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What makes guys emotionally attached?


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Old 14th April 2009, 6:48 PM   #1
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What makes guys emotionally attached?

Most people know that when MOST girls have sex with a guy she gets emotionally attached even when she doesn't even want to. I know this is not true for MOST guys.

So my question is, what does make a guy fall for the girl, if its not through sex. What makes him emotionally attached to her. Just curious....
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Old 14th April 2009, 7:09 PM   #2
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EASy thats the "nice guys" job who get emotionally attached to a girl then the girl knows she has the upper hand and plays him like a fiddle until she is done with him or realizes that he is the one and settles down.

Alot of us don't like to get emotionally attached because then girls think of us as "wussies" and it is the wussy thing to do it is also becoming a "turn off" for reasons that still to this day women don't know why they feel like that.. Too many times women just take this for granted and slowly take advantage of the man. When more women actually deal with this a little better and stop with the "just friends" kiss of death that usually occurs once a guy tells a girl his true feelings, then maybe you will see more and more men treating there women better and getting emotionally attached.

Fact of the matter is 9 out of 10 times women don't want a man to get Emotionally attached to her because it makes him look weak.
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Old 14th April 2009, 8:44 PM   #3
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I honest think women only value something if they have to work on someone else to get it. If a guy lets a girl know he wants to marry her someday, its probably never going to happen. If a girl has to pester a guy forever to get him to purpose, then she cherishes it.

Men and women train each other, and most guys have been trained to be aloof, not want to label relationships or say I love you first, and never be the first to bring up marrige. Doing so will almost always result in a quick trip to the curb on the 'youve been dumped' express.

So, to answer your question, men are going to be standoffish about their attachments out of survival. If we open up with our feelings, women are immediately turned off and/or bored and dump you.
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Old 14th April 2009, 10:14 PM   #4
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You know when a girl gets emotionally attached to a guy before sex? Well, guys get attached for probably the same reasons. It's nothing that can really be qualified. I know all the signs, but I can't really say that I know a "reason".

Whether or not we admit it openly is another matter, but (at least, in my experience) that's the way things go. You know that Police song, "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"? When we hit that feeling, we know we're there.
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Old 14th April 2009, 10:32 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CandyGirlXO View Post
Most people know that when MOST girls have sex with a guy she gets emotionally attached even when she doesn't even want to. I know this is not true for MOST guys.

So my question is, what does make a guy fall for the girl, if its not through sex. What makes him emotionally attached to her. Just curious....
You're right, sex does not get guys emotionally attached. That's why many men are fine getting hookers or having one night stands.

What does get a man attached is repeated exposure over time. Whether or not a man has sex with a woman, if he sees her on a repeated basis for a couple of months or so he will probably fall for the girl. A stronger man may take longer to fall.

Once the attachment is made it's very difficult to break
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Old 14th April 2009, 10:53 PM   #6
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A man can fall in-love with a women without having sex with her.
If he is attracted to her, feels a connection and spends enough time then he can/will fall for her. Men fall in-love emotionally and women seem to fall in-love physically.
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Old 14th April 2009, 10:53 PM   #7
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IMO... What makes a guy emotionally attached is communication. Some women have to learn how to talk guys. Guys especially don't like it when girls get overly emotional & start talkin about love WAY too soon. I always find that guys open up to me because I am usually able to recognize the differences in how men & women communicate..... Or Guys & Girls (For the Kids):-)
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Old 14th April 2009, 10:56 PM   #8
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A man can fall in-love with a women without having sex with her.
If he is attracted to her, feels a connection and spends enough time then he can/will fall for her. Men fall in-love emotionally and women seem to fall in-love physically.
Not true. We fall in love emotionally first, then we bond tighter with sex. Once you seal the deal, it's really difficult to break.
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Old 14th April 2009, 11:02 PM   #9
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You cant really say what causes it.

For some reason this thread is becoming more about what makes women more attached ...go figure....

I think women just wont have sex UNTIL they are attached. It is unfair to say they get attached because of sex.

Guys and girls get emotionally attached for many different reasons.

I am emotionally attached to my woman because I can relax completely with her and I can tell she is totally relaxed with me. She puts me in a wonderful mood, and I put her in one.
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Old 14th April 2009, 11:05 PM   #10
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Not true. We fall in love emotionally first, then we bond tighter with sex. Once you seal the deal, it's really difficult to break.
Then why is it that so many guys get feelings for their women friends but women seem to just see them as friends? Women need the sex to feel the bond but men can bond without it.
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Old 14th April 2009, 11:08 PM   #11
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Lack of perspective and/or experience.

I used to get more emotionally attached in my greener days. Part of that was just that I thought it was natural to bond with a woman and be open about it, even in the early going. What I didn't realize was that I was mistaking infatuation and physical satisfaction for what I thought was love (or some early form of love).

By pushing the envelope, I was interfering with the natural flow of things. But now that I've had more experience, I realize that I wasn't enjoying things for what they were. I was expecting a relationship, and my expectations were forcing me to behave in an emotionally attached way when I should have been much more easy going.

Now, I feel like I have a better idea of when to open up to that sort of attachment. Part of it is having the self-respect to walk away at any time if I feel the need. Part of it is knowing she can do the same. Obviously, when I spend time with a girl and have sex with her, emotions will come into play. It's just a matter of keeping proper perspective, and enjoying the moment, and building the connection so that I know for sure she's someone worth getting to know me better than most people ever will.
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Old 14th April 2009, 11:08 PM   #12
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Then why is it that so many guys get feelings for their women friends but women seem to just see them as friends? Women need the sex to feel the bond but men can bond without it.
There are plenty of women who end up bonding with men through friendship, wanting more and never getting more.

As a guess, there are more men than women who try to get close to a prospective, through friendship, even though they're attracted and don't really want to be friends.
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Old 14th April 2009, 11:13 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Trialbyfire View Post
There are plenty of women who end up bonding with men through friendship, wanting more and never getting more.

As a guess, there are more men than women who try to get close to a prospective, through friendship, even though they're attracted and don't really want to be friends.
I will agree with this statement. Men use friendship as an avenue to love.
I think it comes down to the fear of rejection factor for men.
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Old 14th April 2009, 11:41 PM   #14
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I will agree with this statement. Men use friendship as an avenue to love.
I think it comes down to the fear of rejection factor for men.
Yup. Men know that most women will not reject a friendship. So becoming friends with a woman is the "safe" way to get close to her. I have been guilty of this on several occasions.

I realize now that the "good" memories we had together are not worth the pain I've been feeling for the past month. Becoming friends first is not the way to go.
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Old 15th April 2009, 12:23 AM   #15
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Now, I feel like I have a better idea of when to open up to that sort of attachment. Part of it is having the self-respect to walk away at any time if I feel the need. Part of it is knowing she can do the same.
Yeah, I agree here. Seems likes when I was younger my BF's were quick to say I love you, but now that I am older its completely different. Not only can I tell he is hesitate, so am I.

It is fear for me completely. I am scared to fall, I am scared to be hurt. I know all to well that they can just leave one day, before when I was younger I believed in that fairy tale, now I am realistic about it.

I want to fall, and I am but I am terrified all at the same time.
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