Jump to content

how to say a guy that he has bad breath ?


bac

Recommended Posts

I am dating a guy in late 40s who is self-employed and has no dental insuarance. He does not make a lot of money. So, he did not go to see a dentist for ages.

 

He really likes kissing. He likes to take time doing that.

The problem is that he has very bad breath and he probably needs to see a dentist. Also, he is very sensitive and I have no idea how to let him know that he has a problem.

Any suggestions?

Link to post
Share on other sites

If your posting this, I am guessing you are already past the stage of offering breathmints, asking him to floss and brush (before gettin' nasty).

 

Have you thought it might be a medical problem? You could always tell him that you are concerned, that you have noticed a "irregular order", and it could be a sign of infection (cavity, etc) or of a bigger issue. Tell him you hope he could see a docter just to make sure everything is okay. He might get the hint then.

 

Most people who have stinky breath may not even know it. I dated a guy (briefly) who had odd breath. I found he basically only brushes his teath in the morning. I say twice a day is a minimum. As you eat, found gets caught in your teeth that builds bacteria and plaque and causes bad breath (and other things). He didn't realize his bad breath, and I guess he really wanted to keep kissing me, so he cleaned up his Act. (Ha ha, little play on words..nevermind).

 

Err..good luck!~

Link to post
Share on other sites

Have some gum handy at ALL times..

 

If you're too shy to give him one.. or if he refuses.. put 2-3 pieces in your mouth.. when you start to kiss... shove a piece in his mouth.. :laugh:

 

Seriously.. do him a favour and tell him... be diplomat.. you can say something like:

 

'I don't want to hurt your feelings, trust me... I love when you kiss me all over ... when you eat my ear lobes... when you lick my nipples .. when you penetrate me with that ... ohh.. sorry... I enjoy kissing you.. you're an amazing kisser... but I need to tell you this... you have bad breath... ' :laugh:

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thank you. He actually brushes his teeth a lot and eats mints all the time.

But it does not work out well.

He might guesses that there is something wrong with him.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Funny but true. I remember my wife complaining about my breath at one point; she called it 'mothballs'. I'm very anal about my mouth (haha) but what happened was one molar had gotten into the dentin (due for a crown) and bacteria were beginning to do their work with a malodorous result. Once the tooth was crowned, mothballs went away.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Thank you. He actually brushes his teeth a lot and eats mints all the time.

But it does not work out well.

He might guesses that there is something wrong with him.

 

He also needs to floss daily; brushing isn't enough.

 

Or it could be something like what carhill said.

Link to post
Share on other sites
He actually brushes his teeth a lot and eats mints all the time.

 

Sometimes good brushing (and flossing) can't fix things like calculus buildup, which bacteria feed on. Periodic cleaning (I go twice a year) helps a lot. Also, I've found sinus issues can cause bad breath, as well as medications. Our lungs expel carbon dioxide and pick up chemicals from the blood, some of which are expressed as odors. Alcohol breath is a common example. No amount of mints will make it go away simply because it's coming from the lungs, hence the breathalizer.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thank you, but he states that he is extremelly healthy. He does not drink alcohol as well.

 

How can I give him a polite hint so he would consider to go to see a dentist?

Link to post
Share on other sites

"I know you take great care of your teeth, but there's still a funky odor. I think you should visit the dentist and see if anything is wrong."

 

If he's so sensitive that he doesn't deal with any type of suggestion / criticism from someone he knows isn't trying to hurt him - you should question why bother pursuing this at all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
How can I give him a polite hint so he would consider to go to see a dentist?

 

IMO, be direct. I never felt demeaned or rejected in any way when my wife shared such things with me, even prior to being married. We're chemical factories and sometimes the chemicals stink. We just have to figure out how to fix it. No biggie.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Bad breath is easy to cure. Just scrub the tongue with a clean white face towel as far back as possible (back to the taste buds) and floss everyday. All kinds of crap will be on the towel.

 

All bad breath is on the tongue. Now, how to tell them this? I have no idea.

 

The watchwords would be tact and consideration.

 

Good Luck!:bunny:

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you go with the 'I know you take great care of your teeth, so i thought you would want to know that there's still an odour, which means there's probably something that needs a dentist's attention' and he takes serious offence, then is this someone you could be with long-term anyway...?

 

What happens a while down the line, when you have something more serious to give feedback on? When he's doing something that is upsetting you and he doesn't realise it (everyone does this, in real relationships)...

Link to post
Share on other sites
I am dating a guy in late 40s who is self-employed and has no dental insuarance. He does not make a lot of money. So, he did not go to see a dentist for ages.

 

He really likes kissing. He likes to take time doing that.

The problem is that he has very bad breath and he probably needs to see a dentist. Also, he is very sensitive and I have no idea how to let him know that he has a problem.

Any suggestions?

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halitosis

 

Go read home care and treatment. Seriously if it's turning you off, let him know you love kissing him but you need him to read that wiki page.

Link to post
Share on other sites
deux ex machina
Bad breath is easy to cure. Just scrub the tongue with a clean white face towel as far back as possible (back to the taste buds) and floss everyday. All kinds of crap will be on the towel.

 

All bad breath is on the tongue. Now, how to tell them this? I have no idea.

 

The watchwords would be tact and consideration.

 

Good Luck!:bunny:

 

Hmmm. I never heard of people using towels to do that. Learn something new every day.

 

Awesome.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Be honest, after the initial feeling of embarrassment he'll be thankful you told him.. He can find a solution, it's not like its something he'll have forever... unless someone doesn't tell him!

Tell him you want to spend more time kissing him and this would allow that.. ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's probably a tarter build up which is caused by his saliva. Does he have a good diet and eat lots of fruit?

Apples :~)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Its hard to say to a guy your dating that he has a bad breath or halitosis if you can spend money for him then I guess it would be better if you will asked him to go with you to the dentist

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well let's see, you say "your breath stinks!".

 

Even if he's sensitive, he ought to handle the truth. I definitely would want to know if my breath stinks.

 

He should go to the dentist, as other posters have said, it could be a much worse condition than just smelling bad. Even if he has to pay for it out of pocket, just imagine having to get dentures one day because he didn't go to the dentist.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I would just say, you have lately noticed his breath smells unusual. Ask him if he's been to the dentist, as it could be a medical issue. If you tell him you just noticed... he will hopefully consider that you are concerned for his health, and not just turned off by his breath. Or simply I’d offer him some oral hygiene products which will help to an extent.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I was in a situation like that with my ex b/f. We had been involved for a while, but I needed to present it to him, without being offensive. Not an easy task! I said "Hun, I don't want to offend u in any way, but I have noticed the past few days a slight (major) odor from your mouth. Have you tried flossing? I am concerned, u may have an infection or something." Ya, he still got offended. The following week he went to the dentist and had a rotting tooth. He had it pulled and the nasty mouth went away.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yuck. Bad breath has to be one of the biggest turn offs in the entire world.

 

Brush your teeth together. Do like the one person said and make sure you brush your tongue, and hopefully he will see that as a queue to brush his too. Usually I use popsicle sticks to scrape my tongue clean (you can buy big boxes of them at craft stores) and they do an amazing job. Bad breath either comes from serious illnesses or like someone else said, the tongue/back of the mouth. Get some listerine, too.

Link to post
Share on other sites

My recent ex got bad breath, and I mean the super super stinky type. Through 2 months of hinting, I tried to have him use mouthwash and floss just by saying in general that I think having a clean mouth is important to health, without saying directly he has bad breath. He took up the mouthwash, and his breath improved a bit, but it was still pretty bad at times. I hinted him to floss too for another month and he said flossing is too troublesome and doesn't do much, and we sort of debated over this. Finally, I had to tell him directly that he has bad breath. I told him in the most gentle way possible, and guess what, he got REALLY REALLY offended. He said no one has ever told him he's got bad breath and he accused me of just being a clean freak. Trust me, of all the guys I've dated, he's the only guy I've noticed such bad breath so it's not me, it's definitely his breath! Well, 2 months later he dumped me. He said a bit part of why he broke up with me was because of my paranoia over cleanliness (when he in fact did have really bad breath!). But he was breaking up with me and I didn't want to argue. It's not worth it.

 

Thing is, eventhough he claims that to be the reason for the breakup, everyone on this board said the truth is that he broke up with me because I wanted to stop the sexual stuff and wait until marriage for it.

 

So OP, you can learn alot about a person based on how they react if you told him he had bad breath and you do it in a nice way. A person who is LTR material will be understanding and maybe even thank you for telling him so he can do something about it. But a person who is not LTR material will accuse YOU of being a clean freak instead.

 

Thanks for posting this. It just reminded me another reason why my ex was not right for me at all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...