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He wont post pictures of me on Facebook. What does that mean?


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Old 19th August 2010, 8:23 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by Jasmine777 View Post
Hi everyone! My boyfriend of many years does not have one picture of me on facebook, my space and so forth.... I just looked it up today and saw that he does say that he is in a relationship but doesn't have any pictures of me on it. He has his ex girlfriends on there and to this day they still contact him and according to him he does not contact them back.....What do you make of this!?
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Originally Posted by D-Lish View Post
It says to everyone that is willing to check out his facebook that he's available.

If you've been together for a long time, and he's not acknowledging your relationship- or validating it with pics- he is still looking.
...She clearly states that he does infact say he is IN relationship. So, I'm not really quite sure how that says he's available to anyone and everyone who wants to "check out his facebook"?
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Old 19th August 2010, 9:11 AM   #17
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Er, do you know if he even has pictures of you to post? Only a few of the many people I hang out with ever take pictures, and even when they do they don't always post them on Facebook.

Facebook is not the end-all, be-all of social life...
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Old 19th August 2010, 10:46 AM   #18
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...She clearly states that he does infact say he is IN relationship. So, I'm not really quite sure how that says he's available to anyone and everyone who wants to "check out his facebook"?
Yes, but facebook allows you to specify another facebook user in your relationship status.

She clearly is another user.

I personally just leave that stuff blank.
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Old 19th August 2010, 11:00 AM   #19
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I think we over-inflate the power of FB. But OP, since you would like to know where you stand, add a pic of you two together and tag him. And then go from there...
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Old 19th August 2010, 11:01 AM   #20
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wow

Wow, Iam actually going through the same thing RIGHT NOW! Mine is a little deeper.

He is actually my fiance. We have only been engaged for 2 months. When we started dating I did ask him to change his status to IN A RELATIONSHIP which he did and I did also. You know that little red heart that pops up on your page after you do that? Well he deleted that but if you went into his INFO it showed he was in a relationship. The red heart just stands out immediately...people will notice that FIRST without having to go to the INFO tab. Anyway, I didn't say anthing, that wasn't a biggie. I'm telling you this because I'm leading up the steps to the other red flags.

He didn't have a picture of me up and that was no biggie at the time. We were just dating. I didn't have any pictures up of him as well. Then we became engaged. We took pictures of us together at random locations and the reason for that is because we were developing our honeymoon website. I ended up taking a single shot of him and he took 2 singles of me. He is a VERY ACTIVE user of facebook. Anyway one day he posted that one single pic of him. Ok, whatever, no big deal. Yeah, it would be NICE if he posted a picture of both of us, just to validate he is with someone, but ok, maybe he is trying to keep his personal life personal...however he DID have his other two exs (one girlfriend and the other an ex fiance) up at one time. It was actually his PROFILE PIC. Although we were now engaged he never changed his staus from in a relationship to engaged. Ok, no biggie, maybe he overlooked it. But what came to mind is the IN A RELATIONSHIP with not pics of WHO he is in a relationship with is very generic. Yes, I know I was in a relationship with him and our close friends did too...but also, could he be in a relationship with someone else too and she is thinking she is the only one with him?? Well, no biggie, it was just a thought, but what floored me was one day I posted something on his facebook wall. I started of with Baby and then mentioned I was praying for healing for his back, put down a scripture and ended it with I love you. Guess what happened? HE DELETED IT! WOW! Not only that, a few days BEFORE I made a cojple of comments on his post, and he ignored me, didn't adress me (they were pretty generic posts where I could have been anyone really). Also he typed about an incident that happened to him, and I was there along with his family, but he mentioned his family, but not me. Was I suspicious? You are darn tootin I was. I txt him twice, once one day and then the next and asked why he deleted my wall post. He said he did it by ACCIDENT! Ok, well maybe if he didn't ignore me on the previous posts I may accept that (I would just post something else up later to see if he ACCIDENTLY deleted it then at that time) but with both scenerios happening...no way! Anyway he got defensive, gave me reasons why he shouldn't have to put up my pics and blah blah blah. Ok fine. Either I put up with that, or I leave. What did I do? I left. It may sound petty, but its not. He was hiding me from someone or other females. Yes we are engaged, but doesn't that mean he's faithful. Come on, people that are married cheat! Well NOW while we are seperated he has me blasted all over his wall, changed his status to engaged and actually didn't delete the little heart on his page and even typed up an intro of who I was, what I mean to him and that we are getting married. We haven't talked about reconciling, actually I haven't spoken to him so he actually went ahead of me.

What you may want to consider doing as a test is posting something on his wall and make it known by what you say that you two are an item. Also, yeah, why not tag him and post a photo of you two on his wall. Make sure you don't go overboard with it because if so, he may get angry and delete it. Then you won't know if he deleted it because he was mad or if he was hiding you. Also I think he can even write your name of who he is in a relationship with. Now that is more specific and there wouldn't be no question to anyone who he is in a relationship with. Good luck to you. And yes, for him to still have his exs up is ridiculous. You are current, they are his past. They need to be removed and he should be showing you off. If he won't do that or make excuses on why he SHOULDN'T have to do that..be concerned...VERY CONCERNED!
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Old 19th August 2010, 11:47 AM   #21
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It's Facebook, people. Seriously. It's a website.

I don't like people cluttering my wall up with stuff that should be sent via private message, and I'll untag pictures of myself that are unflattering. EVERYONE does this. Stop freaking out.

And no, I'm not some crotchety old fart. I'm about to turn 25 so I'm in the age demographic that uses Facebook most. But I realize the real world and face-to-face interactions are more important than Farmville, Mafia Wars, or who found out a secret from whom because they spent 2 hours filling out surveys.

I use Facebook to share interesting music and funny YouTube videos, and I'll even use my social network for professional networking, so I don't want loads of trivial stuff clogging my wall if it could easily be sent in a message. The "issue" might just be that your significant others have a stance on FB similar to mine. It doesn't necessarily mean they hate your guts and want to break up.

I'm not the only one who feels this way. Presenting: Facebook Breaking Up Relationships (satire)
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Old 19th August 2010, 9:12 PM   #22
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Snowbell, you obviously don't have issues with Facebook and use it casually, as frankly it should be used, but that doesn't mean that other people behave the same way.

There are many affairs that have started on Facebook and Myspace. Men who "forget" to friend their GFs or fiances or "delete" their posts by "mistake" yet have exes plastered up there who send suggestive comments, are sending loud and clear subconscious messages about their priorities and it clearly is not with their girlfriends/fiances. My husband had a secret MS when we were dating where he had FOUR exes, one of whom posted a picture of a woman's butt, with a stiletto heel pulling off her panties, and sent him the message "Happy Hump Day"....Needless to say, I didn't think this was as casual or funny as he did...
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Old 25th August 2010, 8:09 PM   #23
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See it's the little things that speak louder then words....I guess I didn't go as deep as I should have in my post. The other day he told me that his exs still contact him on these sites which seems soooooo strange considering he has a serious of gf of two years now. That sparked something in me and made me think I should look on his fb and myspace considering I don't even have a profile and do not want one. He claims he hasn't talked to them in years.... I just thought it was strange that he had not one pic of me on there which gives those girls a message that maybe his relationship isnt serious....??
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Old 25th August 2010, 8:29 PM   #24
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See it's the little things that speak louder then words....I guess I didn't go as deep as I should have in my post. The other day he told me that his exs still contact him on these sites which seems soooooo strange considering he has a serious of gf of two years now. That sparked something in me and made me think I should look on his fb and myspace considering I don't even have a profile and do not want one. He claims he hasn't talked to them in years.... I just thought it was strange that he had not one pic of me on there which gives those girls a message that maybe his relationship isnt serious....??
yep.

and also - since he doesn't post any part of you as being a part of his life - it seems he wants to "appear" to the rest of the world as if you didn't exist.

that would be enough for me to tell him see ya - permanently.

really - it's hurtful that he would appear to all that he isn't connected in any way to someone he's dated long term. it's misleading at best.

have you checked at all to see if he contacts these gals by private messages within the website? facebook allows people to im and send private messages...
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Old 25th August 2010, 9:03 PM   #25
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Personally I hate facebook, but when i did use it and i was with my ex, we had the "In a relationship with xxx" up. I didnt go on it much every few days, and when i did i'd see talk about me on her page in very positive ways. (she was an avid FB user)

So the night that I caught her in a lie (before it all went down) I noticed she no longer had the "In a relationship with xxxx" up. So over the next few weeks i ask her multiple times to fix it, she says it isn't working, so we ended up splitting because it was obvious she was up to something, and wouldn't you guess a week later i see her "In a relationship with someone else"

Yeah she had been cheating.

Moral of the story is, Facebook itself may be stupid but someones actions over the site might reflect their intentions or attitudes towards other people.

I'd talk to him about it and not let him downplay it.
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Old 25th August 2010, 9:17 PM   #26
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He said he will up-date it this weekend and that he hasn't updated it in forever! I still think it's not nice not to post even one pic of us yet he posted nature and sunset pics on it that we took together! I don't care one bit about myspace or facebook that is why I am not signed up for it but the warning sign was that different women are contacting him on it from his past. Maybe I do need to get a life but my ex boyfriend was a cheater and I do not want to go through that again. My ex got furious when I put pictures of him on facebook when I was with him and yes he was a cheater.... This guy is great but do you think there is a part of him that doesn't want his ex to see a pic of me or is he very private? Relationships can be exhausting, lol.
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Old 25th August 2010, 9:21 PM   #27
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I wonder how this turned out. I'm usually not one for Facebook myself, but the girls I've been attracted to are on Facebook. So this would be good to know future reference.
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Old 26th August 2010, 1:07 AM   #28
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He said he will up-date it this weekend and that he hasn't updated it in forever! I still think it's not nice not to post even one pic of us yet he posted nature and sunset pics on it that we took together! I don't care one bit about myspace or facebook that is why I am not signed up for it but the warning sign was that different women are contacting him on it from his past. Maybe I do need to get a life but my ex boyfriend was a cheater and I do not want to go through that again. My ex got furious when I put pictures of him on facebook when I was with him and yes he was a cheater.... This guy is great but do you think there is a part of him that doesn't want his ex to see a pic of me or is he very private? Relationships can be exhausting, lol.
so why not open a facebook page and ask him to show his status as in a relationship with Jasmine777 (or your real first name, obviously).

why not? he IS in a relationship with you - see if he'll do it... so create the page before the weekend and make sure to send him the message that he has to either accept or ignore. THAT will also tell you if he's as serious about being truthful to you - and his facebook friends. it also allows you to post pictures YOU may have - TO his page. you send them and they show up to all his friends. now IF he were to delete them too - i'd say you have a problem on your hands - he's a player if he does that...
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Old 26th August 2010, 1:19 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by Jasmine777 View Post
Hi everyone! My boyfriend of many years does not have one picture of me on facebook, my space and so forth.... I just looked it up today and saw that he does say that he is in a relationship but doesn't have any pictures of me on it. He has his ex girlfriends on there and to this day they still contact him and according to him he does not contact them back.....What do you make of this!?
maybe he does not want his ex GFs or old high school friends to see how you look like and thus give them a means to talk sh*t! I am sure you are good looking ( all LS posters are ) but some people will find something to criticize-for the sake of criticizing.
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Old 26th August 2010, 5:20 AM   #30
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Facebook can definitely cause some drama.

Personally, I have a lot of work colleagues on Facebook -- people in my company, as well as people in my customer's company and people who work for our competition. I have my basic privacy level set to "Friends of Friends", but anything about politics, religion, interpersonal conflicts, or other things I wouldn't want my boss to see is "Friends Only" with the list of work colleagues excluded. Usually all my work colleagues see are news articles or the occasional music video.

When my dad was in the process of dying, for example, I posted quite a few things about the struggle to get him into hospice and my frustration at so many options being unavailable to us because he was HIV+. My bosses (because of FMLA paperwork) and a few close coworkers knew he was dying. But the first thing the rest of them saw about it was the night he died, when I posted a picture of him from when he was well and thanked everyone for their thoughts and prayers. It was the same picture used in his obituary.

But privacy settings being what they are, the "feed" items like the cutsey little heart would show up to even that restricted list (if you try to block a group from seeing those items, you block them from your wall entirely). I don't care to advertise to my work colleagues if I am in a relationship or if I break up with someone. It's honestly none of their business. I'd remove the heart, and if they cared enough to click on my profile they'd see that there had been a status change without it showing up on their feed.

Apparently some of the people who work for my customer are not so careful. I read one post from one of them that said "So I checked Facebook on my droid at work and learned that my wife has removed me as her husband and changed her last name on her profile. Great way to get the news, eh?" Great way to look like an ass is more like it. Turns out she was attempting to make her maiden name show up in searches along with her married name and screwed something up. He removed the post, but it was there for most of the night.

As far as pictures, I only had one that was ever taken with the ex I was last with in the nearly five years we dated. Someone else posted a pic of me and an ex -- from 12 years ago -- and tagged me in it, so it shows up on my profile. And yes, I still talk to that ex. If the pictures of him with his exes are not posted to his own profile but are just merely tagged with his name, I think someone might be making a mountain out of a molehill.
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