Having a hard time finding a girlfriend

[Septum]

I broke up with my ex some number of months ago and it's mainly because she abandoned me for 2 years. She returns and acts like nothing happened without a word of warning or anything. She expected things to go right back to normal but it was never the same. I cannot be with a person that does not care about me.

 

So all this time I've tried to look for a girl here where I live (Daytona Beach, Florida). I was never reluctant to talk to girls before but now that I have been hurt this badly, I hesitate when I see a girl I like. The same thing can happen to me. I would like to be romantically involved with a woman again (I don't do sexual relationships or one-night-stands). I would like a girl that is committed to me as much as I am to her. Can anyone help me with my predicament?

[clueless haha]

look for girls during the day time... they are everywhere!!

its not easy and it takes balls but you have to put yourself out there and ask out beautiful, nice looking women

 

work on improving yourself too, this does wonders after a break-up

- work out

- eat healthier and stay away from soda or something like that

- relax and go read a book, i recommend "The Hellbound Heart"

[counterman]

I agree with the latter half of what clueless said. You still seem to be hurt or deeply affected by your past relationship and if you feel doubtful about approaching a girl you like (because you don't want to be hurt again) then I suggest you just focus on yourself first, rather then trying to get into another relationship.

[Barky]

(I don't do sexual relationships or one-night-stands)

 

This will severely limit you. Guys who act like girls have major problems on the dating scene. Girls don't want a guy who can't, or won't, get laid.

 

EDIT: I'm assuming you're a dude. They should have gender labels here.

[You'reasian]

I broke up with my ex some number of months ago and it's mainly because she abandoned me for 2 years. She returns and acts like nothing happened without a word of warning or anything. She expected things to go right back to normal but it was never the same. I cannot be with a person that does not care about me.

 

So all this time I've tried to look for a girl here where I live (Daytona Beach, Florida). I was never reluctant to talk to girls before but now that I have been hurt this badly, I hesitate when I see a girl I like. The same thing can happen to me. I would like to be romantically involved with a woman again (I don't do sexual relationships or one-night-stands). I would like a girl that is committed to me as much as I am to her. Can anyone help me with my predicament?

 

Don't tell them you're name is Septum....

 

Dude, you're missing out. Talking to women is fun. Relax and enjoy yourself. You can do it - its just a matter of time.

[soulm8]

This will severely limit you. Guys who act like girls have major problems on the dating scene. Girls don't want a guy who can't, or won't, get laid.

 

EDIT: I'm assuming you're a dude. They should have gender labels here.

 

Just because a person (male or female) isn't interested in casual sex doesn't mean they don't WANT to have sex. Some of us are more interested in love... than getting laid. It's called a monogamous relationship and you either get it or ya don't.

 

The man I just started seeing is on the same page, as long as we're in a committed relationship. He actually "screened" me by asking my opinion on FWB relationships in a clever way that really made my respect for him sky rocket.

[Septum]

Thanks for the replies people. I appreciate it. Now, let me explain some things.

 

1) Yes I am male

 

2) Septum is just a creative code name. it has some meanings behind it.

 

3) I will read that book since I do enjoy literature.

 

4) I am athletic and able but I do have principles. I do not believe in sex like other people do. Sex comes only after marriage or if I have enough love for you.

 

While I am still hurt by the events past, I am a resilient character. i am not overly emotional about any one thing. It does not limit the fact that I am human, however... I have not felt the joys of a woman in much too long a time. Valentine's Day is coming right around the corner but I cannot do a thing about it. It's not like I am shy or anything but for some reason talking to girls has never been the same. I only assume that it is because I may still feel a little hurt. It's very odd though. I can talk to girls and make them laugh if I just want to be friends with them. but when I would like something more than friends, I can't even look them in the eye while I talk to them.

[Barky]

It's called a monogamous relationship and you either get it or ya don't.

 

Well the OP isn't getting anything right now. So since HIS (I think it's a man) WAY obviously isn't working, he should be trying something else. Like getting laid.

 

For men, quantity leads to quality. Women attract women. You have to start out with fuglies and work your way up the ladder to the beauties. And the more chicks in your harem, the faster this will happen.

[clueless haha]

glad you're gunna read the book, the author is clive barker.

its a short read but i read it after my break-up 6 months ago and it helped me move on in a strange way, it was really good!! best of luck to you

[Septum]

glad you're gunna read the book, the author is clive barker.

its a short read but i read it after my break-up 6 months ago and it helped me move on in a strange way, it was really good!! best of luck to you

 

Thanks mate. I welcome your blessings.

[soulm8]

I do not believe in sex like other people do. Sex comes only after marriage or if I have enough love for you. I can talk to girls and make them laugh if I just want to be friends with them but when I would like something more than friends, I can't even look them in the eye while I talk to them.

 

Girls like to be teased kinda like a kid sister... don't be afraid to teasingly make fun of us (and be sure to smile when you do so). Practice teasing girls that you don't "like" and it'll be easier once you find "her".

 

Eye contact is very important - you must work on your self confidence. Practice.

[Knittress]

~I~ like guys who "can't or won't get laid." Don't badger the dude into something he isn't comfortable doing, he's just gonna suck at it and which'll drag down his confidence and make it harder in the long run.

[Septum]

Teasing? Hmm...yeah I can see that. I am honestly dumbfounded on why it works but I tend to not question the unknown.

 

Yeah, as the lady above mentioned, I refuse to try and get laid. It goes against all that I stand for. It may work for shallow guys (nobody please take offense) but not with me. I have always lived alone and I raised myself to be as moral and virtuous as possible. I don't think getting laid would be fair to both parties. It's disrespectful and I don't tolerate it. This is my own opinion btw, so I don't mean to insult anyone. I just feel very strongly about that kind of stuff.

[Septum]

Something unexpected happened yesterday...or technically, two days ago. After I finished posting this thread I went to class. I saw a girl I really like so I sat next to her. I kept making her laugh with all of my quirks and all that. So we had a test and I asked her to wait for me outside of class because she is freaking quick with tests. So we started talking and I eventually asked her out on a date. My God! I honestly felt smooth for once. Normally, girls that I date speak to me but this time, it was the opposite. I took a step up to the plate and did what I had to do. Thanks a lot guys. I couldn't have done it without all your help.