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How can I tell if the girl I am dating is promiscuous??


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Old 15th May 2010, 12:22 PM   #1
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How can I tell if the girl I am dating is promiscuous??

It has been crossing my mind fairly a lot. Its weird. I'll give you a quick rundown and you can make a judgment or tell me anything I should look out for. I really just don;t want to be wasting my time with a girl who is like that.

She hangs out with other girls who are definitely a bit slutty. We had sex fairly quickly after meeting. Like two make out sessions then sex the third or fourth time. I didn't even take her out on dates, we just met up at a bar the first few times. Doesn't really dress like a slut. Had 2 boyfriends for extended periods of time before me, but had like a year and a half break before me. Other things like pictures of her really drunk on facebook at clubs and dancing. One more thing is I did not go to her high school, she went to another school in the area. So when we are at bars she knows a lot of guys, not that its bad but when you know more dudes than chicks youre usually a slut. I know a bunch of guys try to get with her at the bars, but I'm there so she always pushes them off. But they hit on her like its nothing.

Just slightly confused, I could take her or leave her but its getting to the point where I want to pick a direction its been 2 months now.
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Old 15th May 2010, 12:24 PM   #2
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any tests i can implement? just something I should be attuned to. I don't want to look through her phone thats sleezy.
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Old 15th May 2010, 12:27 PM   #3
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Have you tried asking her yet?
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Old 15th May 2010, 12:31 PM   #4
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If you like her and enjoy being with her, is it important? Maybe she went through a wild streak and is looking to find something more stable?

Why do you care?
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Old 15th May 2010, 12:33 PM   #5
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The one thing I always fail to understand is why this matters so much to some guys. The amount of men a girl has been with does not speak to her intelligence, ability to be faithful, kindness, loyalty, or anything else really other than her comfort level with herself sexually. How do I know this? I am a living example of it. The only thing you deserve to know about her past in a sexual way is that she doesn't have an STD, which can easily be found by getting tested.

So to answer your question, there are no simple tests you can do to figure this out. I think the solution is to work on your own self esteem and jealousy issues.
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Old 15th May 2010, 12:36 PM   #6
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Are you going to bang her ?
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Old 15th May 2010, 12:43 PM   #7
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What are you afraid of?
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Old 15th May 2010, 2:52 PM   #8
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How old is she? If she is too young, perhaps, it is a period of testing reality and trying things. Why does she go to bars so often? What does she like there? Ask her what she thinks about exclusivity in general (not with you and not right now). Did she cheat on her BF? What does she think about NSA sex and FWBs stuff?
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Old 15th May 2010, 3:05 PM   #9
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i would like to know what is her secret to getting hit on so much.
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Old 15th May 2010, 3:08 PM   #10
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Who cares? Your dick didn't care the first time you had sex with her. So why now?
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Old 15th May 2010, 3:36 PM   #11
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Well OP, on the other side of the coin, if she didn't drink and didn't hang around with 'slutty girls' and you hadn't yet had sex with her because she 'isn't that kind of girl', would you be with her?

You can't have it both ways, though, at your age, you probably figure you can.

If she's truly promiscuous in an unhealthy way, meaning promiscuity is a threat to a stable and healthy relationship, you'll see signs of it every day in how she interacts with others and how men respond to her signals. What you do with that information is up to you. Her numbers, absent STD's resulting, are irrelevant. How she treats you as her partner is relevant. How's that going?
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Old 15th May 2010, 8:04 PM   #12
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We had sex fairly quickly after meeting.
Doesn't that tend to indicate she's the exact same level of slutty (or not-slutty) as you?
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Old 16th May 2010, 12:01 AM   #13
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I know its being a hypocrite. I know it isn't right. I fully agree. But my feeling is if I want to seriously date her these concerns will have to be squashed. Most guys wouldn;t want to be in the dark about the woman they are with. If I found out 6 months down the road she slept with 40 dudes in college, im sorry to say, but ya that might change things. It just the way I am wired, and im probably not alone.

I should mention she wants us to be super serious. Which is a decent sign. But I can;t help the suspicion.
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Old 16th May 2010, 12:35 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by mlh5046 View Post
I know its being a hypocrite. I know it isn't right. I fully agree. But my feeling is if I want to seriously date her these concerns will have to be squashed. Most guys wouldn;t want to be in the dark about the woman they are with. If I found out 6 months down the road she slept with 40 dudes in college, im sorry to say, but ya that might change things. It just the way I am wired, and im probably not alone.

I should mention she wants us to be super serious. Which is a decent sign. But I can;t help the suspicion.
Here's a suggestion. If you don't feel comfortable pursuing this then don't. Your suspicions won't just suddenly vanish. Instead, maybe look into pursuing another girl who you're comfortable with.
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Old 16th May 2010, 2:12 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by amymarieca View Post
The one thing I always fail to understand is why this matters so much to some guys. The amount of men a girl has been with does not speak to her intelligence, ability to be faithful, kindness, loyalty, or anything else really other than her comfort level with herself sexually. How do I know this? I am a living example of it. The only thing you deserve to know about her past in a sexual way is that she doesn't have an STD, which can easily be found by getting tested.

So to answer your question, there are no simple tests you can do to figure this out. I think the solution is to work on your own self esteem and jealousy issues.
Rightly or wrongly, men generally do assume that a woman with a promiscuous past is unlikely to remain faithful because she likes to be with many different men.
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