Reasons women won't date self-proclaimed "nice guys"

[Golfilla]

1. You are NOT nice. Kissing up to a girl, and then sulking because she won't have sex with you, or because she decides to go out with someone else is NOT nice. The fact that you bought her something gives you NO reason to expect her to have sex with you. If you wanted sex in exchange for dinner, you should have told her upfront.

 

2. You are not funny. Newsflash: It's ok to make a joke or laugh at one occasionally. It's OK to make fun of a woman's flaws occasionally if it's done in a light hearted and funny way. Stop acting like such a miserable stuffed shirt for ****'s sake.

 

3. You can't be trusted. How can a woman possibly trust you if you have to try to buy her affection with dinners and gifts just to get her to like you. What are you hiding, anyway? Stop trying to pretend you're something you're not.

 

4. You are a doormat. You just say "yes" to everything she says. What's the point of spending time with you just to find out what she already knows? Newsflash: It's OK to say 'no' occasionally, she might even respect you for it, and she'll certainly trust you more.

 

5. You're creepy. Look, the fact that she said "hello" to you or maybe smiled at you on one occasion doesn't mean she's about to marry you. Sure, you might have a chance if you can fix up some of your issues, but it won't be helped by following her around and stalking her for the rest of her life.

 

6. You are a doormat x2. Why can't you move on from that woman who "broke your heart" years ago? What was so special about her anyway? Just move on already! The next woman you meet is a different person, and whatever happened before has nothing to do with her. A true nice guy would realise that and would be prepared to give the new woman a chance.

 

7. You don't respect women. It's OK for a woman to date a 'jerk' if she so desires. It's none of your business, she's a grown woman, she can do what she wants. If she's dating a 'jerk', she wasn't going to go out with you anyway. Find someone else and leave her alone. At least the 'jerks' can respect a woman who leaves them for someone else.

 

8. You could stand to shut up a little more. Look, if you really were "nice", you wouldn't need to shout it from the rooftops every five minutes. Genuine nice guys never tell anyone how nice they are, they just get on with doing nice things and let their actions talk. If you need to say you're a 'nice guy', you're probably just a jerk.

[stevejohnson1976]

I would say most of this is true for SOME nice guys....

 

#8? Not so much...especially on this website. Where else can nice guys say they ar enice and look for advice?

 

im a nice guy with a confident, nasty streak. so there

[TaleSpin]

Look, if you really were "nice", you wouldn't need to shout it from the rooftops every five minutes.

 

:laugh:

 

Totally.

 

I'm instantly turned off by dudes that give their "I'm a nice guy and all girls like jerks" spiel. Ugh.

[MeganDoll]

Nice guys are usally unpopular boring nerds who just read books for fun

 

We want jerks allot of time becasue theyre popular and the life of the party that everyone likes and gravitates to

 

No women wants a guy who just blends into the crowd and is not wanted by other women or Men

 

We want the bad boy every women wants and Man wants to be with!!!

[alphamale]

Nice guys are usally unpopular boring nerds who just read books for fun

they also play video games too

[skydiveaddict]

no dude in his right mind would call himself a "nice guy" if he had any hopes of getting a woman

[Art_Critic]

no dude in his right mind would call himself a "nice guy" if he had any hopes of getting a woman

 

I'm a pretty nice guy..

Married twice and have a kid

I never had any trouble pulling women and having relationships.

 

I think sometimes the term nice guy and desperate guy get mixed up..

I have always been a nice guy but I have never been desperate

[thegreatmoose]

Nice guys are usally unpopular boring nerds who just read books for fun

 

We want jerks allot of time becasue theyre popular and the life of the party that everyone likes and gravitates to

 

No women wants a guy who just blends into the crowd and is not wanted by other women or Men

 

We want the bad boy every women wants and Man wants to be with!!!

Can a nice guy become desirable without resorting to being a jerk with some adjustments to his behaviors. What do you think, MeganDoll?

 

A lot of women on here clearly say the answer is yes.

[MeganDoll]

Can a nice guy become desirable without resorting to being a jerk with some adjustments to his behaviors. What do you think, MeganDoll?

 

A lot of women on here clearly say the answer is yes.

 

It depends some people just are boring nerds who live boring lives,kinda hard to change a peronality people are who they are

[skydiveaddict]

moose, in order to be a hit with the ladies, you must change from "nice guy" beta male into a self absorbed, jerk first class a-hole "alphamale".

have no fear my friend, it CAN be done. i did myself

[LonelyGuy85]

The funny thing is that i would totally put myself in the nice guy category but i would never tell anyone that i consider myself a nice guy. Even though i have about much luck with women has a blind guy as with pictionary, i wouldn't call myself desperate. I enjoy an active lifestyle: running, swimming, gym and fingers crossed 'Sky diving' next year.

 

The problem is that i use those as an escape from my lack of confidence with women. I have some deep physcological issues, i can jump from a bridge with a piece of rope easy enough, but when it comes to the opposite sex i freeze up like a penguin taking a piss in the snow.

 

I have to somewhat agree that generally i find that nice guys finish last. Even non-self proclaimed nice guys. It seems that women are more interested in taming the jerk than getting with the nice guy, but what do i know, i am just a self-deprecating, insecure nice guy

[woopster638]

1. You are NOT nice. Kissing up to a girl, and then sulking because she won't have sex with you, or because she decides to go out with someone else is NOT nice. The fact that you bought her something gives you NO reason to expect her to have sex with you. If you wanted sex in exchange for dinner, you should have told her upfront.

 

2. You are not funny. Newsflash: It's ok to make a joke or laugh at one occasionally. It's OK to make fun of a woman's flaws occasionally if it's done in a light hearted and funny way. Stop acting like such a miserable stuffed shirt for ****'s sake.

 

3. You can't be trusted. How can a woman possibly trust you if you have to try to buy her affection with dinners and gifts just to get her to like you. What are you hiding, anyway? Stop trying to pretend you're something you're not.

 

4. You are a doormat. You just say "yes" to everything she says. What's the point of spending time with you just to find out what she already knows? Newsflash: It's OK to say 'no' occasionally, she might even respect you for it, and she'll certainly trust you more.

 

5. You're creepy. Look, the fact that she said "hello" to you or maybe smiled at you on one occasion doesn't mean she's about to marry you. Sure, you might have a chance if you can fix up some of your issues, but it won't be helped by following her around and stalking her for the rest of her life.

 

6. You are a doormat x2. Why can't you move on from that woman who "broke your heart" years ago? What was so special about her anyway? Just move on already! The next woman you meet is a different person, and whatever happened before has nothing to do with her. A true nice guy would realise that and would be prepared to give the new woman a chance.

 

7. You don't respect women. It's OK for a woman to date a 'jerk' if she so desires. It's none of your business, she's a grown woman, she can do what she wants. If she's dating a 'jerk', she wasn't going to go out with you anyway. Find someone else and leave her alone. At least the 'jerks' can respect a woman who leaves them for someone else.

 

8. You could stand to shut up a little more. Look, if you really were "nice", you wouldn't need to shout it from the rooftops every five minutes. Genuine nice guys never tell anyone how nice they are, they just get on with doing nice things and let their actions talk. If you need to say you're a 'nice guy', you're probably just a jerk.

 

 

 

wow,i thought i was a a NICE GUY,but i guess im jus normal lol

[skydiveaddict]

I have to somewhat agree that generally i find that nice guys finish last. Even non-self proclaimed nice guys. It seems that women are more interested in taming the jerk than getting with the nice guy, but what do i know, i am just a self-deprecating, insecure nice guy

 

 

 

 

you dont have to stay that way. you can become an alpha stud. btw, skydiving will be the biggest rush of your life

[carhill]

OK, the prostitutes win

 

From back before I was married...

 

1. Asked women out because I wanted to go out with them and get to know them.

 

2. Dry, situational humor was more my style, but I didn't tend to make my dates the butt of my jokes.

 

3. I paid for dates and provided occasional small gifts because that was my style; how I expressed myself. For most of that time, except the last 4 years before getting married, I was a virgin and wasn't angling for sex. I was looking for a long-term relationship.

 

4. I didn't say yes to everything, but, upon reflection, I did compromise my own feelings more than was healthy.

 

5. I don't generally 'hit on' random women and didn't then either, as witnessed by the platonic female friends I've had. I was and still am friendly with women because I generally like them.

 

6. Got therapy for that one. True.

 

7. Had plenty of experience with women dating jerks and being married to jerks. It wasn't until towards the end that it started bugging me, like in my late 30's. Prior, I just figured the other guy was more attractive to the ladies.

 

8. I don't think I've ever told a person in real life that I'm 'nice'. I do say occasionally, when asked, that I like to treat women like a gentleman would. My actions generally reflect my intrinsic style. I don't find it difficult to be around and enjoy the company of women.

 

Is there a prize in the box?

[stevejohnson1976]

if you are really, really ridiculously good looking, like me, then you can pull off the nice guy spiel.....

[thegreatmoose]

moose, in order to be a hit with the ladies, you must change from "nice guy" beta male into a self absorbed, jerk first class a-hole "alphamale".

have no fear my friend, it CAN be done. i did myself

That seems consistent with what MeganDoll says, but not what most women say on here.

[carhill]

if you are really, really ridiculously good looking, like me, then you can pull off the nice guy spiel.....

Fail....

[Sam Spade]

no dude in his right mind would call himself a "nice guy" if he had any hopes of getting a woman

 

Not only that, but things have gone so far that I even get uncomfortable when my gf tells me I'm nice, so I always feel compelled to counter it with something gritty (e.g. "Yo, let's go suck face/genitalia :lmao:)

[thegreatmoose]

It depends some people just are boring nerds who live boring lives,kinda hard to change a peronality people are who they are

Don't you think there is something between the alpha and beta males?

 

Do you think there is a such thing as an alpha-beta male who has some characteristics of both? It could be someone who takes the best characteristics from both.

[MeganDoll]

Don't you think there is something between the alpha and beta males?

 

Do you think there is a such thing as an alpha-beta male who has some characteristics of both? It could be someone who takes the best characteristics from both.

 

Ehh i dont know,id say looks are the most important thing over those qualities because if your very good looking personality flaws will be overlooked

 

The alpha male screams status for women but if youre extremely good looking thta bring a women status on its own merit

[thegreatmoose]

Ehh i dont know,id say looks are the most important thing over those qualities because if your very good looking personality flaws will be overlooked

 

The alpha male screams status for women but if youre extremely good looking thta bring a women status on its own merit

What kind of personality flaws would you overlook if the man was great looking?

 

What if he got angry and screamed at you, cheated on you or was unemployed and refused to look for a job? What kind of things could he get away with before it would be too much to take?

 

I'll tell you one thing. The women that I know would never accept a bad personality just because a man is good looking.

[MeganDoll]

What kind of personality flaws would you overlook if the man was great looking?

 

What if he got angry and screamed at you, cheated on you or was unemployed and refused to look for a job? What kind of things could he get away with before it would be too much to take?

 

I'll tell you one thing. The women that I know would never accept a bad personality just because a man is good looking.

 

Youre going overbaord i mean if he wasnt mr alpha or had some minor quirks,bottom line is good looking people get away with more thats how life works

 

I hate to break it to you but women arent these non visual inncoent delicate little creatures u think we are,we like good looking hot guys probably as much or more then Men like hot women

 

I have allot of married friends who are tired of f'in their Joe Average husband becasue he does nothing for them on a physical level and they picture his face being some young studs

 

Most women arent that physically attracted to the Man theyre with they just couldnt do any better

[thegreatmoose]

Youre going overbaord i mean if he wasnt mr alpha or had some minor quirks,bottom line is good looking people get away with more thats how life works

 

I hate to break it to you but women arent these non visual inncoent delicate little creatures u think we are,we like good looking hot guys probably as much or more then Men like hot women

 

I have allot of married friends who are tired of f'in their Joe Average husband becasue he does nothing for them on a physical level and they picture his face being some young studs

 

Most women arent that physically attracted to the Man theyre with they just couldnt do any better

Good looking people often do get away with more. No disagreement there. I was just wondering how much.

 

Looks do play a role and I never said they didn't. However, the kind of woman that I know typically finds personality the most important aspect of a man with looks being a factor.

 

We must have VERY different circles of friends.

[carhill]

I hate to break it to you but women arent these non visual inncoent delicate little creatures u think we are,we like good looking hot guys probably as much or more then Men like hot women

 

Pretty sure that perspective has been around longer than you've been alive, but thanks for the reminder

 

That said, I've seen some of the standoffs between good-looking 'nice' guys and the women who circle them. It's like no one will make a move

[MeganDoll]

Good looking people often do get away with more. No disagreement there. I was just wondering how much.

 

Looks do play a role and I never said they didn't. However, the kind of woman that I know typically finds personality the most important aspect of a man with looks being a factor.

 

We must have VERY different circles of friends.

 

Personality is big of course but looks have to be there to get a foot in the door

 

A ugly dude with a good personality will be just a a friend