greatgirlfriend Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 So I have profiles on several dating sites though there is one guy I like (I met him years ago at a job). Right now he's being a jerk so I am keeping my options open and dating others. By dating I mean nothing sexual, including kissing (I only want to kiss the guy I like). Anyway, I'm getting all these guys responding to me with photos. Most of their profiles say "average" yet looking at their photos they are obese. I am not obsessed with weight (my guy is a little chubby) but these guys are really obese. Almost every guy who sent me a message is obese. When I get an average guy send me a photo he's almost always younger than me. Sometimes an average older guy contacts me, but not often. Anyone else experience this? I'll probably end up cancelling these free accounts because I'm kind of in limbo anyway and not fair to lead guys on when my heart is set on someone. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Because obese is the "new average"...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author greatgirlfriend Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 Which is sad. I'm not thin myself (I'm not overweight either, just somewhat muscular), but have no interest in dating obese guys. I remember I once met a guy off Match who said he was "average". He was probably 5'8 and 300 pounds, not average. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Which is sad. I'm not thin myself (I'm not overweight either, just somewhat muscular), but have no interest in dating obese guys. I remember I once met a guy off Match who said he was "average". He was probably 5'8 and 300 pounds, not average. Nor should you...but this leads me back to a post I made a while back about online dating...how people tend to associate the "majority" of average guys with the worst of the lot... Your attention is drawn to the most AND least attractive men...and if you don't succeed with the most attractive ones, your mind will tend to see the vast majority of average, middle of the road men, as those ugly and obese ones...so then you give up on online dating... Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Yes, the dating sites are heavy. To increase your chances, try proactively writing men you find attractive. Most women don't and those are the ones who complain about not meeting anyone attractive online. Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Yes, the dating sites are heavy. To increase your chances, try proactively writing men you find attractive. Most women don't and those are the ones who complain about not meeting anyone attractive online. Yes, do be proactive. I've done that and have gotten dates with very attractive guys. I'm currently still seeing one of the guys I met online--been going strong for 2 months, and am talking to someone else I'm keen on meeting eventually--I was the first to initiate contact with both of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greatgirlfriend Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 I contacted a few average looking guys (not hot, just average) and a few contacted me, but so far nothing. I tend to look for the truly average looking guys because they tend to be better boyfriends than the hot guys. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I contacted a few average looking guys (not hot, just average) and a few contacted me, but so far nothing. I tend to look for the truly average looking guys because they tend to be better boyfriends than the hot guys. Try to find something in between - kinda hot person who could be a pretty good bf and work from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I understand that you have preferences when it comes to body type. That's fine... And yet, this comment below makes me feel like your approach to dating is somewhat superficial: I tend to look for the truly average looking guys because they tend to be better boyfriends than the hot guys. Whether a guy is obese, average or hot, it's his personality and not his looks that will determine whether or not he's a great boyfriend. So you could start giving the obese and hot guys a chance. Especially the hot guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greatgirlfriend Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 I give the hot guys a chance, but not obese. I just can't date an obese guy. Like I said I'm not really serious about meeting these guys anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 My roommate complains about this all the time that only fat or balding guys message her on online dating sites, she uses the free ones too. But she can blame herself because she's not proactive and always waits for the guy to make the move... Link to post Share on other sites
bayouboi Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 It's worse for men. We see mostly obese women or single mothers. The above people are right in that you're in the driver's seat, all you have to do is be proactive and I bet you'll get all sorts of good responses. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Well, there's 3 options: 1) Fat guys are delusional about their weight and the quality of women they can attract. 2) You're delusional about the quality of man you can attract. 3) You're all a bit off. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Put the obese part aside for a moment and ask yourself why you wouldn't just walk away from people who misrepresent themselves in the first place. How hard is it to figure out that IF you intend to move something from online to real life, that you're going to need to present yourself as-is to the prospective date when the time comes, and that it will be easier done if you haven't misled them along the way?? Link to post Share on other sites
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