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not a relationship but feels like it


impromptu

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I took a science class last year. I'm in college. There was a TA who showed his romantic interest in me by small physical touches and in-time academic help. We spent lots of time together, sitting should-by-shoulder and talking about science, sometimes making little physical touches. The feelings were amazingly beautiful but platonic. He has thrown hints several times to test my intention, but I was too dumb to catch it. But he still helped me with the subject patiently. However, I did get into the evil habit of playing pure mental games with men, seducing them but also keeping a distance. He got real angry several time but later we made up. But we never gave each other any verbal clarification such as " I like you." Toward the end, I found out that all his anger was mostly pretension because he knew that if he was mad, I would come, pet him, and make him smile. One day I really got mad and walked out on him. But the next day I asked him out and he said no. I'm sure he knows I like him a lot. After one month without seeing each other, we decided to stay away from him cause I just realized that he is a good player too. But he kept showing up in front of me, sitting with his pals and teasing me and another male TA. I got real mad and never put my eyes on him again. His face looks extremely sad and his eyes were telling me to forgive him. But I cannot trust him anymore. He might be faking it. When I smiled in his direction, his eyes sparkled and his face light up. But I still avoid his sight.

Two days later, I saw him jumping out of an elevator. He said to me "Go to the bottom floor, Please" with his usual punkish attitude in front of his pals. I ignored him because I knew he was out of his mind. All his friends knew something about me and him even though there was absolutely nothing but a game. They kept on asking him and watching us. All the other guys now are afraid of being too close to me. I don't know if I am too sensitive on this. But I decide to move on. I hate him. I've wasted all my feelings, love, care, and tenderness on him for such a long time. He is still playing with me by being as ambiguous as possible, especially in front of other guys. AM I right?

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If he didn't play with your mind as he has done, you wouldn't be nearly as interested.

 

I think this foolishness has gone on long enough. If you're still interested in him, confront him and ask him out to do something together. If he's a player, he'll turn you down and you can move on. If he really likes you, then he'll take you up on the offer.

 

Remember, campuses are flush with beautiful women and TA's, usually grad students, are especially attractive to them for a number of reasons. So you've got a lot of competition and the chances are excellent that he is a player. I really don't blame him...he's in the sweetest of candy stores.

 

You need to take 100 percent responsiblity for any inconvenience you have sustained. You knew all the details, you knew how he was treating you and you continued to participate in the drama.

 

Resolve it and move on. I don't think this guy is the man of your dreams but I may be wrong. I've been wrong before.

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