someg Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 HISTORY This girl is a friend and we play the same sport together. She has a bf who has left the area (it has been over a month) with no plans on returning from what I have gathered. He is too far for them to see each other. She still seems to hold on to him because she has mentioned the "bf" briefly three times since I have known her (I guess just so she can say she has a bf.) I have known her for a while. We flirt lightly over text. I feel like I get mixed signals every once in a while from her though. When I get mixed signals my gut reaction was to act like I didn't care and went along with it (I might have done a too good of a job sometimes). She might have seen it as mixed signals coming from me. Most of the time we totally have a great time. However it is possible I might also be over analyzing her actions. DINNER DATES I have gotten food with her once which was fun for both of us. For the next weekend I asked if she wanted to get food again but she said she was too busy and gave a semi-lame excuse (the mixed signal). We left it at that. Later at some point we are talking again and she suggested we get food and I sort of came on too eagerly/strong on it which was bad on my part. We decided on next weekend with no date set. Hopefully we will get a dinner/date in next weekend (assuming I didn't ruin it). At this point I feel like I can't even remind her of it so I have to be patient and hope she talks about it next week. WHAT TO DO? My question is, at our dinner (if it happens) what should I do to stop the mixed signals? Should I just out right ask her if she is interested in me to stop the guessing games? If we have fun on the date should I plant a kiss to see her reaction (the problem is she still has a bf to my knowledge)? Should I give her a hug instead of a kiss (again bf issue)? Also mind you we have never hugged and she isn't the touchy hugging type of girl from what I can tell so a hug might be a proper step forward and respect the bf issue. I am thinking of playing it cool but at the same time tell her what I think of her that makes her special as a person to show that I am interested in her as more than a friend. So any thoughts? Thanks in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 She isn't going to be over her boyfriend for a while, especially if she is still referring to him as such. You can wait it out on the sidelines being her 'friend', or you can slow down the contact and hanging out with her and give her time to move on. Your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 She just not a huggy girl with YOU. With a guys she likes, HE gets plenty of physical affection. Youre grasping at crumbs that youre imagining. She is not giving you any signals whatsoever, let alone mixed ones. Shes also not over her ex yet. WOmen that are into you dont give mixed signals. Leave this one alone. Your instinct was right when you saw she gave the lame excuse. Its not going to happen, move on to a girl that actually likes you. Youre probably going to go out with her anyway because you have no other prospoects, and if you want to turn her off permanently, you tell her how you feel. If you treat her special, she will walk all over you. Play it cool. But youre not going to get her, so I suggest dont bother wwasting your time. She would have made moves on you long ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author someg Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Thanks for the responses. You are right in some ways and it just reaffirmed my thinking. A little condescending but helpful. She did get in touch with me to set a date for later this week. I am going to play it cool. I really doubt anything will come out of this. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) Thanks for the responses. You are right in some ways and it just reaffirmed my thinking. A little condescending but helpful. She did get in touch with me to set a date for later this week. I am going to play it cool. I really doubt anything will come out of this. Thats me, the condescention king. Like it or lump it. Dont waste your time with her, she is using you for friendship. Make her set you up with a friend of hers, otherwise she is useless. Shes not a true friend when she knows you like her. Edited October 26, 2009 by boogieboy Link to post Share on other sites
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