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Am I dangerously close to the 'friend zone' ?


Lakeside_runner

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Lakeside_runner

Geez, sorry to bother you guys again... I just need some input here.

 

So, I've been seeing this girl for the past five weeks, we've been on 8 dates and we usually see each other twice a week (mid-week and on weekends). A week and a half ago I made my move and we had a mini make out session. Then we went out for lunch but I wasn't feeling OK this day so I didn't do anything besids a kiss and a hug at the end. Next weekend we met her sister and her brother-in-law for dinner and a couple of her friends for drinks afterwards, we were both 'under influence' and her brother-in-law drove us to our places (they dropped me off first) so I couldn't do anything then too (well, holding hands in the car doesn't count :lmao:). Today we went out for lunch and again - nothing happend, it just didn't feel right to do it and it seemed like it would be really forced, just didn't fit in the conversation etc. We kissed at the end and hugged. It hasn't had any of the "we're friends but we kiss"-feeling, it was normal. The physical attraction is definitely in the air...

 

Question: I probably should do something soon (preferably the next time) not to be friend-zoned, right?

 

Question: Can that be perceived by her as something good, like "this guy want's to get to know me better before he does something i.e he's interested in me and doesn't perceive me as a physical object only?". It's only a week and a half so may she think of it as 'witholding the candy' ? :)

 

Thanks!

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The clear imperative is to never go backwards.

 

It's not that you're kissing, hugging, making out and all that stuff, it's how you feel when you do that. If you're feeling this really wonderful peaceful feeling along with the pleasure of the sexual part and physical sensations, keep progressing that. Find her erogenous zones (not the obvious ones) and tease her. If she's not saying no or pushing you away in half-fun, you're not being effective.

 

You can respect a woman, care about her and still want her as a sexual and romantic partner. Consistency. :)

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I dont know, and truthfully Ive never given it much thought.

 

I like kissing, so if I like her, Im going to end up kissing her pretty quickly, usually first date. And the rest usually follows soon after.

 

How do you manage not to kiss her after youve already kissed? That seems weird. Especially if you like her. And why do you keep taking her places where nothing can happen. That also seems strange

 

5 weeks is a long time

 

From observation, talking to friends etc, first thery think your just being ncie and trying to show them you care. Then they start thinking something si wrogn with them and thats why you havent made a move. Then they decide its all your fault and you get friend zoned:)

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I wouldn't be as worried about being "friend zoned" as I would be of other men snatching her up. From my own personal experience I would suggest you make your intent to date her very clear. I've had multiple men after me at once before and it's usually the one who has enough balls to tell (flatter) me that they like me and really want to date me that end up getting me.

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why do you keep taking her places where nothing can happen?

 

Good point. The whole process is about building intimacy. You look for ways to be alone. If she's always wanting to do group things, she's not into you. Leave her be. Don't go along. Quiet dinners. Walks in the park. Catching a movie on the sofa (alone). Cooking together (if you both like to cook) can be fun too. Nothing like a food fight ;)

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Lakeside_runner

Oh no, the intent that I want to date her is clear! She knows that. I made the move but since then IMO the recent timing has been a little bit unfortunate... 1. I really felt like s***t the other day. 2. You can't really do staff when other people are watching you (especially if this is your first encounter with her family)... I would do staff together this weekend but she'll be out of town until Sunday. We'll see, maybe then.

 

She doesn't mind going out alone - we've done this.

 

I don't think we're going backwards. It's not like she said 'good bye' and waved at me... It's rather this: can you be friend-zoned when there's no progress? (the answer is obviously yes - see the response of jerseyboy but the real question is do you think that I'm getting dangerously close to the friend-zone?)

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2. You can't really do staff when other people are watching you (especially if this is your first encounter with her family)

 

Oh, come on. I used to grab my stbx's ass in the kitchen at her sister's house, right after giving her mom a hug and a kiss. Be creative. Be playful. Life is short. :)

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Lakeside_runner

:lmao::lmao::lmao: Come on! It was this "Hey everyone - this is my new boy-toy" dinner and drinks thing!

 

But yeah, I agree I'll have to step it up a notch. Hope it's not to late to do it :)

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:lmao::lmao::lmao: Come on! It was this "Hey everyone - this is my new boy-toy" dinner and drinks thing!

 

But yeah, I agree I'll have to step it up a notch. Hope it's not to late to do it :)

 

 

do you have your next date lined up? if not, you better get on it STAT! :laugh: and make it something romantic.. just the two of you. After 5 weeks of "dating" I'd hope to have had at least a few make-out sessions... if not more! ;) If I we're this girl I'd be starting to feel like you weren't really that into me... and you'd definitely be getting friend-zoned.

Edited by tkgirl
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