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He called but did not leave a message, would you call back?


conehead

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Went out on 2 dates with a guy (second day lasted 12 hours as we went to a theme park). Last night he called me at 8:30 and I missed the call but he did not leave a voicemail. I don't like that. I didn't call him back last night because of that.

 

What do you all think on guys who call but who don't leave message? This is the first time where I missed his call.

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No.

 

If he was a boyfriend, yes. But dating. No. Leave a damn message or text me or call back. I'm not calling back from the caller I.D. But then I don't like fellows who have the "I don't leave messages; people can see I called" philosophy with anyone who isn't a close friend; with close friends and significant others, I find that to be perfectly fine, but not with someone I'm getting to know. So, for me, it'd be on that basis.

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Im sorry but I find this very silly game playing - unless you are talking about calls to a landline. I only have a mobile and when I see a missed call on it I return it or acknowledge it by text as soon as. It's called common curtesy, no need to get uptight about it.

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No.

 

If he was a boyfriend, yes. But dating. No. Leave a damn message or text me or call back. I'm not calling back from the caller I.D. But then I don't like fellows who have the "I don't leave messages; people can see I called" philosophy with anyone who isn't a close friend; with close friends and significant others, I find that to be perfectly fine, but not with someone I'm getting to know. So, for me, it'd be on that basis.

 

although this is the status quo for most women I really think it's just another game/power maneuver. You would call back literally anyone else except a telemarketer or complete stranger? If I was him I wouldn't expect a call back but meh. You risk losing a guy you're interested in when playing games, so just be aware...

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Im sorry but I find this very silly game playing - unless you are talking about calls to a landline. I only have a mobile and when I see a missed call on it I return it or acknowledge it by text as soon as. It's called common curtesy, no need to get uptight about it.

 

Well said and it's from a British woman too, shocking. :laugh:

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Personally, I only return calls from 'missed calls' with people whom I have established business and/or personal relationships. Everything else is just electrons in a box. If a stranger or potential can't take ten seconds to say 'hi, could you call me back?', then that's instructive. I apply the same standard to myself. YMMV :)

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Well said and it's from a British woman too, shocking. :laugh:

 

I'm not British just live in London.

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Personally, I only return calls from 'missed calls' with people whom I have established business and/or personal relationships. Everything else is just electrons in a box. If a stranger or potential can't take ten seconds to say 'hi, could you call me back?', then that's instructive. I apply the same standard to myself. YMMV :)

 

Established is the key word here.

Established knows they just have to show up as a missed call & I will return it.

 

potential or some chick who only calls me every other month when she's bored?

Leave a message.

I've had to many women just seeking attention call & not leave a message.

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Lady vs Panda

I'd not expect everyone who I don't take the time to text or vmail to call me back, just because my number might appear in their caller ID. Likewise, I don't do the same. It's not game playing to assume that if someone wants to hear from me, they'll say so on my voicemail. Otherwise who knows if he really wanted to call or if he just butt-dialed when he sat on his phone? Or if he hung up because he changed his mind? It's like a freaking courtesy to not just assume what's on their mind when you don't know them that well, just because your caller ID caught them out.

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I'm not British just live in London.

 

Oh brilliant enough foreigner over here, taking our resources. ;)

 

Anyway at least you speak sense. I probably will leave a voicemail though just to see if it makes much difference, I never thought British girls would care whether or not you left a voicemail, but it seems our "cousins, allies, users" across the pond have a different attitude.

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I guess I just never assume that someone only dials my number because they sat on their phone by accident... Why make silly rules and restrictions to yourself? People are different. My current SO has never left me a VM because he knows Im not blind and can tell when he calls. Another doesn't have VM because it's a work phone too as well as private and he doesn't want a million messages. If a guy was silly enough to ignore my missed call because I didn't spell out that I wanted it returned I would think he was a retard. Yet to happen though.

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Personally if I miss a call from someone I know and they have not left a voice message I will always phone them back - as said before "common courtesy".

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I probably will leave a voicemail though just to see if it makes much difference, I never thought British girls would care whether or not you left a voicemail, but it seems our "cousins, allies, users" across the pond have a different attitude.

 

Appears so. It's not even something I would give much thought to. Then again I don't give out my number to any Tom, Dick and Harry either.

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Enchanted Girl

If it's important to you that he leaves messages, then talk to him about it. You can't expect him to live up to standards that he doesn't even know exist.

 

I don't know. Too many fights and problems happen in relationships because of assumptions and lack of communication.

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12 hours at a theme park and he couldn't think of one thing to say when he called and she didn't answer. That's telling, IMO. BTW, I've been purse-dialed and butt dialed; I know *because* it went to VM. Stbx was notorious for this.

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Lady vs Panda
I guess I just never assume that someone only dials my number because they sat on their phone by accident... Why make silly rules and restrictions to yourself? People are different. My current SO has never left me a VM because he knows Im not blind and can tell when he calls. Another doesn't have VM because it's a work phone too as well as private and he doesn't want a million messages. If a guy was silly enough to ignore my missed call because I didn't spell out that I wanted it returned I would think he was a retard. Yet to happen though.

 

 

I get butt-dialed or purse-dialed at least once a week. I purse-dial people all the time when I forget to lock my phone. I know plenty of people who start to call someone, and then change their mind. I and almost all the people I know will often call someone if we're sort of bored and half-inclined to talk to them, but if we don't really have much to say and it's not an important call, we'll hang up rather than leave a message; if it's important and there's a reason to call us back, we leave a message. Obviously if there is no voicemail, that's an entirely different situation and not really relevant to this.

 

It's not a freaky train of thought that if you don't know someone well, and their number shows up on your caller ID but they don't actually leave a message, to think that they were ambivalent about whether they wanted to talk to you or not.

 

If someone can't be bothered to take five seconds to leave a message on the medium I pay for that is provided for that purpose, which is actual common courtesy, I can't guarantee that I will take the time to call them back. Particularly if it's someone I've just gone out with once. It's not some silly rule I twist myself up to live by, it's just a fact. Not leaving a message? That's cool with me, I assume you didn't really want to talk to me that bad. It's not a big deal, I have a lot of other people to talk to and places to be. If it's my best friend, or my actual SO, sure most of the time I will call back. But really, I'm a busy person, I don't always manage to return every one of my actual messages. I'm a lot less likely to prioritize it as a call-back if it wasn't an important enough call to rate leaving a text or a vmail.

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Enchanted Girl
Whoever said Americans lacked any basic logic and intelligence is quite possibly correct. :laugh:

 

Yes, all Americans are stupid because one of them didn't agree with you on one issue on an internet forum.

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It's hysterical how the first few people to jump on this were women assuming he's trying to mind game the OP. Over ONE call.

 

At 8:30 at night after a long shift I am dead tired. Maybe he called just because he wanted to talk to you, but since you didn't answer he decided to go to bed?

 

The way people over analyze even the smallest of things is astounding. I guess people can spin anything into a mind game if they really want to.

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The last guy I dated never left a VM. I always returned his call. I knew it was his landline and for whatever reason, he must not like to leave VM's. It never bothered me in the least. I guess I don't see the issue.

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Yes, all Americans are stupid because one of them didn't agree with you on one issue on an internet forum.

 

Well there is Vietnam and Afghanistan that reinforces such views, but Politics aside, I hardly ever leave a voicemail is there any need too, seriously? I've called, you know I've called, if you don't call me back, I'll try once more and if no one picks up, I'll delete the number and go out and find someone else. Simples! :)

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Well there is Vietnam and Afghanistan that reinforces such views, but Politics aside, I hardly ever leave a voicemail is there any need too, seriously? I've called, you know I've called, if you don't call me back, I'll try once more and if no one picks up, I'll delete the number and go out and find someone else. Simples! :)

 

If you really wanted to leave politics aside you wouldn't have attempted one last childish eye gouge. Really dude, grow up.

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Ever thought he was shy and tongue-tied, and while brave enough to call you chickened out when the voice mail came up?

 

If nothing else, I'd send a text saying "hey, saw you called -- what's up?"

 

I don't normally respond to texts, for example, because I hate them and think they're only really good for conveying information, not conversation. But I'll either call them back if they request it in the text, or if it was just a "saying hi" type text the next time I talk to them I'll let them know I got it. But that's how I handle texting with both my friends and my dates.

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This is silly. Actions speak louder than words. They took the time to call you so obviously they want to speak with you. Why do you need a vm or text in addition to that? Call them back.

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