Jump to content

ugh...being put on the back burner!


Recommended Posts

The background:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 1 yr. He is 27 and I am 30. We have things in common; however, there are many ways in which we are very different. I am definitely in love with the guy and he says he loves me as well and by his actions I do feel that he loves me. We have been through one major ruff patch about 6 months back. I have made it perfectly clear of my expectations for the type of relationship I am looking for. I am not looking to just be with someone. I am looking for a meaningful relationship, essentially a partner in life. He has told me he is also looking for the same type of relationship. We live about 15 miles apart and have vastly different careers. We both have strong personalities and don't have a problem with providing our own opinions. We understand the communication is sometimes a problem.

 

The dilemma:

He is a pretty laid back person...which I generally enjoy because I can be high strung at times. However, recently he has made me pretty angry and instead owning up to his mistakes and dealing with the situation he decided to act like a teenager.

 

The situation:

This morning he left on a 4 day long hiking vacation. We agreed that Saturday we would spend some time together before he left. We planned that he would give me a call after he dropped his things off at his parents house in the morning on Saturday. He calls at 2 pm, by this time I have started running my errands because why should I sit around and wait. I told him I would call him when I got home. I gave him a call and he was having brake problems on his vehicle and fixing them. No biggie, he said he would call me when he was done. I didn't from him and finally call, all I got was "I am at the bar drinking and I will call you later and he hung up. At this point I was pretty mad. He never called yesterday and left on his trip this morning. He had done something similar before and I explained to him that I didn't appreciate being left in the dark and that if a situation did arise then all he had to do was give me a call. He said he would work on it. Recently his behaviour has reverted back to acting like a teenager. I am questioning where or not this relationship is even worth it. We have been together for a while. Is this what I have to look forward to if we get married or maybe have children? Some insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Link to post
Share on other sites
ConflictedGuy27

short answer: of course this is what you should expect if you two got married. having been married and divorced 3 years later, I'm here to tell you that people are an AS IS proposition. in general, people don't change; nor should they, if they're not personally motivated to do so.

 

so your question is a rather valid (and very personal) one: can I deal with such behavior for the remainder of my life, without nagging him or becoming a high strung bitch about it?

 

if the answer is no, then there you go.

 

if it's yes, then chill out, go have a margarita or 2 and have a welcome home party waiting for him when he gets back.

Link to post
Share on other sites
meerkat stew

Is this a singular thing, or does he regularly do things like that "bar blowoff?" I'd break up over something like that at any less than the year mark, tough to tell in your situation. Life's too short for that kind of petty BS.

 

Will ask is it possible you were throwing some attitude his way over the fact that he was late on Sat? If he was truly held up, and you were throwing tude back at him, then this whole thing could be a case of both of you stressing before a brief separation (it happens) and you just need to sit down and talk it out on his return. If it's habitual on his part though, you don't need that in your life.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...