griffinchicken53 Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 not sure i titled this correctly. i'll sum this up. ok so i like this girl, probably nothing will come of it though, but it describes a common problem. we talk online alot, not quite as much lately, anyway i was out with some friends, and she showed up to same place with some friends...and for some reason i felt the need to hide....only way i can explain it is i felt ashamed to be seen talking to her.....but it isn't shame, it's just some anxiety. i don't know why i can't figure this out, maybe it isn't knowing how to introduce someone to my friends, etc. anyone have any insight, or ask a more direct question that i could elaborate on? Link to post Share on other sites
windows Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 number 1 for vague situation. are you shy or is it just this girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Mahatma Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 Either you really are embarrassed about her and are afraid your friends will think she is not attractive, or you are really just an anxious person and are not good socially. If it is the second, prepare yourself beforehand about how you will act if you were to see her in public again and plan what you will say and do. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 Feel fear but do it anyway. Some people have anxiety without any real reason. The only way to overcome the fear is to go though it. Do things that you are afraid of for several times and you will not have your fear or at least it will be a small fear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted April 27, 2009 Author Share Posted April 27, 2009 she is very attractive. i just don't know how to handle situations. Link to post Share on other sites
BobSacamento Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 Sounds like your afraid you'll blow it and would rather put off any social interaction with her. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 Everyone experience social anxiety of some degree in new situations. Normally, people experience a new situation and they gain some knowledge how to handle the situation the best. Somethimes it takes a while to learn how to deal with any social situation. Sometimes people avoid some social situations and it is OK for them. As for what is not normal, to have too much anxiety for mild social reasons and all the time so a person is not able to function socially. There are several personality disordes and one of them called 'avoidant personality disorder'. People with this personality disorder always avoid some social interractions and they never learn how to function in those situations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted April 27, 2009 Author Share Posted April 27, 2009 so say i have that disorder, how do i fix it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted April 27, 2009 Author Share Posted April 27, 2009 i think maybe people could pick up on that i like her (and wondering how that might go, or people start giving me advice, etc.) Link to post Share on other sites
terra Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 hey griffen, I think I was like you. I'm not really a shy person but when it came to the opposite sex I was VERY shy. I would feel really self conscious if I was around my friends and talking to a love interest. I would constantly worry about what everyone thought of one another, what they would say, what I would say, if I would look stupid, ect. So I usually ended up looking cold or aloof. I'm not like that anymore. It just came with time. I just started dating a lot more than things got easier and easier. I would suggest just meeting with the girl without other people around so if you feel like you say something dumb and screw things up no one knows. (that made me feel ess anxious). Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 so say i have that disorder, how do i fix it? Do not be silly I did not mean that you have any disorder Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted April 30, 2009 Author Share Posted April 30, 2009 just another thing to add....also if people see me more social, or pick up that I am interested in someone...they all seem to say the same thing............... "well if you want to date i can fix you up with someone" that's never worked for me in the past, plus i would rather have something in common with someone other than being single. so i guess i avoid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted May 11, 2009 Author Share Posted May 11, 2009 pushing this back up, it happened again in another social setting...was better at going up to say hi, but sort of not able to say much, figuring she'd want a betterlooking/more interesting guy to come up and talk. i'm messed up. Link to post Share on other sites
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