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First date cuddle and kissed but told no spark?!?


wolfiii

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Well firstly Im new to the dating scene. Its on odd one to be honest Ive been ill most of my adult life (in my 30s) and ontop of that I have amnesia from late teens to 30 due to a coma so things aint easy so I am starting out a new. Ive got back on my feet (I still use a wheelchair out of house but wander about with a crutch inside) and started dating in last few weeks. Everyone says Im a good looking guy what has a lot to offer, kind, intelligent etc.. so thought Id jump in and try to meet someone and yea after intially being worried Im confident, like myself and happy to meet someone different every weekend now (I want a long term relationship tho I just mean I am not scared to meet new people). And no I aint cocky Ive had years of not liking the mirror so Im just glad finally I have confidence again. :)

 

So as things are still difficult going to pubs etc..Ive joined net dating sites.

 

Met a couple of ladies. First one no spark for both. Second she felt no spark so rejection. Usual situation first date sat and chatted etc.. all friendly and kept intouch as friends thats ok. Thats ok you get rejected you move on part of it most of time in dating.

 

The one thats sort of thrown us as I am new to all this is the one this weekend. Met someone they came to house and we chatted for about 2hours non stop. Got on very well thought she was attractive and funny etc.. and instead of going out we decided to watch a film. Im still a romantic not that I can remember much pre coma with dating so I offered to put my arm around her she happily accepted and we ended up cuddled up for nearly 3hours and I wrapped my hand around hers.

 

Thought we ended on a great note. Went to open the door to go thru and looked at each other and ended up kissing her a couple of times. Then as we went thru to leave I did it again 3 more seperate (opening doors going back for more!) times just to see if it wasnt out of shock etc.. then wished her good night.

 

When she got back home I told her how great I thought she was and she said I was such a good looking bloke and kind etc... and funny but there was no spark so she couldnt offer more than friendship if we met again.

 

Im sort of lost now what I should do. Im not sure if I should push the issue and ask more as I found her attractive but to me I cant get a spark till a few dates or was she just lonely and wanted a cuddle etc.. or what I should do. Where still talking so I dont know whether it is best to leave it as the spark phrase can be used as a get out for so many reasons.

 

I did ask her if it was because of my health etc.. but she told me not to beat myself up about it as it was nothing like that just no spark and that was a very good looking bloke and I should start thinking I was all the time! It is difficult tbh as I cant remember sex due to amnesia or any of my relationships when I was younger so even when I kissed her it was like I was kissing for the first time so that sort of made me worried it was that (she knows though as I told her all this during the date before we even cuddled up!).

 

TBH I dont know what to think. I have got a backbone and a broad shoulder with life so nothing phases me but Im just very confused why someone would let you wrap themeselves around you all night and kiss if you not intrested. Maybe Im the soft type I dunno I aint the typical guy what does one night stands etc.. I know if I had tried that on with the other two lasses I would have got hit.

 

Anyway any thoughts as I will shut up now :laugh:

Edited by wolfiii
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Untouchable_Fire

Anyway any thoughts as I will shut up now :laugh:

 

I'd let her go and move on. The bonus is that you got some practice kissing. ;)

 

I've gone much farther than that only to find the next day she didn't feel a "spark" whatever that means. It's always a shock to me because I'm really attractive and have extremely good conversation skills.

 

With women the reasons they don't feel a spark are so varied and often odd that you can't blame just one thing. Maybe you were not funny enough... or she didn't like your car...:laugh: ... or she didn't feel you had enough in common... or too much in common... ect.

 

What I have learned is this... don't waste your time and effort on anyone who doesn't return your feelings. Also... I think it might have been the kiss of death not going out... next time... I would not opt for staying in like that. Unless that's how you want your future life to be...

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I have stepped back from it as Im pretty rational with how I view life (Im well known with people I meet that I become a blumming shrink to go thru their issues not with this lass though) so I have sort of reliased whatever I think might be wrong its just my own insecurites with myself and that she probably just didnt fancy me it happens.

 

I have talked to her since and she seems ok with us so Im probably in the friend zone. I think she might have been more miffed that I didnt jump to kiss her sooner I dunno.

 

Thats one thing I have said at least I got some blumming practise lol :laugh: and wish Id done it sooner and I got a :) in response so dunno.

 

As for staying in that was her idea I was happy to go for a meal I got dressed up for that as the intention after we got chatting to do that. She knew this but wanted to stop in.

 

Could have been a casual thing maybe and I didnt take the chance as was abit shy.

 

Im just glad Ive said it on here because I know what Im like Id go start asking her on MSN cas Im too open and honest and have massive issues holding back with stuff.

 

Just need to step back and away I think :)

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Untouchable_Fire
I have stepped back from it as Im pretty rational with how I view life (Im well known with people I meet that I become a blumming shrink to go thru their issues not with this lass though) so I have sort of reliased whatever I think might be wrong its just my own insecurites with myself and that she probably just didnt fancy me it happens.

I have talked to her since and she seems ok with us so Im probably in the friend zone. I think she might have been more miffed that I didnt jump to kiss her sooner I dunno.

Thats one thing I have said at least I got some blumming practise lol :laugh: and wish Id done it sooner and I got a :) in response so dunno.

As for staying in that was her idea I was happy to go for a meal I got dressed up for that as the intention after we got chatting to do that. She knew this but wanted to stop in.

Could have been a casual thing maybe and I didnt take the chance as was abit shy.

Im just glad Ive said it on here because I know what Im like Id go start asking her on MSN cas Im too open and honest and have massive issues holding back with stuff.

Just need to step back and away I think :)

 

I can tell that you are an open book so to speak. I'm the same way... and it can be a huge turn-off at the start of a relationship.

 

I've been pretty successful at turning it to my favor, by just being coy and teasing a little.

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