Lost-n-confused Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 So yea I'm a wimp it's offically. I'm a gutless coward when it comes to making a move. I've been casusaly dating three girls and haven't kissed any at all. So over the weekend I had three dates... First girl we went bowling Friday with firends and when to the movies together Sunday which was the first time we spent time alone. When I messaged her about Sunday I called it date. She responed by saying I didn't l know it was a date. I asked what would you call it she said idk. My bestie says to just be her firend and have a good time and things may just happen. My dad says after hangout 4 times she probably thinks I don't find her attractive and/or I'm not heterosexual. So yea four times we chilled and no kiss. Nothing has been an offical date. We planned to goto the fair sometime this week. Second girl I took out satuday for dinner it was termed a date. She's going to a bday party dinner with me tonight(bday girl I used to date). Then we are going to the fair this week. No kiss yet. I just can't find the right moment and I can't seem to pull myself together to gap her pull her in close and kiss her. Idk I'm just so petrifyed. I'm afraid to touch people. Link to post Share on other sites
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I kinda have a similar problem....especially since I am online dating. i feel very disconnected from the people I go out with once or twice. I dont know them hardly at all and have a hard time going in for the kiss after knowing someone for 4 hours total. I have been with one girl 4 times now. I was at her house saturday night, we watched tv, hungout, whatever. NO kissing, touching, anything the whole night. When it was time for me to go, I just grabbed the back of her head softly and went in for the kiss. It worked out well. It wasnt a big kiss, but enough to show her I'm interested. I imagine she liked the fact that I was 'man enough' to take what I wanted. Who knows. You just have to go for it if you want it.... Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Joolie Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I think you guys just need to get it straight on your time lines. Like by X date you will go for the first kiss, and by X date you will have gotten to such and such base. Whatever lingo you guys use. And when that date comes, you just gotta do it. Set your own time limit on these things and just go for it. Cuz if you let date after date play out and you don't make the move you are just not interested enough. You gotta do your part and the female will reciprocate or not. If she doesn't show interest back after your efforts, then move on, it'd be a waste of time to stick around. Can't imagine the thoughts swirling around in your head, holding you back. "Is she into me? I'm such a wimp. I'm so nervous. Is it right yet?" blah blah blah. Set your time frame, and just do it. That's sexy. If a guy hesitates with himself and doesn't show me what he wants, that's confusing and I'll lose interest. Link to post Share on other sites
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 You are probably right Joolie. I think my problem is I like to wait for the girl to make the move.....especially in this situation with the 4 dates girl. She doesn't seem to show a whole lot of interest...so it makes it harder to react and make those moves. We sat 1ft. away from each other on the couch for 4 hours...and....nothing. I was hoping she would at least 'snuggle up'. But no. I'm going to call her tonight and see if she wants to hangout this week and make that do die. Either we hit it off physically or we dont. She did thank me for taking it slow saturday night, so I'm not sure how to read that....good or bad????? As for OP, I think you just know. Do you really like them? How are you meeting them? Online, through friends, acquaintances? I think this makes a big difference. Like I said above, I have spent very limited time with this girl and we are still getting to know each other... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Tell me you aren't really taking the girl to the birthday part of a girl you used to date..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lost-n-confused Posted January 18, 2010 Author Share Posted January 18, 2010 Tell me you aren't really taking the girl to the birthday part of a girl you used to date..... Yes why not? The girl I used to date is a friend now.. Obviously we never got serious and just had a few dates. She asked weeks back if I was bringing anyone. I don't really know anyone at the dinner party. Its her 21 birthday party and its at an Olive Garden. I thought I would kill two birds with one stone, go to my friends birthday party where I don't know anyone and bring a date so I have company. I kinda asked her to be my date without asking. I first asked if she busy week nights and then I made a comment about having to go to this birthday dinner there I don't know anyone. She kinda asked do you need a date for this party? I then flat out said yes Id like the company but a date isn't required. She then told me she would like to go. I figured id bring her and we would just kinda do our own thing. Is this such a terrible idea? Should I tell her I dont think its a good idea? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lost-n-confused Posted January 18, 2010 Author Share Posted January 18, 2010 You are probably right Joolie. I think my problem is I like to wait for the girl to make the move.....especially in this situation with the 4 dates girl. She doesn't seem to show a whole lot of interest...so it makes it harder to react and make those moves. We sat 1ft. away from each other on the couch for 4 hours...and....nothing. I was hoping she would at least 'snuggle up'. But no. I'm going to call her tonight and see if she wants to hangout this week and make that do die. Either we hit it off physically or we dont. She did thank me for taking it slow saturday night, so I'm not sure how to read that....good or bad????? As for OP, I think you just know. Do you really like them? How are you meeting them? Online, through friends, acquaintances? I think this makes a big difference. Like I said above, I have spent very limited time with this girl and we are still getting to know each other... I like both girls... I think if I knew either girl really liked me or wanted me to kiss them I would reciprocate the feelings. I met these girls through firends. Link to post Share on other sites
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I like both girls... I think if I knew either girl really liked me or wanted me to kiss them I would reciprocate the feelings. I met these girls through firends. sometimes, you just have to grab the bull by the horns (or the girl by her head) and plant one on her. trust me, I am the same way as you. I finally pulled the trigger and it seemed to go ok. A couple drinks didnt hurt;) if she turns away, it probably wasn't meant to be anyway. show her you are interested. whats the worst that can happen? Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 Tell me you aren't really taking the girl to the birthday part of a girl you used to date..... Oh yes he is. Reference his other thread where we are discussing his odds of pulling this off. You guys need to "alpha up" in a good way. Check out the threads of a guy named Mem1163,( or something like that). Very good. Guys who act too "beta" and wait for us to make the moves are confusing to us, and not that exciting.... Link to post Share on other sites
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