TessaMarie Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 So, there's this guy, Ruben, I meet occasionally at parties, university, the library etc. We never actually meet up but I'm there with my friends, he with his. Anyway, we almost always end up talking for half an hour or more. Though I have to say that our conversations are sometimes weird to me since he's the kind of person where you have a hard time figuring out whether or not they mean what they say. He really loves sarcasm and irony. I told him that he was giving me a hard time when trying to understand him and he picked it up, laughed at it and now teases me with it everytime we see each other. Otoh, he's really nice to me, he accompanies me when I have to get home late at night and there's no bus I could take, he offered me his help when I was new to this big city. So, besides all the stuff he said and did that didn't really make sense to me, I came to the conclusion that he liked me. But then there was this party last saturday. He came up to me and started to talk but I told him that I had no time at that moment because my friend needed my help and that we could talk later. So he left and I didn't see anywhere after that. Then, right before I wanted to leave I went across one of the dance floors and saw him dancing with a girl, obviously flirting with her. I took a deep breath, went past them to get my jacket. When I went back I saw them making their way out of the club. So, I was like 'ok, that's what it is'. I said bye to a couple of friends and left myself. Then, to my surprise in front of the club I bumped into him. And he was just the way he always was with me. I was kind of irritated and told him that I had to get my bus. Then he held me back and told me that he would do a party at his house this friday and if I could tell a mutual friend. Since then, I'm trying to make sense out of all these situations. Why does he tell me to invite a mutual friend to his party, but doesn't invite me? Is he too shy? Or is he really that unfriendly to tell me to invite someone for him, but not invite me? That would be kinda odd, wouldn't it? I would really appreciated some thoughts and advices. Thanks in advance, Tessa Link to post Share on other sites
BookerT Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 1) You sure he likes you? Or you like him and thus hopes he likes you? 2) He may have been flirting with the other girl, but he didn't go home with her. He's not dating you, he has the right to keep his options open. 3) You sure he wasn't inviting you to the party as well? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TessaMarie Posted November 5, 2009 Author Share Posted November 5, 2009 1) You sure he likes you? Or you like him and thus hopes he likes you? 2) He may have been flirting with the other girl, but he didn't go home with her. He's not dating you, he has the right to keep his options open. 3) You sure he wasn't inviting you to the party as well? 1) No, I'm not sure if he likes me or, rather, I'm not sure whether he likes me in a "more-than-friendship" way. The second part of your question is pretty pointless if I didn't like him, I wouldn't be posting on this board. It's just that this whole situation is confusing me. 2) Yeah, I know that. 3) No, I was not at that point. But now I kind of think that, because that friend I wrote about got a mail with details on the party, and I didn't. So, that's pretty clear, I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
New Again Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 It sounds to me like he pretty much always has treated you just as a friend. Cemented by the actions you questioned at the end of your post. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 It sounds like he thought you two were acquaintances, but he hasnt asked you out or ever tried to get your number, so...I dont think he was romantically interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TessaMarie Posted November 7, 2009 Author Share Posted November 7, 2009 Thanks for your replies. Pretty much what the rational part of my brain was telling me, though I'm still not 100% convinced. Anyway, I'm trying to take it easy. But the next question that comes to mind is: Can I really be friends with a guy who invites other people through me? Like I mean, I now feel kinda ridiculed, it was like this: he was saying ; "Tessa, I'm having the party I told you about next friday. Could you please tell Marius about it?" and I was like, "ok, I'm gonna tell him." And so, I did. But isn't that the same as if he was telling me: 'I would love for Marius to come to my party, but you can stay home.' ? I'm not sure I'd even want to be just friends with him anymore. I'm sorry for this rather confusing post. It's just that I have to get the thoughts out of my head and since I've only been living in this city for 4 weeks, I really don't have any close friends to tell. Any encouragement or advices on future relationship or avoidance with this guy is very much welcomed. ~ Tessa Link to post Share on other sites
A O Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 Any encouragement or advices on future relationship or avoidance with this guy is very much welcomed. ~ Tessa Seek what you want, be proactive towards what you want, don't hope for what you want. Confusing and contradiction primarily exists only when one fails to state their terms. . Link to post Share on other sites
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