Good manners or shady?

[lora22]

Is it normal for a guy to offer/want to pick you up for a date, rather than meeting at the location of the date?

[JohnP82]

Is this a serious question?

[lora22]

Of course, why wouldn't it be? Clearly there are a number of different circumstances, ranging from meeting someone online and going on a first date, to meeting someone in person, knowing them for a bit, then going on a first date, etc.

 

Maybe I just got a creepy feeling in general from this guy or something. But, since I've been single and dating, so far most guys don't offer to pick me up for the first and second dates. We meet somewhere, and leave separately.

 

Of course it's different if I know the guy better before we start dating. In that case I almost expect it.

 

But if a guy from an online dating site asks me out and I accept...well isn't it more normal for him to suggest a place to meet, rather than asking where I live so he can pick me up?

[Art_Critic]

You should practice safety first and not tell any guy you meet your home address until you know they aren't creepy,

 

Meet them somewhere first..

 

Is it normal.. sure.. just about any guy will want to pick you up, but it up to you to lay that boundary down to weed out the weirdos.

 

Once a weirdo knows where you live it can be not worth all the pain and aggravation they can cause you later on.

[JohnP82]

OK, now I'm getting the picture and would say that you are right. If you are meeting someone for the first time then I would say that picking you up from your place would be weird. In fact, I would say you should refuse and meet at the date place.

 

However, if you know the person and trust them then being picked up shouldn't be that big of a deal. This doesn't take into consideration where you live relative to them and the date venue, timing (date after work), etc.

[Trialbyfire]

Yup, if he's already giving you a creepy feeling from a few textual contacts, DON'T go out with him! Where there's smoke, there's fire.

[Thaddeus]

You should practice safety first and not tell any guy you meet your home address until you know they aren't creepy,

 

Meet them somewhere first..

 

Is it normal.. sure.. just about any guy will want to pick you up, but it up to you to lay that boundary down to weed out the weirdos.

 

Once a weirdo knows where you live it can be not worth all the pain and aggravation they can cause you later on.

I agree with my friend AC here. The first meeting should be in a public place and you should have the ability to leave whenever you feel it's necessary.

 

Now, I don't believe in the doom sayers that suggest that if you have this "feeling" that he's creepy then he automatically is creepy. If you haven't even met the guy yet, you're basing your assumption on incomplete information.

 

Feelings will lead you astray all the time (if they were always correct, then there wouldn't be any divorces, would there?). Backed up with evidence, then they can make sense, but without evidence they're just noise.

[sally4sara]

At least for the first few dates, I think it is very smart for a woman to meet up at the location for the date instead of being picked up in the man's car.

 

You don't know the person well enough to know what they're capable of and if things go badly, it is nice to have your own transportation. You can leave when you want and go where you want. If you live in a city where they have a good public transportation system, it isn't such a big deal. But in my home town, there was no subway and the buses ran very unreliably. I always had my car close by till I was sure of who I was dating.