How can I get my friend to see me as dating potential.

[Null507]

I recently realized that I have a HUGE crush on a friend of mine from church. We have been friends for years. I am 19 and she is 17. We went to sunday school together, and youth group but for the most part we don't hang out outside of church and sometimes on facebook. Anyway I know most people say that it is almost impossible to get out of the "friend zone" but I think it might be possible if only due to the fact that she doesn't know I have feelings for her. What I need are subtle ways to get her interested in me.

[Pizzaman81]

I wouldn't change much about how you are as a person. If she's your friend she probably enjoys hanging out with you.

 

So that being said, there's another aspect called attraction. You can maybe dress up better (if not already). Not much you can do in that department, just be concious of how you look and present yourself in public.

 

Be confident, don't be wishy washy airy fairy.

 

It's hard to say what you can do to make her see you as a potential dating material, people your age don't really look at success and financial stability at the moment...

 

I would try to show that you are interested, flirt with her a bit and see how she reacts. Do you have lots of female friends? Maybe she doesn't feel special near you. Show her that she is special by flirting and such.

[radwimps]

start treating her like a bitch

 

im serious, if you are in the "friendzone" with a girl you like, you're not really her "friend". You treat her like a Princess rather than a "friend". Girls knows how this work and they just get all the benifits from you, and blow you off when you do confess your true feelings. Even if you think she doesn't know, believe me, she knows, it's more than easy to tell if a guy likes a girl from both perspectives.

 

so here's what I wrote on another thread about friendzone:

 

btw I'm 19 too, so I know exactly how girls our age thinks/acts.

 

I have actually gotten out of the friendzone before(And actually dated her) it IS possible, but it is EXTREMELY difficult.

 

What I did was, I completely ignored her(I knew her for about 3 years) for a few months, got to know many more interesting girls aside from her. Then you realize she's actually not that great(This is an important mentality).

 

When we saw each other again, I kept it completely cool. I didn't talk to her anymore than I NEEDED to, answered her conversations in the most shortest manner possible, and stopped thinking about her all together. I just couldn't bring myself to be attracted to her for a while, and she was like wow, all over me.

 

All in all it went fairly well for a few months, and eventually she grew back on me and I asked her out, dated, things didn't actually work out great between us but that's just that. I congradulate myself for doing the impossible(Getting out of the friendzone).

 

so bottom line, what you need to do is, stop treating her like a princess and kissing her boot all the time. Stop seeing her all together for a LONG PERIOD of time(Atleast 3 Months), and then come back into her life with a huge change that she likes. Whether physical(Lose weight, work out JUST A BIT) or mental(more confident, cool, not so needy) is completely up to what she thinks lacks in you, and that is for you to figure.

 

For more info, read up this article:

 

http://www.thebachelorguy.com/skills...iend-zone.html

Edited December 1, 2009 by radwimps

[Null507]

It is interesting that you say that radwimps because some of the things you've said I have already done on my own (except for treating her like a bitch). Though to tell you the truth I have never really treated her like a princess. I meant to imply this in my original post but we aren't super close. Like I said we only ever talk at church and once in a long while on facebook. But what you saif about the whole disappearing for a while did make sense in fact I actually kind of did that already. Over the summers my family doesn't go to church so there were those months where we had no contact. After we came back I was talking with her dad during coffee hour at church and she joined the conversation. I mention how great it was to see everyone and that I hadn't seen their family all summer. She actually pointed out that we had run into each other once at my job at a local super market. I haven't done the whole avoiding bit but don't go out of my way to talk to her. While your stuff was interesting what I really need to know is how I can get her to think about me as dating potenial so that when I ask her out I don't have to explain that it is a date, I have had that happen b4 with other girls one who I am now comfortably just friends with only just realized that.

[kizik]

Sorry, there's no way.

 

If a girl does not like you, there is no amount of time spent that will cause her to suddenly 'become' attracted to you.

 

It is a complete fallacy, and often promoted through vehicles like Hollywood movies. Just saw one where this happens - "Sex Drive" - and I was like, "pshhhhh"

 

Give up on this one, IMO.

[Null507]

It is interesting that you say that radwimps because some of the things you've said I have already done on my own (except for treating her like a bitch). Though to tell you the truth I have never really treated her like a princess. I meant to imply this in my original post but we aren't super close. Like I said we only ever talk at church and once in a long while on facebook. But what you saif about the whole disappearing for a while did make sense in fact I actually kind of did that already. Over the summers my family doesn't go to church so there were those months where we had no contact. After we came back I was talking with her dad during coffee hour at church and she joined the conversation. I mention how great it was to see everyone and that I hadn't seen their family all summer. She actually pointed out that we had run into each other once at my job at a local super market. I haven't done the whole avoiding bit but don't go out of my way to talk to her. While your stuff was interesting what I really need to know is how I can get her to think about me as dating potenial so that when I ask her out I don't have to explain that it is a date, I have had that happen b4 with other girls one who I am now comfortably just friends with only just realized that.

[boogieboy]

Let her see other girls hanging around you, let her see them liking you. Also dont pay her much attention. She has to see that youre desireable to want you. But truth is, jealousy wont keep her liking you for long.

[Null507]

by the way kizik if you read my first post you'd see that I am not someone looking for a second chance I haven't been rejected by this girl, I am just trying to get her more attracted to me so that when I ask her out I stand a better chance of not striking out. If she says no then I will be satisfied but right now I have not been turned down so I'm not going to defeat my self before I have properly tried. It's thinking that a girl wouldn't say yes that has kept me from asking out s many girls. So until I am actually rejected I am going to try to get her to see a different side of me.

 

by the way sorry about accidently double posting my last responce

[radwimps]

kay, if you really think you didn't get "friendzoned" THAT hard, then there are ways.

 

-Start flirting with her. More touchy feelings, but don't go overboard. Have more 1 on 1 conversations. This will make her think about you more.

 

-If she seems not mind the flirting, then ask her out. Don't half ass the asking out part. Make sure she KNOW ITS A DATE.

 

if you don't make it clear, poor her, she won't know what to say. "Oh no, am I getting myself into a date or just a friends thing?" Therefore there will be a high possibility of getting a NO. There are many guys who fail this part, believe me.

 

Now, if she seems to act colder towards you after you start flirting with her, STOP. And just forget about her, she doesn't like you.

 

But to be honest, it's extremely hard to change a girl's mind after they made up whether you are a potential BF or not, and it's usually in the first few meetings.

[HokeyPokey]

You definitely have to make it known that you see her as potentially someone more than a friend; however, that being said, your advances might destroy the possibility of even a friendship.

 

It's important to cue into her signals though. Too often guys in the friendzone want to see something that isn't there. Don't confuse friendliness with flirting. And if she starts confiding in you her thoughts about other boys...it's over. Don't even try.