back to the drawing board; it'll still be there.

 

-Dazed

 

Couldn't speak truer words. I'd kill to be in your shoes right now. You have a KEEPER! You can take her and run like the wind or completely **** it all up (which you're proposing) and continue to risk it by playing the field.

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Couldn't speak truer words. I'd kill to be in your shoes right now. You have a KEEPER! You can take her and run like the wind or completely **** it all up (which you're proposing) and continue to risk it by playing the field.

 

Yeah she probably is a keeper but I dont get all emotionally caught up at first like most guys do, it's only been a month. I went back on the online dating site last night and sent out 8 emails to really hot chicks that seemed well grounded in life (i.e. education, job,etc) and received 4 responses by this morning! So my theory now is I have plenty of options to work with and I'm not selling myself short. I think if things are meant to be with this girl it will naturally fall into place and we will be bf/gf in the next few months if not so be it b/c this is a huge world with plenty of people.

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Mutant Debutante

You just can't be for real. "If it's meant to be?" It's obviously NOT meant to be because you don't even care that you're hurting her feelings and leading her on, at all. It's one thing to not be swept up in some big romance after a month, that's understandable. It's another thing to just not care that you're hurting another human being who is sleeping with you and thinks you care about them. Gross, dude.

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You just can't be for real. "If it's meant to be?" It's obviously NOT meant to be because you don't even care that you're hurting her feelings and leading her on, at all. It's one thing to not be swept up in some big romance after a month, that's understandable. It's another thing to just not care that you're hurting another human being who is sleeping with you and thinks you care about them. Gross, dude.

How is it gross? I am not sleeping with anybody else right now too. How can she get hurt? She isn't my G/F and can't get mad at all. Just like I can't if she wanted to see other people. I have no right to judge. I haven't lead her on at all, I never said we are "exclusive", never told her I love her, I told her I wasn't sleeping with anyone else which is totally true. I never said I was deleting my online profile or not "talking" with anybody else. I would never ever cheat on a girl that is my G/F and never have in my life so Im not as bad as you are painting me to be. I look at it like buying a new car. Before I INVEST my time and heart fully into one person I rather shop around and make sure I'm making the right choice that's all, rather than regret it later. I dont think it makes me a bad person.

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DazednConfused
How is it gross? I am not sleeping with anybody else right now too. How can she get hurt? She isn't my G/F and can't get mad at all. Just like I can't if she wanted to see other people. I have no right to judge. I haven't lead her on at all, I never said we are "exclusive", never told her I love her, I told her I wasn't sleeping with anyone else which is totally true. I never said I was deleting my online profile or not "talking" with anybody else. I would never ever cheat on a girl that is my G/F and never have in my life so Im not as bad as you are painting me to be. I look at it like buying a new car. Before I INVEST my time and heart fully into one person I rather shop around and make sure I'm making the right choice that's all, rather than regret it later. I dont think it makes me a bad person.

 

Okay man, whatever helps you sleep at night and look yourself in the eye every morning.

 

LOL, what in the world makes you think that she is playing by the same set of "rules" you seem to think are universal? She so CAN get mad, she so CAN make assumptions based upon your interactions with her. Very few women regard sex as simply body parts as many men can; if she went to bed w/ you, she is more than likely emotionally attached. Not sure why I'm wasting my breath on you anymore, you aren't gonna get it until you actually screw up a really good thing. Careful wording, omission, etc... "She can't get mad cuz I didn't actually say...." Catch a clue.

 

Take my advice or don't; no change to my standard of living... my only suggestion is to find in yourself some empathy for the woman who IS actually investing herself in YOU.

 

-Dazed

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