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Shes not calling after 2nd date, how do I regain interest?


DeadlyAvenger

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DeadlyAvenger

I really need some advice! I got talking to a girl thru a dating site hear in the uk (for uk indians). During the first week we we spoke 1st thru email, then phone over the course of a few days, we really clicked, and arranged to meet on the saturday night.

 

The date went "really" well, i was cocky, cool and funny,we really clicked, and i ended the date after about 2hours, she was keen to stay out longer, but thought best to leave her wanting more etc. I think it helped because i was also talking to another girl from the dating site so i felt relaxed that night.

 

Anyway we were calling each other bascially every night after the date and arranged to meet again midweek (thurs) just 4 days later. (Although she actually only ever called me once out of the blue if i remeber rightly). The thing is after the 1st date and the more we spoke the more i realised that im absolutely crazy about the girl! She ticks all my boxes, shes a 10 in my eyes, and shes unbelivebly funny & smart.

 

So anyway 2nd date went for a meal and then drinks, but i was def more keen this time, obviously i was trying not to show it, but i think she probably picked up on it. We did really get on and the conversation did flow ok, but i did bring some stupid topics into the conversation like marriage!eek.gif (altho in my defence a serious relationship is what im looking for and uk indian girls 'usually' are too) The other bad thing is the date went on for four hours in total! i didnt end it quickly enough!

 

The day after i emailed her, but not to see how she was doing or ask how she thought the date went, but to basically continue a private discussion/joke about what instrument women find sexy (i prentended to ask the girls at work).But I did this cus i was feeling needy and just wanted to hear from her, but she did reply fairly quickly with a funny reply.

 

Then late sat night i sent her another text whilst she was out in a bar with freinds basically again relating to the joke, cus i didnt want to ask how she was etc (tho I should have just said hope u have a good night etc!) Anyway she hasnt replied or called since. Obviously I havent sent another txt or called her.

 

The problem (i think) is that she is new to internet dating and i was the first guy she met up with thru it, im certain shes talking to other guys, and she wants play the field abit and see what else is out there, plus im guessing the 2nd date didnt go as well as i thought. I know she was keen tho.

 

So I want to know, can i get her interest back? If so how do i it? How long should i wait for a response? And when/how should i text her again etc? Please help!! Cus i really would really like it to go somewhere with this girl.

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Tnerforireyeh

Your analysis is spot-on and you have no chance of regaining her interest. Move on, and don't make the same mistakes next time.

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Your analysis is spot-on and you have no chance of regaining her interest. Move on, and don't make the same mistakes next time.

 

I agree. I just about cringed when you stated you kept going on and on about "that joke" you told her. She probably thinks that you have no real dimension to you in the long run. Communication and interest are both key to a potential love connection.

 

You can wait a few more days and just tell her honestly that you had a lot of fun hanging out with her and would like to do it again. No clever anecdotes or "that joke" again, just be cool headed and actually tell her how you feel.

She will appreciate the honesty even if she has already moved along in the dating world.

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The Paper Knight
So I want to know, can i get her interest back? If so how do i it? How long should i wait for a response? And when/how should i text her again etc? Please help!! Cus i really would really like it to go somewhere with this girl.

 

Wait a few more days and then just call her. Text messages are for girls! Be cool, keep the convo brief and see if she is interested in catching up again.

 

And in the mean time focus on your own personal goals.

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DustySaltus

Well, you texted her and emailed her already so although a call would be the right thing at this point, it will come off as needy.

 

You have to let her come back to you and if she doesn't let go. Marriage talk on the first date is an absolute no-no. Joke telling is great but you have to know when to wrap it up and be serious. Otherwise she may interpret your continued joke telling as a lack of interest or a sign of immaturity.

 

I personally don't think you will hear from her again. But if you hear from her again, stop with the cockiness and show her a side to you that she hasn't seen before. Women love to be surprised.

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The day after i emailed her, but not to see how she was doing or ask how she thought the date went, but to basically continue a private discussion/joke about what instrument women find sexy (i prentended to ask the girls at work).

 

Then late sat night i sent her another text whilst she was out in a bar with freinds basically again relating to the joke,

 

I think the joke is what went wrong. It's creepy with a guy who just texts you about the same boring joke all the time. It's like "Do you like me or do you just want to talk about this weird joke I didn't really find that funny?". You should have just texted her and said "I had a great time with you again last night and I'd love to take you out on another date.".

 

I think you should be honest if you want more chances.

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