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Are people getting too picky these days?


Hkizzle

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By this I don't mean they are consciously picky. What I mean is a lot of people have such high standards that they naturally lose the spark easily.

 

You get this with a lot of attractive men and women that know they can attract a lot of the opposite sex. They just get desensitized and lose interest with normal individuals.

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By this I don't mean they are consciously picky. What I mean is a lot of people have such high standards that they naturally lose the spark easily.

 

You get this with a lot of attractive men and women that know they can attract a lot of the opposite sex. They just get desensitized and lose interest with normal individuals.

 

 

yeah.. I get what you mean, but I don't think it has so much to do with how good looking one is. It's more about people are getting busier and everything is so "instant" these days... IMs, texts, the good awful TWITTER! it's like no one takes the time to really get to know someone anymore.. it's sad really.

 

Oh, and your signature cracks me up... but I kinda wish you two would kiss and make up already! :love:

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OP, we all make choices. People choose to be busy; they choose to be 'picky'. If they choose to let society rule them, then good on em. I prefer a different path. The really cool thing is that the path of those picky and busy people will never merge with mine. It really minimizes their frustration, I've been told ;)

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I'm waaaay pickier. And rightfully so, I've had some real losers in the past. I learned Ii deserve better, so if that makes me picky, then so be it.

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I'm waaaay pickier. And rightfully so, I've had some real losers in the past. I learned Ii deserve better, so if that makes me picky, then so be it.

 

I think you are Carhill both got me wrong, but in the opposite ways.:(

 

What you're doing is good, it's consciously getting picky to filter out jerks.

 

What I'm refering to and what Carhill disagrees with is a subconscious process in which people lose that spark or chemistry. That isn't a conscious choice and I know it's not a conscious choice because you get people that don't want to lose the spark but lose it anyway.

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If people wish to be slaves to their subconscious, that is their path. I choose differently :)

 

Any sentient, cognitive being has the ability to choose. We're not 'animals'.

 

Within my own life experience, I've proven this concept many times. All one needs is the self-awareness and desire....

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Well, obviously because we're animals we can't be monogamous and just following our instincts. I guess evolution has finally made us the way we are today. We can't fight it so just accept our fate and enjoy the variety.

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I'd say that's called... progress. Civilization marches forward. You have to run just to stay in place, like in a treadmill.

 

We could take your argument and apply it to cars. Car buyers are picker these days. 2009 model year cars virtually all have power windows, AC, and radio as standard equipment. Back in 1989, they were all luxury optional equipment.

 

College students are picker. Back in 1989, going to college was a luxury. These days everyone can go wherever they want. In order to attract students, colleges to compete and build dorm rooms that look like modern apartments. They have to build incredibly expensive gyms, much nicer than what you find at LA Fitness.

 

Movie goers are picker. Back in 1989, some special effects were done in clay. It's all digital now, and much, much more expensive. Green screens, CG, etc. etc.

 

Everything gets better with time. You wouldn't want to be stuck in 1989, or even, *gasp*, 1889, would you???

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I think it's more of a cultural Western thing. I'm Japanese and my parents always, ALWAYS said to me growing up: "You should be happy with what you have, not what you don't have."

 

I have to say, being around my friend who weren't raised this way, we really do think differently about things.

 

Of course, I am to an extent picky, too. But once I have found someone/something I really like, it's like I'm locked in.

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If people wish to be slaves to their subconscious, that is their path. I choose differently :)

 

Any sentient, cognitive being has the ability to choose. We're not 'animals'.

 

Within my own life experience, I've proven this concept many times. All one needs is the self-awareness and desire....

 

You can consciously make yourself feel attraction and fall in love?

 

That's what you are saying when you disagree.

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You can consciously prevent yourself from falling in love. You can also consciously prevent yourself from dropping your zipper.

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You can consciously prevent yourself from falling in love. You can also consciously prevent yourself from dropping your zipper.

Bingo. We have a winner. :)

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You can consciously prevent yourself from falling in love. You can also consciously prevent yourself from dropping your zipper.

 

Yeah, you can prevent yourself from falling in love.

 

Carhill is saying you can consciously make yourself fall in love.........

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I'm not a woman (nor gay) and don't know him, so have no basis. I could definitely love him, and have many such people in my lifetime. IMO, you're (or the philosophies you're trying to prove) too grounded in the superficial. You can spend the rest of your life like that (or promulgating it) or you can make another choice. It's up to you :)

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I'm not a woman (nor gay) and don't know him, so have no basis. I could definitely love him, and have many such people in my lifetime. IMO, you're (or the philosophies you're trying to prove) too grounded in the superficial. You can spend the rest of your life like that (or promulgating it) or you can make another choice. It's up to you :)

 

Lol, nevermind, I'll get the right pic next time! :rolleyes:

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I'm 35 and I'm now in what I would consider to be my second serious relationship in my life. The first serious relationship started about ten years ago and lasted more than two years. It was good in many ways, though we ultimately parted ways for a number of reasons. Since that time, I've been very picky. At times I have thought maybe I've been too picky. But my current relationship makes me realize why none of the others worked, and now I don't think I was 'too' picky. There are one or two relationships I probably should have ended sooner than I did, but they would have ended anyway. I'm glad and grateful for what I have now.

 

The point of all this?

 

It's okay to be picky, just be don't be picky for the wrong reasons. I think we have a tendency in our society to buy into labels, and to place importance on things that matter but probably aren't really as important as we might think they are. I'm not picking on anyone when I mention this but I think of the discussion on online dating profiles in another thread, and I think about how people try to project a certain image. If you start approaching dating with an image in mind, an image of what you think you should be and what your partner should be, you're screwing yourself. The real problem isn't being picky, the problem is that people let their egos get in the way of their relationships. Drop the pretense, know what's really important to you, and have fun.

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utterer of lies
By this I don't mean they are consciously picky. What I mean is a lot of people have such high standards that they naturally lose the spark easily.

 

You get this with a lot of attractive men and women that know they can attract a lot of the opposite sex. They just get desensitized and lose interest with normal individuals.

 

Looking at people, I rather get the feeling they are not picky enough ;)

 

Nothing bad with having high standards.

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