19th June 2009, 5:08 PM
Join Date: Jun 2009
moving out from my boyfriends house. Is it for the best?
Hi. New member here.
Well.. I live with my boyfriend of almost 2 1/2 years. I actually moved in with him after we had been dating for 3 months (had a bad falling out with my dad, and no where else to go) and for the most part, things between us go smoothly.
He is a wonderful guy, don't get me wrong, but every few months we have a huge fight over something. At some points in our relationship there were some problems dealing with racy pictures of his exs, and talking to other women on dating sites, but we've mostly dealt with that. Even though he now sometimes believes me to be somewhat paranoid at times.
Over the last two years he has been there for me, and supported me when I didn't have a job, and has helped me financially. And I truly love him.
Earlier this week I went with my one friend to go help him look at apartments, cause he's thinking of moving out from his family's house. And I thought that wouldn't be a bad idea. I've never actually been truly independent and supported myself, cause even now it feels like I just kinda live here, and that my boyfriend's house really isn't mine.
There's several positives that I've thought about if I were to move out to an apartment. The one we were looking at was almost centrally located, about 15-20 minutes from every town I need to go to during the week, instead of almost 30 minutes or more. So I'd save gas. And it's about 15 minutes from here, so I wouldn't be too far from my boyfriend. After my dad passed away, I pretty much inherited almost an entire apartment of stuff (been at a storage unit) so it would be fully furnished (minus a couch). At my current job I make enough to pay for an apartment (with a roommate at least), and it would teach me how to be financially responsible. I would get to have my own space again
One of the positive points about the idea is that I wouldn't have to worry about the possibility of having no where to go, should this relationship end. And it's been threatened a few times before. And maybe the space would even improve the relationship.
Overall, it would be a mostly positive experience.
Just.. I'm not sure how to start the conversation with my boyfriend and tell him I'm thinking about moving out. Or even how he would take it. Or the fact my roommate would be my aforementioned friend, another guy. Even though my boyfriend knows, that besides him, I'm not really attracted to guys all that much.
Moving out would probably be the best. I could distance myself a bit, learn more responsibility, and not have to care so much when he puts other stuff before me (like preferring to take off work early to help a friend move stuff, but not take off early to go to my graduation tomorrow to see me get my associates.)
Any input on the situation? Haha, the only people I've talked to about this is two of my friends, and of course they're only going to see my side of it. Just wondering what other people might have to say.