The most important make or break thing in a relationship for a guy is...

[SomewhatExperienced]

SMELL.

 

I know this is weird. I had a very interesting conversation over some drinks with friend, and the guys all very firmly agreed (interestingly the women didn't know what we were talking about), that if a girl doesn't smell right to us, the relationship will NEVER go the distance. None of us had really ever thought about this so explicitly, but when it came up it seemed so clear to all of us. It was a very enlightening conversation to say the least.

 

And I stand by this. The relationship will not necessarily end because of smell alone, but it could never last forever. And I'm not talking about if the girl has BO or if you don' like her perfume or soap, etc... I'm talking about the natural scent, particularly, her hair gives off. If I can't cozy up to my woman and nestle my nose is her hair and not adore the way she smells, I couldn't spend the rest of my life with her, period. Maybe it's dumb. Maybe it's shallow. Maybe it has to do with genetic compatibility and pheromones and such, but all I know now is that its extremely important and I couldn't ever be convinced otherwise.

 

ANNNND discuss.

Edited April 22, 2010 by SomewhatExperienced

[norajane]

Um, hair smells like shampoo, if it's clean. If it's not clean, then yes, you get natural scent, but is that when you are doing your nuzzling? When her hair is dirty?

 

Just saying...what you think is natural scent may not be. Just like all those guys who have no idea how much make-up is used to create the "natural, no make-up" look.

[annxxdisaster]

Looks likes someone beat you to this awesome revelation pal...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pheromone

[SomewhatExperienced]

Um, hair smells like shampoo, if it's clean. If it's not clean, then yes, you get natural scent, but is that when you are doing your nuzzling? When her hair is dirty?

 

Just saying...what you think is natural scent may not be. Just like all those guys who have no idea how much make-up is used to create the "natural, no make-up" look.

 

I disagree. You can clearly tell the difference between the synthetic fragrances that are made to smell somewhat perfumey/fruity/soapy, and the natural fragrance someone gives off.

 

Do this. Take you finger tips, not the nails but just the pads in of your fingers and rub them into your scalp with enough pressure to pick up some on the oils and smell it. Yes. This is weird. But it has a distinct scent that is you.

[SomewhatExperienced]

Looks likes someone beat you to this awesome revelation pal...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pheromone

 

Yes, I realize. In fact, you'll see in my original posting I make a reference to pheromones...pal.

 

What I'm saying is that this is a tangible human experience. Plus, it's generally regarded that the scent of pheromones are odours that are perceived unconsciously. I'm talking about a scent that is obvious that you either like or don't like (not implying that pheromones aren't involved).

[marsle85]

Hmm... interesting. There are some people who smell (different)- and then there are people who to me, smell BAD. It's not stench, sweat or anything... it's just their SCENT- and I find it repelling.

 

I would not be able to even date these people.

 

IN FACT- there was a guy- sarcastic, sexy, intelligent.. pursuing me, and I let it go SOLELY because I was NOT into his smell.

 

Odd.

[phineas]

The potions, lotions, creams, moisturizers, & hair crap chicks slather on themselves makes me want to gag.

 

I work in an office with 100's of women & some of them I can't even stand in their cube.

 

These are women in their 20's & 30's.

 

I could never date someone who coats themselves like that.

[kimbop]

Many guys have said that I smell nice but because I have the guy repellent personality of Liz Lemon (from 30 Rock) and Karen (from Grace and Will)......well without the rich part, I tend to befriend them and they don't see me as anything more as that. So I don't know about your theory.

[aerogurl87]

I agree, I can't date a guy if his natural scent is off. I mean not necessarily like he smells like he hasn't showered in days, but more like the pheromones he gives off. I also can't date guys with ugly noses, don't know why but if his nose is ugly, it's not gonna happen.

[Kamille]

I'm part of the scent is important club. I wouldn't say it directly makes or break a relationship for me - but the natural scent of a man will either turn me on or turn me off. I have been in a relationship with a man who's scent turned me off and we struggled with my low sex-drive throughout the relationship: and this made everything else complicated.

 

But I've noticed that I seem to be more sensitive to scent than most people. Like right now I can imagine and almost smell my bf's delicious scent . And, in past break ups, I would tell my friends: "I miss his scent so much" and a great many of them didn't understand what I was talking about.

 

(I was actually thinking about starting a thread about scent today because I just spent a lot of long hours in a car with a coworker who's scent made me slightly nauseous. It wasn't even a strong scent it's just... I don't know... a scent that really turns me off - and I have absolutely nothing against him and we're not interested in each other, so really it's not about making an excuse.)

[Green]

I give off a smell olright. But yes when I was single I would always sniff the air when a hot girl was close... it always smelled great. I love the way my gf smells, but I also loved the way she looked and sounded before I smelled her. I really love getting her scent all over me.

[Kamille]

Are these so called pheromones universally good or universally bad? Do some men smell universally good or universally bad to almost all women?

 

I don't think it's universal. I seem to recall the theory going something like: 1. the more different the genes, the stronger the baby will be. 2. So we tend to be turned on by people who are very different from us genetically. 3. So it would go to follow that what one person finds to be a good scent wouldn't work for someone else.

 

Another theory is the 'garlic theory' if you will : people who eat similar kinds of foods are drawn to each other (a naturopath friend of mine holds this view). So say I eat loads garlic and you don't, you might find my scent repulsive. But if the next guy eats lots of garlic, then he won't even notice that as part of my scent. Not sure there's any scientific backing to this theory though.

[spiderowl]

Wow, do I understand what you mean. That's absolutely right! I'm going through this same thing, lack of attraction to smell. It has nothing to do with cleanliness and everything to do with the person's natural smell. Maybe it is pheremones, something genetic, I don't know, but it's incredibly influential. It's something very primitive and powerful that tells us that two people are not the right long-term mates for each other. How I wish it could be ignored!

[xxoo]

Scent is incredibly important!

 

Every woman who has posted in this thread has said smell is very important.

 

I still have to wonder if there's a small number of men whos "natural smell" is "off" to almost all women. I hope it's not true, but seeing what I do here and other places on the net I have to wonder.

 

So many women act frustrated that you don't want this "great" man just becuase of his smell, but it must really really stink to be that man who keeps getting pushed aside and is thinking he will grow old alone.

 

Nah, I think it is individual, and everyone smells great to someone. I believe it is a bad idea to ignore smell, though...esp for women, because I read a lot about women losing attraction for their spouses once married a few years with kids. I wonder if the smell is a factor at that point. I've been with my partner nearly 2 decades, had some kids, and still want to eat him up anytime I nuzzle into his neck (sniiiiifffffffffffff ).

 

Also, I've read that birth control pills can affect a woman's perception of smell and lead to her choosing a partner who smells great until she stops taking BCP. Something to be aware of when choosing a long-term partner!