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Slept with new guy...it is what it is.


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So I slept with this guy I've been dating yesterday. I'm 24, he's 21--stereotypical young guy, covered in tattoos, smokes pot(occasionally, not a pot head), pretty spontaneous, tons of friends--fun to be around. Met him off match, been talking about 2 months, met 3 weeks ago, this was the 5th time I've seen him, though we've probably spent a good 20-25 hours together total. It definately wasn't my intention to sleep with him yesterday--but I guess I couldn't resist, I mean I like the guy and we had a great time. Oh well. He spent the night all wrapped around me, it was sort of sweet.

 

I like him a lot--but I'm being very careful to keep my expectations low here and not get attached to him. He's told me some things are are questionable--but he told me ahead of time so I guess that's good to have in mind. Pretty much, he'd said that he'd been with a lot of girls when he was younger, mainly high school--that he'd never had a long relationship(longer than 3 months). That in the past, he'd behaved badly: dated/dumped a lot of girls. He has ADD and claims he's looking for someone whose very intelligent--someone with interesting things to say--and he'd toss whoever he was dating after discovering they were, for lack of a better word-- dumb. But that he'd felt badly about it and because of that--he hadn't slept with anyone at all for the past year because he doesn't like the whole casual sex thing and he was looking for someone special.

 

So I completely understand this guy may disappear on me soon. The chances are probably more likely than not and I'm ok with that. Not that I wouldn't be cool with seeing where it went, I'm not going to rely on that. I mean, he *seems* to like me a lot and has fun with me, but who knows what he's really thinking... Thoughts?

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He definitely knows how to play his game. He can date a girl, sleep with them, and dump them when they're " dumb".

 

So he really haven't had sex in a year? What do you call sleeping with you? You guys aren't exclusive and are " casually" dating.

 

I hope you guys used protection.

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We did use protection. He even it brought up--immediately afterwards--that I'd just broken his record and that it had been nearly a year.

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We did use protection. He even it brought up--immediately afterwards--that I'd just broken his record and that it had been nearly a year.

 

I don't know what he's trying to get at, but how does he treat you on a date? Does he take you out to eat? Pay? What does he do?

 

I'm a bit weary of 21 yr olds. They're either immature or sex addicts.

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The past two dates were at my house--my suggestion--we hung out, watched movies, got pizza delivered(I paid for that, but he protested and threatened to leave money stuffed in my sofa---I eventually let him tip the driver). The 3 dates before those, he paid, was very polite, we went to restaurants, movie theater, a bar, coffee.

 

When he's with me in person, he's very touchy feely(but not like in a perverted way like boob or ass-grabbing(haha) I mean, he wants to hold me, kiss me, bite(!) me, tickle me, hold my hand, he's wrapped around me one way or the other. He literally spent the entire night with his arms around me, shifting with me if I moved. But I mean--some guys are just like that. I don't know if that's an indication that he sees me differently than these girls in the past. Again, while I would *like* to take things further, I'm not going to hold my breath.

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The past two dates were at my house--my suggestion--we hung out, watched movies, got pizza delivered(I paid for that, but he protested and threatened to leave money stuffed in my sofa---I eventually let him tip the driver). The 3 dates before those, he paid, was very polite, we went to restaurants, movie theater, a bar, coffee.

 

When he's with me in person, he's very touchy feely(but not like in a perverted way like boob or ass-grabbing(haha) I mean, he wants to hold me, kiss me, bite(!) me, tickle me, hold my hand, he's wrapped around me one way or the other. He literally spent the entire night with his arms around me, shifting with me if I moved. But I mean--some guys are just like that. I don't know if that's an indication that he sees me differently than these girls in the past. Again, while I would *like* to take things further, I'm not going to hold my breath.

 

 

I think you're intimidated by his track record of dumping girls, so now that you've actually slept with him, your insecurities are building up. And that's why you're scared of pursuing anything with ( although you are a bit a attached already), and you're lying to yourself saying you don't want to pursue anything further. The thing is, you probably shouldn't have slept with him, but now that you actually have, you just have to let things take their course. If he decides to pursue anything further with you, all the better. But then you'll still feel like you're stuck with a time limit of 3 months ( as he's told you that's how long most of his relationships are).

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Well, of course I think I'm going to be dumped. That sucks. But I did have fair warning. I've been cautious about him from the start though--like you said, he *is* 21 years old. Technically, he was never a very good prospect for anything real--even before. He's just an interesting person that I enjoyed spending time with--who I am also attracted too. I am, however, pleased that I have been able to keep my emotions in check. I won't be devasted if it does happen.

 

I really did think about this before hand--I don't regret it, I just hadn't planned on it *yesterday*.

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Well, of course I think I'm going to be dumped. That sucks. But I did have fair warning. I've been cautious about him from the start though--like you said, he *is* 21 years old. Technically, he was never a very good prospect for anything real--even before. He's just an interesting person that I enjoyed spending time with--who I am also attracted too. I am, however, pleased that I have been able to keep my emotions in check. I won't be devasted if it does happen.

 

I really did think about this before hand--I don't regret it, I just hadn't planned on it *yesterday*.

 

Of course nobody goes on a date expecting sex, it's not like you can go " hey, you, bring condoms, we're going to do it tonight". :lmao:

 

This is one of those situations where you live and learn. Of course, I'm guessing you're the type of girl that won't get attached after having sex right? If you are, then break it off immediately or else you might find yourself ending up being FWB. Think about what it is you want from a guy, a fling or a relationship. It's never wise to plan anything out when your emotions are involved.

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