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Should I go this guy's party, even after disrespecting me?


LB85

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This guy lead me on for ages, he would always try to talk to me etc and asked me out to dinner once but then never got back to me about it. I later found he had a gf since before we met which shocked me (except no one knows about this girlfriend)!! I'm not sure, maybe he didn't want me to get the wrong idea and my own mother told me that she knew a few guys who were confused about who they really liked so they genuinely try to test the waters and can't help being over flirty. I just think I can't speak for him just the things I didn't like, I actually never heard from him again (partly because he knew I deleted all his messages etc) and of course I got angry and didn't get in touch with him again either. He then added me on facebook, I accepted but didn't bother writing to him or anything. Then a friend convinced me to write to him and said "he is probably trying to be friends again and looking for contact maybe. Besides whats wrong with saying hi?" So I wrote to him, he replied straight away asking if I was still angry at him and that I had every right to be and then changed the topic, it made me even angrier since he knew he treated me badly and still didn't care! But he asked a few questions to get the conversation going. But I never replied and we haven't been in touch since.

 

Life was going ok, not that I got over him but at least we didn't have any contact. He recently emailed me and some more people to invite us for his birthday and my first reaction was no way am I going. But then I saw most of the people he invited were from work (like 10 people orso) and only 5 or 6 of us weren't (from which at least 2 were his bestfriends and one was a common friend); also a friend said maybe he's trying to make it up to me and I don't know what to do now; I think its actually nice that he's attempting to be nice by inviting me to such a small get-together (especially since he isn't inviting others closer to him) but again I don't know if its enough. Anyway,he's asking for an RSVP very soooonnnn!! Should I go to the party after this guy was a jerk to me (so that things become normal) or should I kindly say I can't come? I am considering going for a bit, maybe an hour or so, at least I showed up then and I wont be the same as i always used to be...flirty etc...just cordial. Should I go? Leave my anger towards him aside...get over it and go by forgetting the whole thing? Or should I let things get sower so that the next time we meet its not even cordial?

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Why do you want to go? Why do you care if things are cordial or not? You never actually see this guy, so why does it matter to you? Would you go if you knew his gf would be there with him?

 

Your friend is wrong. He's not trying to make anything up to you. If he were, he would have apologized to you. But he never has.

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Are you still interested in him? I don't understand why you'd want to hang around this guy or even bother to rsvp.

 

If you're determined to go, the nasty in me thinks maybe you could tell his girlfriend how nice he was to invite you out for dinner; you're still interested in taking up his suggestion, and that all three of you should go out sometime. But in all seriousness, just ignore him.

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In all honesty, I'm not over him. Although I have strong will power and don't just accept his behaviour, I tend to be a little dismissive and he is always kind. But its because we're family friends that I thought I could go. Maybe I'm just curious to find out why he invited me...i dunno...a lost puppy of sorts:p

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This guy's giving you breadcrumbs. He knows you still like him and he's trying to do just enough to keep you around in case he ever decides he really does want you. Even if he did decide that, I don't think it would work out. I say go to the party if you want but you'll only be feeding his ego at the cost of a little of yours, and prolonging this little charade between the two of you. Don't be his fallback.

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If your mentality is just to go to reconnect with him, instead of going to find a new guy, then you dont go.

 

You havent posted in months, you couldnt find someone between now and then??

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torranceshipman
In all honesty, I'm not over him. Although I have strong will power and don't just accept his behaviour, I tend to be a little dismissive and he is always kind. But its because we're family friends that I thought I could go. Maybe I'm just curious to find out why he invited me...i dunno...a lost puppy of sorts:p

 

Go but bring a smokin hot guy with you, or dont go :D

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I have actually...i have moved on..not gotten over my idealised version of him but ive met guys and i just enjoy attention from guys...im not scared of the commitment etc...probably one reason i fell for this guy. But he's not completely out of the picture. I tried convincing myself that but I wouldn't be honest to myself...being honest actually makes it easier. And if I go, it isn't with any expectations from him ..that is the truth ...i would love to meet a new guy. Someone who can give me everything without me asking.

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