missmich Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 I've been dating this man for 2 months now and it's going well. We decided right away that we did not want to date anyone else and wouldn't be happy if the other slept with anyone else. So it means we are exclusive,yet we are not boyfriend/girlfriend yet. We are dating or seeing each other. I kinda thought being exclusive did mean boyfriend/girlfriend though. I guess I don't really need that label right now especially since I do feel secure and happy with him. When does that term normally happen though? Link to post Share on other sites
tigerstripes Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 just ask him if he wants that. if he says no then you're probably wasting your time anyway if you're looking for a relationship. If he says yes then you have yourself a boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted June 2, 2009 Author Share Posted June 2, 2009 I know we are not bf/gf yet. I really don't want to pressure him and make him call me his gf before he's ready to. We've only known each other and been dating for 2 months and I know he wants to take it slow and isn't ready for anything serious yet. I don't want to scare him off or push him and make him go faster then he can right now. I'm just wondering when most people start to do the bf/gf thing. Link to post Share on other sites
tigerstripes Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 so you're sleeping with him but worried that asking him the status of your relationship is moving too fast? you're not bf/gf until you have a conversation about it. plain and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 Um yeah...I know that we are not bf/gf until we have talked about that. To other members of LS how long do people tend to date exclusivly before they decide to become bf/gf? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 No clue. For some, weeks or months; for others years (this all from personal experience with friends/family). Personally, for me, the shortest was two months and the longest five months, which was with my wife. I think, after the D, I'll likely be trending towards the "years" number Link to post Share on other sites
JustLooking123 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I've never heard of being exclusive but not being boyfriend-girlfriend. Thought they were synonymous. If you didn't (don't) understand his thinking, ask him what the difference is! It's been 2 months, you're having sex, and you're exclusive; what's the hold-up? Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 That is a tough one. I wouldn't know because I have never really made it that far. I usually make it to the second/third date and then that's it for me! LOL I really think you should just ask him about it though. What's the harm? You have been dating exclusively for two months so I think it's not rushing things. One way or the other you will have your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 Honestly I think it's that he's scared to be in a "relationship" or to have a "girlfriend" right now. I know and I'm sure that he knows we are in a relationship now. I think it's just the term that he is scared of. He got out of a long term relationship about 6 months ago and I don't think he's ready to get back in another yet. I think it's to scary for him. I'm actually ok with this. The not having a label thing. All my needs are being met and I trust him and he treats me well and I know by his words and his actions that he cares for me. I'm willing to take it slow and not push the girlfriend label for now. He makes me quite happy Link to post Share on other sites
likestolaugh Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 you're not bf/gf until you have a conversation about it. plain and simple. typical dating site/board answer... but not always the case in the real world. This only happened in High School, when you never knew of the other person might run around with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Weird. We slept together, we both knew the other wasn't seeing anyone else, a week after sleeping together he said ILY, I heard him call me his GF upon introducing me. We never had a discussion about it. Man, the dating world can be so complicated sometimes. I think this guy sounds like he has cold feet. He wants you to be exclusive with him, wants to sleep with you, but is antsy about using the terms BF/GF??? ODD. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 Well when we first met he told me he wanted to take it slow and I understood why. I was the one who brought up the fact that I wasn't seeing anyone else and wasn't interested in that. He said he'd understand if I did want to...but I think he's changed his mind about that now. I was also the one who brought up casually that I wouldn't be happy if he was sleeping with anyone else cuz I don't like to share that way! He said he understood and felt the same way so that's when we kinda decided we were exclusive. Link to post Share on other sites
bean1 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 typical dating site/board answer... but not always the case in the real world. This only happened in High School, when you never knew of the other person might run around with someone else. Interesting, yes! We never had the "discussion". We still haven't, years later. Now having a house and a little one sort of seals the deal But you don't have to have a discussion. That being said, if my SO had slept with another girl in the first few weeks/months of us dating occasionally, I wouldn't really care at all, since that conversation never happened That's a long time ago anyways... Link to post Share on other sites
Mahatma Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 We decided right away that we did not want to date anyone else and wouldn't be happy if the other slept with anyone else. To me, that = bf/gf Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts