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Acting weird after sleeping together...


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Old 29th June 2009, 10:32 AM   #1
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Acting weird after sleeping together...

Well, finally met someone that I think is completely worth my time, energy, etc... She is beautiful, sexy, smart etc... We have been spending a ton of time together and have decided to make it official. We have known each other for a couple of months and just recently slept with one another... well the next morning she was acting weird. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong but I finally got it out of her... She seems to think I will act differently. I'm guessing that this has happened to her in the past (also, she has not had many partners at all). I'm not that type of guy, is there anything I could do to prove to her that she has nothing to worry about and I'm here for the long haul?

I guess I'm just seeing if this is normal as this has never happened to me before. I guess because all the others didn't treat it so serious. Common sense is telling me to keep acting like I was before but maybe even closer and showing her more attention and love...

A female prespective is really what I'm looking for...

TIA,
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Old 29th June 2009, 10:41 AM   #2
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I'm not that type of guy, is there anything I could do to prove to her that she has nothing to worry about and I'm here for the long haul?
Just keep showing up and being who you are. You can't control her feelings. If she can't accept the actions of love and loyalty you show her, then you're just not the right man for her or it's just not her time. There will likely be more insecurities which will present themselves. We haven't gotten to yours yet.

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Common sense is telling me to keep acting like I was before but maybe even closer and showing her more attention and love...
Nice thought but don't smother her. Quality over quantity.
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Old 29th June 2009, 10:43 AM   #3
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Just keep showing up and being who you are. You can't control her feelings. If she can't accept the actions of love and loyalty you show her, then you're just not the right man for her or it's just not her time. There will likely be more insecurities which will present themselves. We haven't gotten to yours yet.



Nice thought but don't smother her. Quality over quantity.

Appreciate the good words... Oh yeah... I'm rather insecure myself ... So I do understand a little bit.. I will just keep being me... that is what she seems to like or otherwise we wouldn't be here...

Thanks,
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Old 29th June 2009, 10:46 AM   #4
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Hey Joe.. it sounds like she thinks you have a small penis j/k

Many women feel that they sleep with a guy too soon and when that happens the guy usually disappears after he gets the sex he was after..

That is most likely what she is afraid of...
She is afraid you are going to just stop calling her now you have had sex..

Just show her that you are there for more than the sex.. take her out to a nice dinner, spend some quality time with her and this feeling she has will subside.
I have always found that when a woman is afraid of being used for sex the easiest way to do this is pull the pressure off on sex.. not only should you take her to a nice dinner .. you shouldn't expect her to sleep with you...

My 2 pennies
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Old 29th June 2009, 10:50 AM   #5
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Eventually, after they've had their coffee, you'll get the female perspective. I'm up early because it's hotter than hell here.

Think of it this way, as stages. Each stage has its challenges and needs a little kicker to get to the next stage. If you share a true connection (a penis in a vagina is not a connection, rather an expression of one, IMO), remaining confident in that connection and the health of it over time will assist as the stages of intimacy proceed. Note: It takes both partners to make this work. You can't pitch and bat at the same time.

So, did you discuss being exclusive before you made love for the first time, or is that still up in the air? To me, it's these intimacy talks which build the bonds of loyalty and trust. Do you have insecurities in those areas? If you do, then you may find a day soon when you go 'weird' on her. This is when her confidence and patience will come into play. So, now, show her your strengths.

Back to my coffee...

Edited to add that I often omit stating the obvious (to me) but A_C brings up a great action, that being taking her to dinner with no expectation of sex. Remember, sex is but one expression of love.

Last edited by carhill; 29th June 2009 at 10:52 AM..
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Old 29th June 2009, 10:59 AM   #6
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Yes, we did mention that we wanted to be with each other exclusively. Infact when we were out last night before we went home we were introducing each other as BF and GF, so it is pretty clear she is the only one... However, I think that is exactly what she is scared of... that I wont be there anymore... good thing for her I will be . Recent text states (as I was typing my last response) "Just be there and keep touching me"... I think that pretty much explains it... She wants to make sure I'm going to be there for her and still touch her and want her the same way I did before we did the deed...

Ehh.. you females... One will never understand... gotta love it..
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Old 29th June 2009, 11:00 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by JoeNat View Post
Common sense is telling me to keep acting like I was before but maybe even closer and showing her more attention and love...
Yeah, that would be great but do it genuinely.

Most women act weird after the first sex cause they think the guy would leave.
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