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Sex Without Emotion for Women - Is it possible?


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Old 5th February 2010, 12:13 PM   #1
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Question Sex Without Emotion for Women - Is it possible?

So here's the question, is it possible for a woman to have sex (casual or occasional) without experiencing the emotional downer afterwards?

If so, how exactly can this be achieved? Has anyone on this board ever achieved this?
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:20 PM   #2
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Why do you experience an emotional downer after sex?

Sex, for me, can be emotional or not. Depends on my partner and how I feel about that partner. Love, affection, lust, etc.

If you feel bad after sex with anyone , then having the sex to begin with was not a good idea. If you feel bad after sex regardless of your partner, then you have to question your feelings about yourself. Maybe your feeling about sex.

If you feel bad about sex with your regular partner - thats a relationship issue.

If you feel about sex because you dont have a regular partner , then maybe thats a loneliness issue.

But yes - of course people have sex without feeling bad after...loving sex and random sex if thats where your comfort level is at.

Its not so much a how question as a why?
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:22 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilkRose View Post
So here's the question, is it possible for a woman to have sex (casual or occasional) without experiencing the emotional downer afterwards?

If so, how exactly can this be achieved? Has anyone on this board ever achieved this?
Of course it's possible. Practically every woman at a nightclub who has a one-night stand has no emotional investment in the experience. They are simply drunk and horny.

How can this be achieved? Obviously you just don't think beyond your d*ck (or c*nt).
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:22 PM   #4
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If you are secure and comfortable with casual sex and thats what your looking for - then there is no downer.

But if you want more than casual sex, and thats what you're getting...that would make anyone feel crappy.
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:23 PM   #5
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By 'emotional downer' I mean that feeling of attachment and the other 'crush-like' feelings e.g. thinking about them a lot etc.
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:31 PM   #6
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I am able to "have sex like a guy", I've always said. For me it's easy to separate sex from emotion. It's all how I prepare myself beforehand. If I know from the second I meet the guy that he wouldn't do much in the boyfriend department but woudl in the bedroom department, I will have sex with them maybe but not try to date them. It's a mindset for me. I don't really know how to explain it.

the most recent casual sex fling for me was this guy I met through a friend. I'd come back to my hometown to visit for the weekend and met my friend for dinner. Before that, she'd asked if her friend could come b/c they were hanging out. I said sure. Went to dinner, met them, had a good time. He was cute but not my type. My friend had to leave to go to bed for work the next day but i didn't. He said he didn't either. We hung out a little more at dinner, chatted, and he invited me to his place. I said sure, knowing what I was going there for. We had sex a couple times over that weekend and once when I moved back to my hometown a month later and I haven't seen or talked to him since, really. I just knew from talking to him that first night that he wasn't boyfriend material, the way he talked and carried himself, but he was cute and I hadn't gotten any in a while.

I have a boyfriend now, an amazing one. The second I met him, I knew he was for me...again, just the way he carried himself and such.

I suppose my advice is to be a very good judge of character and follow your instincts. But I agree with 2sure...if you don't think you can handle casual sex, don't even try. It will leave you feeling crappy.
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:39 PM   #7
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Actually for some of us, it's the only kind of sex we're interested in having. Marriage, committed relationships are more work than they are worth and cost far too much in terms of emotions,time, money and lost opportunities.
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:44 PM   #8
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Ok so the one time I tried to have sex without emotions was when I had a FWB situtation with someone I had known for years through work and as friends. Basically I found myself having feelings of attachment towards him and romantic fantasties, almost as if I had a cruch on him. But I didn't,m I wasn't in love, I knoew that we were incompatible in terms of having a long term relationship/getting married one day - he felt the opposite...didn't end as well as we both wanted it to. Anyway its as if my mind knew the truth but I still had these feelings, the kind that I get when I have a crush on someone. I read something by Dr Ian Kerner, that made me wonder if I can ever just have sex and walk away/feel nothing. Perhaps his explaination is better than mine. He answers the question 'Can women have sex like men?' : http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/292821...relationships/

I'm a very sensitive caring person, I care for friends and family all the time so, I'm just wondering if I would always feels something because that's just how I am, or if I can 'switch it off'.
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:45 PM   #9
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Yes, it is possible. The way to achieve that is by having only one thing in mind. Sex. Which, for most women, isn't the case.
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:46 PM   #10
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Bipolar women can accomplish this.. Most well balanced normal women will not just have sex to have sex with anyone.
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:51 PM   #11
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Bipolar women can accomplish this.. Most well balanced normal women will not just have sex to have sex with anyone.
I completely disagree with that statement. It has absolutely no logic behind it. Women have needs also, and if a woman wants to have sex, I don't see why it would make her bipolar if she went out and had casual sex.

Makes no sense.
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:51 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by hersmudders View Post
I am able to "have sex like a guy", I've always said. For me it's easy to separate sex from emotion. It's all how I prepare myself beforehand. If I know from the second I meet the guy that he wouldn't do much in the boyfriend department but woudl in the bedroom department, I will have sex with them maybe but not try to date them. It's a mindset for me. I don't really know how to explain it.

the most recent casual sex fling for me was this guy I met through a friend. I'd come back to my hometown to visit for the weekend and met my friend for dinner. Before that, she'd asked if her friend could come b/c they were hanging out. I said sure. Went to dinner, met them, had a good time. He was cute but not my type. My friend had to leave to go to bed for work the next day but i didn't. He said he didn't either. We hung out a little more at dinner, chatted, and he invited me to his place. I said sure, knowing what I was going there for. We had sex a couple times over that weekend and once when I moved back to my hometown a month later and I haven't seen or talked to him since, really. I just knew from talking to him that first night that he wasn't boyfriend material, the way he talked and carried himself, but he was cute and I hadn't gotten any in a while.

I have a boyfriend now, an amazing one. The second I met him, I knew he was for me...again, just the way he carried himself and such.

I suppose my advice is to be a very good judge of character and follow your instincts. But I agree with 2sure...if you don't think you can handle casual sex, don't even try. It will leave you feeling crappy.
Thanks for your response! Very interesting. So you feel nothing for this other guy at all?

I have only tried it once and I felt attached. Am celibate at the moment but am thinking of going for casual sex rather than a relationship in the future. The emotional price is too much for me to pay over and over again. I am willing to work at a relationship but I don't want to be let down over and over again and I don't want to have to play games with men. I am straight forward and honest. I don't use guys to get 'free dinners'. lol! I am genuine but don't seem to meet anyone worthwhile (honest, genuine). It's as if my honesty is wasted. Hmmm. Am planning to travel a lot next year, am wondering if that will help or make things clearer....?

At the moment it seems like celibacy or casual/occasional casual sex are my only options.
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Old 5th February 2010, 12:52 PM   #13
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To say a woman has to be bipolar to have sex for fun is ridiculous.
A person's personal preference or difference in comfort levels from your own - does not make them mentally ill.
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Old 5th February 2010, 1:08 PM   #14
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To say a woman has to be bipolar to have sex for fun is ridiculous.
A person's personal preference or difference in comfort levels from your own - does not make them mentally ill.
Agreed. A totally illogical statement for that poster to have made. I'm not bipolar in the least and I can do it. It's true women are more emotional than men but emotion doesn't hold some women back from when they may physically need.

OP, I recomment not having casual sex just b/c it's convenient. If you are even asking this, it's possible that you are not cut out for it. And that's fine! Don't let yourself feel hurt. Trust yourself and your instinct on this one.

As for me, I've had multiple FWB situations and one nighters. I've only fallen once for one of them and it was when I was younger and more na´ve. I gave myself time to get past all of that and grow up a little (not sure how old you are). Then after a while I was able to separate it all.
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Old 5th February 2010, 1:08 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by 2sure View Post
To say a woman has to be bipolar to have sex for fun is ridiculous.
A person's personal preference or difference in comfort levels from your own - does not make them mentally ill.
You won't find many well balanced "good catches" sleeping around with strangers juts to get off..

I read many men actually seek out bi polar women on the net to catch them during their "mania" stage..
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