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Could this really have caused a big problem?


torranceshipman

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torranceshipman

Hi guys,

So...this guy I've been dating - basically, at what would have been our 1st time, he wasn't able to, erm, manage to. The chemistry and his being excited wasn't a problem - I guess this just happens sometimes. Anyway, I got the feeling it might be a huge deal to him as I did notice a change in him from then on. We texted quite a bit in the few days after, and then he came out for drinks with me when I asked, with 1 hrs notice!-which I took as a sign of keenness...but then he seems to have cooled off since...he asked me to get in touch with info about a night out we both want to go on, but he just emailed to say he couldnt make either date because of prior plans, explaining what the prior plans are, and that he'd really love to go, and are there any other times this event is on?

 

A couple of male friends said that he might have pulled back hugely because of embarrassment - would this really happen? He's a good looking, confident and successful guy so I just presumed (maybe wrongly!) that he just wouldn't be too bothered about this stuff?

 

I do like him, but am still dating other guys, and wondered....do I still pursue this or go down the lets be friends route? His behaviour might even be normal for early days dating, and I'm being a bit impatient? - not sure...

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torranceshipman

Just to add....we last saw each other for drinks a week ago, I emailed a few days ago re: the dates for the event (in 1-2 weeks time) ,he emailed me back yesterday...

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A couple of male friends said that he might have pulled back hugely because of embarrassment - would this really happen? He's a good looking, confident and successful guy so I just presumed (maybe wrongly!) that he just wouldn't be too bothered about this stuff?

 

I'd lay a hefty wager on that they are right. In fact, it sounds like he may have been preoccupied with concern of it happening. Which could very well have been what caused it to begin with.

 

I can only imagine how mortified he must have been.

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TaraMaiden

Anxiety will always make the problem worse.

Causes?

could be nerves, diabetes, prostate problems, or just middle age.

It happens.....

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torranceshipman

My concern isn't why it happened - I'm sure it happens to all guys at one time or another - my concern is more how it might have affected his behavior towards me...

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My concern isn't why it happened - I'm sure it happens to all guys at one time or another - my concern is more how it might have affected his behavior towards me...

 

Pretend when you were on a date with a guy you crapped yourself, and he knew it. How confident would you be with that guy immediately afterword? That is probably about how embarrassed he is.

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torranceshipman

Haha! Ok, that's funny. Thank you - I think that I understand the embarrassment factor now :lmao: You think I should make a little bit more of an effort to show him I like him? I guess if he's that embarrassed, he might just give up on our dating altogether! But worth a try, I guess?

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Haha! Ok, that's funny. Thank you - I think that I understand the embarrassment factor now :lmao: You think I should make a little bit more of an effort to show him I like him? I guess if he's that embarrassed, he might just give up on our dating altogether! But worth a try, I guess?

 

Do whatever you think is best with the perspective I hope you have now. I am not so sure you necessarily have to do anything other than be patient and understanding.

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