knime32 Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Why is it that people give up on a perfectly good relationship for the off set chance that there may be something better out there? My boyfriend and I of 6 years recently broke up and I can't figure out for the life of me where it came from and why it happend other than his explanation that he needed to find himself. There were no signs and the relationship was going great. Within the last 4 months, he was discussing marriage with all of our friends and had even told a few of them that he was planning to propose but never followed through. I feel like I have a guy who is ready to make a deeper committment but just won't do it. A few of his friends and some of his family have suggested that its because he's a guy and he's scared he may be missing out on something and he needs to experience more. We've broken up a few times before for similar reasons, but we always seem to find each other again. Why does this keep happening and will it always continue to happen? What should I do? I love him and I don't want to smother him but I don't want to lose him our what we have. I've been having no contact with him since the breakup a week ago, but how long must I go before I know that there's something still there or I just need to give up on us and move on? What happens once I've started the process and he comes back? Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Why is it that people give up on a perfectly good relationship for the off set chance that there may be something better out there? My boyfriend and I of 6 years recently broke up and I can't figure out for the life of me where it came from and why it happend other than his explanation that he needed to find himself. There were no signs and the relationship was going great. Within the last 4 months, he was discussing marriage with all of our friends and had even told a few of them that he was planning to propose but never followed through. I feel like I have a guy who is ready to make a deeper committment but just won't do it. A few of his friends and some of his family have suggested that its because he's a guy and he's scared he may be missing out on something and he needs to experience more. We've broken up a few times before for similar reasons, but we always seem to find each other again. Why does this keep happening and will it always continue to happen? What should I do? I love him and I don't want to smother him but I don't want to lose him our what we have. I've been having no contact with him since the breakup a week ago, but how long must I go before I know that there's something still there or I just need to give up on us and move on? What happens once I've started the process and he comes back? 6 years? I think you'd get better responses/advice if this was moved to the Break-up forum... Link to post Share on other sites
Author knime32 Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 I tried there, and I wasn't getting much of anything so I thought I would try here. I honestly have no idea what do do anymore and I've been left in a total state of confusion. Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I tried there, and I wasn't getting much of anything so I thought I would try here. I honestly have no idea what do do anymore and I've been left in a total state of confusion. Six years is a long term relationship/committment, people who are going through very similar experiences currently as you are, I think can offer more for you there, then this section. Maybe the coping section you could try too. Link to post Share on other sites
GiveAndTake Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I say, fake it til you make it. Start the process of moving on NOW. Start dating. No doubt, he will catch wind that you are dating again. This will light a fire under him. If it doesn't, then he isn't in love with you. I know it sounds like game playing but it isn't. You will be dating. You have no choice. He is unavailable. No, your heart will not be into another guy but eventually, it will be. Hopefully, for his sake, he will wake up before that happens. If he doesn't, then you won't care because you will have truly moved on. If you sit around waiting for him to "find himself", it's very likely that he will be dating while doing that. He'd have nothing to lose knowing you're available and waiting. Same as you, his heart probably won't be in it, but eventually, it will be. Then it'll be over for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts