femaletroubles Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 Ok so my GF and i broke up, i stone walled her, acted like she did not exist for a few days. I wouldn't even respond to her when she asked questions, wouldn't make eye contact etc...I was pissed she broke it off then yesterday, she comes into my room in the library, and was like "so is this how it's going to be?" i basically told her i have nothing to say to you she said she wanted to talk about it, and basically we talked about what happened, and got back together. (i thought/think she was with someone else while dating me, which she vehemently denies) now today, we talked on the phone at 12pm, and she said she was going to make herself lunch and call me right back...never happened now 7 hours later My point is this is the back story. She was burned by her last ex. She does not want me to meet her mother. She said she wouldn't want me to meet her until she gets engaged. I told her when we were getting back together, that all of my insecurities in the relationship was because she wasn't showing any interest, that she would take hours to respond to texts/not pick up my calls. I'm wondering if i should just call her mother, and introduce myself. Say something along the lines of, "I'm dating your daughter, i really like her, she was hurt by her last ex, and consequently she doesn't want me to meet you. But from what i've heard you sound like a very loving mother. I just wanted to call and introduce myself and look forward to meeting you when she's ready" obviously i would ask her mother to keep this between her (mother) and I I want to do this, because i want to make sure that she is in fact ONLY dating me. I'm trying to believe her, but the distance makes me worry. I told her i need reassurance she wants to be with me, she said she gives that to me by spending time with me (i asked her to sleep over last night, and she didn't...it's the weekend too) Doesn't sound good, any thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
Author femaletroubles Posted May 8, 2010 Author Share Posted May 8, 2010 for a girl that has her phone on her 24/7...takes it into the bathroom when she's not wearing clothes...to take this long to respond to texts/calls?? if we're studying i'll see her play with her phone every 10 minutes, takes FOREVER to get back to me if i ask her, she'll say oh i fell asleep/lying on the couch etc...always some excuse. maybe it's true maybe it isn't, i frankly don't know anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Author femaletroubles Posted May 8, 2010 Author Share Posted May 8, 2010 how am i supposed to be able to sit here and study and concentrate, when i wondering where she is/why she doesn't return my calls--if she's on a date with another guy my trust in the relationship has flown out the window, i told her i was insecure in her interest level, yet she's doing nothing to assuage my concerns. Link to post Share on other sites
Pfiend101 Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 Sounds exactly like the way my ex was acting towards the end. Be CAREFUL it sounds like she wants someone to have around just for the hell of it. To not meet her mother unitl she's engaged is ridiculous. I'm not trying to dissapoint you hear but from what I've found with long delays of texting and whatnot is that there may be another guy in the picture. I'd cut her lose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author femaletroubles Posted May 8, 2010 Author Share Posted May 8, 2010 she just sent me a txt, took 6 hours to get a response...she said she doesn't feel well i called her to say i hope she feel better, she's "watching a movie with her family" couldn't have sent me a return text/call in the last 6 hours? the distance messes with my mind. Doesn't want to sleep over with me? /end rant Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Probably best if you break up if she a) dumped you b) is cheating on you c) hides you from her family Link to post Share on other sites
Austen Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 DO NOT CALL HER MOTHER! There is nothing good about this relationship and you need to walk away. She's not into you. If she were, she'd be responding to you almost immediately. If you think she's seen or is seeing someone else, then there's a 99.9% chance that it's true. You're only headed for worse heartache if you stay with this girl. And DO NOT CALL HER MOTHER! It's disrespectful and desparate. The only thing that will come of calling her mother is a major loss of your dignity, which is already at a low ebb from the sound of things. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and instead of wasting your time worrying about a dead-end relationship, invest that time in finding someone who will appreciate you and return your texts/calls! Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 so she broke up with you & you stonewalled her, & she was desperate to talk to you. She came crawling back, then as soon as she knew she had you she started ignoring you? If a chick wants to be with you, they will be with you. it's really that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author femaletroubles Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 so she broke up with you & you stonewalled her, & she was desperate to talk to you. She came crawling back, then as soon as she knew she had you she started ignoring you? If a chick wants to be with you, they will be with you. it's really that simple. yeah, calling the mother probably not a good idea. I wanted to get some feedback on that, the fact that she won't introduce me to her mother bothers me. Even though she "says" that her mother and brother know that she's dating me. She told me that her mother asked her flat out and she told her to mind her own business. But if her mother asks where she was, she'll told me she'll say she was with me. At 25 i can understand the "stop being nosy mom" attitude. But the "i'm never introducing anyone to my mother until i get engaged again" shows some serious trust issues after the last guy (practically engaged). She said the hardest part of breaking up with him was having her family ask all about it, and she doesn't want that happening again. Phineas: exactly, now that she knows we're back together she pulls this distance crap, probably trying to play games to make me chase her --not happening. She called me a few times last night to talk, bc she couldn't sleep. That was fine. She called this morning, then said she'd "call me right back" that was at 10am, it's now 3pm. We had plans to go to the library to get our work done... I'm done caring, if i care i start to worry/wonder why she doesn't bother sending a "hey i'm busy ttyl" txt from now on, i'm just going to let her initiate all the calls/txts. I'm doing my own thing, i'm doing what's best for me. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 yeah, calling the mother probably not a good idea. I wanted to get some feedback on that, the fact that she won't introduce me to her mother bothers me. Even though she "says" that her mother and brother know that she's dating me. She told me that her mother asked her flat out and she told her to mind her own business. But if her mother asks where she was, she'll told me she'll say she was with me. At 25 i can understand the "stop being nosy mom" attitude. But the "i'm never introducing anyone to my mother until i get engaged again" shows some serious trust issues after the last guy (practically engaged). She said the hardest part of breaking up with him was having her family ask all about it, and she doesn't want that happening again. Phineas: exactly, now that she knows we're back together she pulls this distance crap, probably trying to play games to make me chase her --not happening. She called me a few times last night to talk, bc she couldn't sleep. That was fine. She called this morning, then said she'd "call me right back" that was at 10am, it's now 3pm. We had plans to go to the library to get our work done... I'm done caring, if i care i start to worry/wonder why she doesn't bother sending a "hey i'm busy ttyl" txt from now on, i'm just going to let her initiate all the calls/txts. I'm doing my own thing, i'm doing what's best for me. Thats exactly the medicine I would prescribe. Thank god you didn't call her mother that would have been a major, major error. She sounds like she is the kind of person who says "Yeah, whatever" a lot. So do your own thang! Link to post Share on other sites
Author femaletroubles Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 Thats exactly the medicine I would prescribe. Thank god you didn't call her mother that would have been a major, major error. She sounds like she is the kind of person who says "Yeah, whatever" a lot. So do your own thang! haha this she is, so i'm going to take her advice into my life, i'm going to do what's best for me. My happiness is now #1, hers is a close #2 yeah, i'm still bothered by the fact she doesn't want me to meet her mom, keep thinking it means she doesn't see us long term...that's fine next time she says let's go out to eat...i'm saying sorry i don't have the money to do that as often as before. Never once has she offered to pay, or even pay for her self, or the tip etc...she thinks she's some princess que sera sera /not trying anymore Link to post Share on other sites
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