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the ex gf calls after a year, what to make of this?


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I'll make a long story short without leaving out valuable details. I was with my ex girlfriend for almost 4 years. We got along great as a couple, but had religious differences. She was a JW, I was not. This was what eventually led to our breakup. She didn't' stick to the JW code, and we had a sex a lot during this 4 years, this may factor in somehow later.

 

She left me about a year ago to be with some other JW guy apparently. I moved on, lost a lot of the weight I'd put on and bettered myself a lot during this year. I'd still think of her occasionally, but didn't have a desire to really get back with her.

 

I get a txt from her a few weeks ago and she was selling her car and wondered if I could help her detail it (I used to do cars occasionally for friends and family while we were together - I did higher end cars for a group of clientele I had as well ) I agreed, and she came by my place. She txt's me on the way over and offers to bring beer and lunch. I made it clear that this would not be free from the start by the way when she txted. So we did some work on this car, drank a bit and had some good laughs. It comes out part way through that she is actually still with this guy and he is out of town right now (why she came over on that day).

 

Anyway, she takes off, I get money from her as well as beer and lunch. She mentioned that she still had her car to do and said she would get in contact again. Anyway, I heard from her last week asking if we could do her car this time (she does some of the interior cleaning while I do all the exterior stuff / polishing). She also mentions that her cat died as well and seems upset about it. I just asked her if she was ok and left it at that.

 

Anyway, she's also sent me txt's again reminding me of my nieces birthday a week or so ago and a few other things. She is coming over again this Saturday to do her other car.

 

Does anyone have some insight into what she is up to? Im having a suspicion that maybe things aren't that good in her current relationship and she might want to give me another go? But at the same time she is still a JW and I dont' want to put myself through that again. I also think she would be aware of the same problems and wouldn't' want to hook back up.

Im just confused as to what her intentions might be....

 

She asked me if I was seeing anyone last time and I mentioned that Im casually dating (which is true) but nothing serious at the moment.

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MusicChick24

I think it's one of these things.

 

1. Things are going well with the JW man and she's look for options and trying to bring you back in the picture.

 

2. She's looking for some quick action while her man is away.

 

3. She is lying about still being with the JW man and has split from him and trying to bring you back in the picture.

 

Either way..RUN FOR THE HILLS.

 

Doesn't sound like anything you want to re-involve yourself with.

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I think it's one of these things.

 

1. Things are going well with the JW man and she's look for options and trying to bring you back in the picture.

 

2. She's looking for some quick action while her man is away.

 

3. She is lying about still being with the JW man and has split from him and trying to bring you back in the picture.

 

Either way..RUN FOR THE HILLS.

 

Doesn't sound like anything you want to re-involve yourself with.

 

Didn't' get your first one...Did you mean things "aren't'" going well? and she is looking to get back with me?

 

I have a feeling the JW dood either isn't in picture at all anymore or is on his way out pretty quick. I doubt she's looking for some quick action (cheating on him) as I think she has slightly better morals than this (her moral compass doesn't seem totally ****ing straight if you ask me) but hey we've all got our issues.

 

If she's trying to show me how well she's doing with her BF it's turned into a failure for her. I dropped all the weight I had on when I Was with her, and just bought my first house at 24. she's still in a wack of CC Debt (ie why she's selling her car) and didn't sound like she's having a good time..

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Maybe you could ask her? Objectively why she is coming around so much. She may miss you and want your attention but nothing serious. You look good now leave her behind and meet some new people. Don't let her back in your life not knowing her intention.

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Maybe you could ask her? Objectively why she is coming around so much. She may miss you and want your attention but nothing serious. You look good now leave her behind and meet some new people. Don't let her back in your life not knowing her intention.

 

I think it may be a little to forward just straight up asking her "why are you back in my life". I'll do this 2nd car for her, get my money and then if she calls or txt's again after that to either get together or try to keep in contact then I'll have to ask her directly what she wants (unless she comes out as says it)

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fallendisguise

I get the impression she is trying to come back into your life and using the detailing as an excuse. If you don't want her to, which it sounds like, then maybe you should tell her you can't detail her cars and cut contact.

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MusicChick24
Didn't' get your first one...Did you mean things "aren't'" going well? and she is looking to get back with me?

 

I have a feeling the JW dood either isn't in picture at all anymore or is on his way out pretty quick. I doubt she's looking for some quick action (cheating on him) as I think she has slightly better morals than this (her moral compass doesn't seem totally ****ing straight if you ask me) but hey we've all got our issues.

 

If she's trying to show me how well she's doing with her BF it's turned into a failure for her. I dropped all the weight I had on when I Was with her, and just bought my first house at 24. she's still in a wack of CC Debt (ie why she's selling her car) and didn't sound like she's having a good time..

 

Yes I meant things aren't going well. Sorry for the typo.

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So she came over today to do her 2nd vehicle. We had some drinks while working on her vehicle, we both got pretty exhausted from the heat so came in and laid on the couch for a couple hours. We were both pretty flirty, but I know she still has her bf (even talked to him on the phone when he called at some point). Im so far confused as to what this girl wants.

 

But her 2nd car is now done, so if she wants any further contact with me she's got to have a reason. Im so confused as to what this nutcase wants but Im really not interested in being some sort of pawn in some game she's playing.

 

Im sort of getting an idea that her bf is out of town a lot, and that she may be either looking at me to give her some attention/flirt or something. Kind of weird for someone who's supposed to better than us regular folks on the "moral" end of things.

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Im so confused as to what this nutcase wants but Im really not interested in being some sort of pawn in some game she's playing.

 

OK, good. You answered your own question. Politely tell her to call you when she's single again, if you want to go down that path again. Personally I don't believe in second chances, as I dated the same girl three times... single now, clearly. Soooo... listen to your own words, sigma.

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She left me about a year ago to be with some other JW guy apparently.

 

And you're just gonna let her back into your life? Aren't you a bit resentful at having been left for another guy? You should be, and you shouldn't be hanging out with her. Not if you have any self-respect.

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And you're just gonna let her back into your life? Aren't you a bit resentful at having been left for another guy? You should be, and you shouldn't be hanging out with her. Not if you have any self-respect.

 

Well I was interested to see what she wanted when she txtd / came over the first time to be honest. I still don't really know what she wants after she came over the 2nd time. All I know is she's being super flirty etc.

 

But if I hear from her again (which Im assuming I am going to). I'm just going to tell her that unless she tells me exactly what she wants from us talking/hanging out that I don't want to invest my time in it.

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